#is lotion inside cuts bad for you

[neopuppy]

Boys Like U (M)

pairing. jeno x female reader

genre. summer vacation AU, friends enemies who fuck, , love triangleish, M/F, smut, pwp, angst, fluff, one shot

warnings. profanity, alcohol mentioned, mean Jeno, explicit smut, mild slut-shaming, jealousy, possessive behavior, y/n is Mark’s cousin, side characters. smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.

wc. 19k

now playing. Boys Like You//Tanerélle

a/n. before you assume anything has been stolen and plagiarized please remember that I *am* @drunkhazed😑💚

smut warnings. dry humping/with an audience(a bit dubcon), rough and unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamics, under negotiated kinks, improper aftercare, choking, slapping, multiple orgasms, over-stimulation, manhandling(y/n can be lifted and thrown around), degradation, humiliation, etc

♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡

Summertime and the livin’s easy

The same lyrics repeat over and over again. Jaemin’s been looping this same god damn song for the last hour, wailing along with the lyrics like a banshee.

“I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit!” He’s been singing along the entire time too. Sniffling tears away from his eyes, earning another round of groans from everyone trapped inside of the car with him.

“Enough dude!” Haechan shouts, reaching to switch the song. “I can’t fucking take it anymore. It’s summertime and the livin’s easy! Not fucking summertime and torture my fucking friends.”

“Jaemin- listen man, I know this break up has been hard on you, but you don’t have to make all of us suffer with you!” Renjun adds, reaching around the driver’s seat to massage his shoulders.

“Definitely not the best way to go about that..” Jisung mumbles, pinching the skin between his eyebrows.

“Screw her dude, we’re gonna find you so much pussy to lose yourself in the next couple of weeks.” Haechan cheers, reaching over to pat Jaemin’s stomach right as the tears he’s been trying to hold in burst free. “Aw man, gross. Don’t do that!”

Evil, I’ve come to tell you that she’s evil, most definitely

Falling in love must be horrible. 

Jeno should probably say something, Jaemin’s his best friend after all.. but they’ve been talking about Jini nonstop for the past 30 days now! And they break up every other month! She said it was for good this time.. but he can’t help to think that’s a lie. Renjun’s not exactly wrong, they’ve been excited about this trip for days now. He’s half-way to throwing out a ‘suck it up!’ right before they exit the Pacific coast highway and he lets out a huge sigh. 

“You know I’m right man, enough is enough.” Renjun leans in closer to his ear, whispering low enough for only Jisung and Jeno to catch.

“He’s still our friend..” Jisung mutters, pursing his lips into a thin line. 

“I can already smell the coconut tanning lotion melting on fat juicy titties.” Haechan shoves his head out of the passenger seat window. Eyes shut, sucking down a long-winded inhale of the ocean breeze infiltrating the car. “Fuck, I love summer!!!” He shouts out happily, smacking the side of the jeep.

Jaemin breaks into a smile, shaking off the tears that managed to escape. “You guys are right, next time I bring her up—hit me upside my head or something. It’s one our our last summer’s out here, we need to have the best time.”

“That’s my boy!” Renjun yells, wrapping a playful chokehold around his throat. “We’re gonna have the best time!”

“We’re here!” Jaemin shouts out between laughs, slapping at Renjun’s arms still firmly wrapped around his neck. 

“Fucking finally.”

Jeno stretches his limbs out, back cracking as he arches back and lets out the deepest and loudest yawn after sitting cramped up in the backseat of Jaemin’s jeep for the last five hours. A ride that could have been less cramped if everyone had stuck to only packing one bag for the next two weeks and Renjun hadn’t changed his plans last minute to tag along.

“You made it!” Mark’s cheerful boisterous giggle sounds out from the front door, throwing it open to run down the driveway in his flip flops that clap loudly against the pavement. Immediately breaking into a round of high-fives and hugs to greet all of them.

“Course we did Markie! Even though Jaemin made us stop five damn times to piss.” Haechan snickers, glaring toward the backseat of his car.

“I drank an entire large cold brew!” Jaemin says to defend himself, waving around the now empty large plastic cup. “Forgot how long this drive is.”

“See, this is what Hannah Montana meant when she said nodding my head like yeah! Moving my hips like yeah! You know I’m gonna be okay!” Haechan sings out terribly, adding a sway of his hips with his arms held up toward the sky. “It’s a party in the USA!”

“Ugh.” Jisung grimaces, dragging his bag past Renjun who joins him, bumping their hips into each other.

Jeno can’t stop the smile from forming on his face, rolling his eyes as he takes in the street. Not much has changed, palm trees full as ever, bright sunlight burning down on the concrete. Santa Barbara really has a charm that Santa Monica can’t compare to.

It is a long drive, especially to be stuck together with his friends all maintaining different levels of energy and patience, but it’s worth it every single time. Because for some reason Mark’s parents agreed to loaning out their beach house a couple of weeks out of the year during summer for their son and his friends to fuck around. The reason really being that he’s spoiled rotten and they cut a deal that as long as a few of his family members can tag along, the summer house is all his.

That’s where you enter.

The first summer Jeno was allowed to venture out to Santa Barbara with his friends was also the first summer he met you. It’s not his favorite memory, in fact, he fucking hates how clearly he remembers every detail from that day.

‘This is my cousin.’ Mark had introduced you with his usual cheerful smile, motioning to his friends that responded with their names one by one.

‘A girl.’ Jaemin mumbled, nudging Jeno’s side. 

‘I didn’t think she’d actually want to come after I told her that all of you guys were joining me, but we always hang out during summer since she lives kind of far. You guys don’t mind right?’ 

‘As long as she doesn’t care, I don’t see anything wrong with having her around.’ Jisung said with his thumbs held up, nodding hard enough for his hair to bounce around.

Yeah. What’s the big deal? Sure, you’re pretty, maybe even one of the prettiest girls Jeno’s ever seen before. And yeah, you smell great, wafting your scent around each time you flip your hair away from your shoulders. Not to add on that he also noticed how you only seem to look away when you find him staring at you. 

Jaemin easily started joking around with you, even including you in on some of their legendary inside jokes right away. Haechan, he’s always helpful and cool, cutting up fruit for you and checking to see if you need more snacks or something to drink. Even Renjun, who’s usually awkward around girls, got close to you after a night of a heated Monopoly game while the power went out. 

Jeno should have asked if he could join too, desperately racking his brain for how he could break the ice and get to know you better. It shouldn’t be this hard, right? Except it is, because his mouth gets more dry when you’re around. His bottom lip grows raw from biting down on it, his nails get bitten down to nothing but skin, even bleeding at times. He’s a mess in your presence and can’t even figure out why. Surely it has nothing to do with how his chest pinches and pounds faster the second you enter his proximity.

The last time he felt this way was probably junior high when he had a crush— wait no, that wouldn’t make sense. He doesn’t have a crush or anything like that, no way.

Not that his dickhead friends would agree as they laughed and wiggled their eyebrows at him insisting they play spin the bottle.

‘Come on, we’ll make it interesting, the bottle lands on you and you have to choose truth or dare. We’re kind of an uneven number to be playing tonsil hockey right now anyways.’ 

Haechan smirked, dragging his tongue across his lips. ‘You got nothing to hide anyway, Jeno.’

Great. Fucking pricks. They wouldn’t ask him something about you if he chooses dare. That would be so fucked up, but also- that does not explain why Jaemin winked at him, and why Renjun kept nudging into his side. How the hell can they tell? Has he been too obvious?

‘Oh Jeno! It’s your lucky day!’

The tip of the emptied glass bottle unceremoniously comes to a halt directly pointed at his figure. He sighs, head dropping back as he shakes it back and forth to avoid your curious gaze from across the circle you’ve all ended up in.

It’s still as clear as if it happened just yesterday, and he fucking hates it. Hates that he can still remember the look of disgust forever ruining your pretty face. The loud obnoxious ‘eww!’ You shrieked as his friends bursted out laughing around him after he admitted to finding you cute.

It should have been harmless. He should have fucking gone for a dare, anything better than the rush of embarrassment that sped up to his cheeks and rapidly lit them up to a mortifying shade of red.

God, what was he thinking? Why the hell did he even answer Jaemin’s stupid question honestly!

‘No bullshit alright dude, you into her?’ He smirked, nodding your direction. A look of fear and worry scattered all over your face as he peered back and forth between the two of you.

‘I mean, yeah sure. She’s pretty cute.’

It was innocent, and maybe he had expected—hoped for a better reaction. What would it hurt to imagine you’d reciprocate his feelings? God, it was so dumb, his biggest regret for the last 7 years; even worse than the first time he got high and ran around in his boxers with his ass crack fully out. Albeit, the photos to remind him of his actions the next day didn’t help, he’s never been able to forget that look on your face. Your disgusted repulsed face that he’s only ever seen once, when he fucking called you cute.

Not to mention the way you avoided him after as if he had leprosy, too grossed out to even accept the dishes he set down in front of you for lunch the next day.

Flat out cruel and mean for no reason, making it very clear to him that you wanted nothing to do with him.

Fine. 

If that’s the way you want to spend your summer vacation together, then he’d make sure to give you a real reason to hate him.

It started with smearing nutella on your swimsuits that were hanging out to dry. Then purposely aiming the ball at your head during the pool game of volleyball you had the next day, not even apologizing as he smiled and shrugged. 

‘Not my fault this airhead can’t see for shit.’

That must have really hit a nerve, sporting a frown throughout the rest of the game until you gave up and refused to continue playing after he accidentally punted the ball right at your face. 

Any time he had the chance to grill or cook, he always made sure to make your plate of food extra crispy, real charred. 

‘I thought that’s how you liked it, burnt to a crisp.’ He’d smile proudly, scraping a knife down the blackened hotdog he set down for you.

Of course it was childish, he was fucking fifteen years old and you bruised his ego to hell and back as far as he was concerned. Had him pulling at his face in the mirror before bed, tussling his hair, double checking the scent of his body after showering, analyzing his clothes and lack of developed muscle. 

You didn’t have to act like he was the most repulsive boy to ever walk the earth! And the reality is, it hurt.

It hurt so bad, he had to shake off the moisture forming behind his eyes after heading to his bedroom, unable to turn off the repeated cry of disgust you let out after all he said is that you’re cute. A harmless fucking compliment.

Really, as much as he hates to say it- you’re a real bitch.

Jeno’s mother would be appalled if she could hear his thoughts when it comes to you. He was raised to be polite, only to respect women. But you, something about you seriously pisses him the fuck off.

It’s not because he likes you. Even his friends were convinced after those first two weeks that you two hated each other, because of course you decided to retaliate. Cutting holes into his swim trunks, pouring itching powder all over his bed, filling his sunscreen bottle up with hair removal cream that left painful welts on his skin after rubbing it in like lotion and laying in the sun. 

You. You’re seriously such a bitch, he can’t stand it. Can’t control how his rage rises to a boiling point the second he even catches a glimpse of you. You’re quite possibly the most fucking annoying girl he’s ever met, maybe the only girl that has ever annoyed him this much.

And yet his eyes still scan the room for your presence as he steps inside of the house he’s spent the last 7 summers at. The same room he gave you a kiss in against your will. Right in front of everyone, your cousin, his friends. The night he revisits in his memories time and time again that he can’t move on from. 

It was all Jisung’s fault.

‘Fine.’ Jisung smirks mischievously, rubbing his hands together. ‘We’re too old for childish games.’

‘Finally, someone with sense.’ Jeno adds, still pouring salt on his wounds from the time he got stuck inside of a closet with you for seven minutes.

‘Not so fast Jeno. I said childish games, not games in general, and there is one we’ve yet to play.’

‘Here we go.’ Haechan grunts, motioning toward his friend and rolling his eyes. He’s been chatting up some of the girls they met at the beach earlier for the last couple of hours. Refilling their cups and flexing his thin bare arms to entice them. ‘Come on Ji, you always want to play these stupid games.’

’Well, are you too chicken?‘ Jisung’s grin grows larger, raising his eyebrows. 

Are you too chicken? He repeated deviously, eyeing everyone around the room. They all refuted his suspicions, turning the question around on him until he agreed to go first and was dared to break Haechan’s cool demeanor

The room erupted with hoots and hollers as he plopped his ass down on the olders lap and Haechan stuttered, eyebrows furrowed together, teeth clenched to hold back a curse.

‘Ji, get the fuck off of me.’

‘Do you give up?’ 

‘Fuck off.’

Haechan choked on his spit, coughing and shoving the younger away once their lips grazed together. Sitting up without falter, Jisung raised his arms triumphantly. ‘And that is how you play chicken.’

Another stupid game, only now drinks are involved, sipping on tepid beer as he watches Jaemin and Haechan lock lips before both losing at the same time. Dramatically spitting and swiping at their mouths as they kick at each other.

‘YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KISS ME BACK ASSHOLE!’

Embarrassment covered their faces as the girls surrounding giggled and cooed, letting them know they looked so cute kissing.

‘Fine fine! We start over from whoever hasn’t spun the bottle yet.’ Mark interrupts the ruckus, pointing toward Jeno. ‘Your turn.’

‘Not playing.’

‘And why is that?’ Jisung asks with an arched up eyebrow. ‘Scared?’

‘We know why..’ Renjun mumbles by his side, earning a round of snorts and hushed laughs from his friends.

They know exactly how to get under his skin, how to force his hand to grab onto the stupid bottle. Gripping the body of the emptied glass hard enough to feel the sticky residue left behind from the label that was peeled off. He gulps, refusing to glance around, not wanting to risk the chance of meeting your gaze.

There’s no way he can actually be so unlucky, not twice. The bottle will land on one of his friends, one of the girls they picked up. It won’t land on you, not again. The universe can’t be that cruel to him.

As he watches the bottle slow down, he swallows hard, eyes falling shut right as it comes to a stop. Confirming that some God out there must be an actual monster intent to ruin his life. 

‘The two people who hate each other.’ Jaemin laughs out loud, clasping his hands together. ‘This should be good.’

‘Don’t forget the rules.’ Jisung coughs out nervously, nodding toward you. ‘If you don’t want to continue, you forfeit.’

‘Don’t kiss me.’ You murmured, trying to be quiet enough for only him to hear. ‘Please.’

Jeno contemplated ending this fast and doing just that, would you give up before his lips could even get a small taste of yours? Not as if he even wants to know what the lip gloss you’re constantly reapplying tastes like anymore..

‘Go.’ Renjun motions to the both of you, flapping his hands. 

If you don’t want him to kiss you, he’ll have to come up with something else. Taking in a deep breath to raise his confidence, he reaches to push loose strands of hair behind your ear; gaining rounds of gasps and amused sounds from your audience. 

Wide eyes full of uncertainty, or maybe even dread, stare back at him anticipating his next move. There’s no point in bothering to ask if you’re okay with this, obviously you aren’t. Given the way your nose wrinkles as he moves closer to you and cups your cheeks. 

Soft, warm, so squishy beneath his palms that have been beat up from falling off his skateboard and landing hands first against pavement for years. You’re as pretty as ever up close, maybe even prettier. Churning his stomach as he looks over your lips, appearing to be pouting out enticingly on purpose if you ask him. And yet you don’t want a kiss, anything but that..

‘Don’t.’ You whisper again, hardly moving your mouth. 

‘Don’t what.’ He repeats monotonously, thumbs slowly sliding down your cheeks. His curious gaze follows, eyeing the swimsuit cover up you have on. The damp one-piece hot pink suit underneath.

Jeno forgets momentarily that this is just a game, that you hate him, that his friends are all snorting and chuckling around you other than Mark who has his eyes covered. He forgets that he’s parting your thighs open to make space for himself against your will, smoothing his hands up your shivering soft inner thighs. 

‘She’ll definitely crack..’ Jaemin’s sitting the closests to you, speaking to the others from behind his hand. ‘Jeno’s got this.’ He smirks, but his eyes widen within the next second. His full attention returning to his best friend's hands roaming up your body. To the way your stomach convulses and you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid looking at any of them.

‘No closing your eyes.’ Renjun speaks up, waving at Jaemin to do something.

Jeno slowly lifts his heavy gaze to his friend, practically threatening him with his blown out lust-ridden gaze to dare to try and touch you. This is his time, and the only one that should ever be lucky enough to lay his hands on you is him. The other seems to understand, silently nodding and shrugging Renjun’s command away.

‘You heard them.’ Jeno cups your chin, jerking your head to look at him. Lowering himself deep between your thighs, he grinds down as he lands. The heavy weight of the warm bulge inside of his shorts stealing a gasp from your throat, shooting your eyes fully open to land on his. ‘That’s it.’

Striking your core with another roll of his hips, he can hear the deep inhales around him. Everyone watching the tiny jolts your body gives, digging your back against the floor with each movement. 

‘This is too much.’ Mark says from further back, having moved away from the circle to cover his ears and look in the opposite direction. ‘I can’t watch.’

‘Can’t believe she hasn’t tapped out..’ Haechan whispers, biting down on his lips when Jeno picks up his pace, slinking a hand between your bodies.

‘Jeno..’ you grit between clenched teeth, unable to move yourself out from under his weight.

‘Loser?’ He taunts, shifting his lower half down more for his hardened bulge to press against your clothed slit. The tips of his perverse fingers seeking their destination as he taps at your bundle of nerves and pulls your spine to bow up. ‘Give up.’ He mouths, thrusting his stiff hard-on forward roughly. Successfully manipulating the fabric of your swimsuit to close in, sink between your folds. 

Panic runs all over your face as you shake your head and lower your gaze to where your hips meld into each other. Biting down on the backs of your teeth to quell down the moans beating at the inside of your throat. Jeno would shove his shorts and boxers off in one go given any other circumstance. Desperate to let his cock breathe the more he builds up his thrusts and slams his hips down. 

‘Fuck this is..’ Jisung wipes the sweat collecting at his neck.

‘Hot.’ Jaemin finishes, cheeks flushed pink with big glossy eyes scanning you from your pleasured face to your curved up spine.

Jeno would agree with them, if only he wasn’t so painfully horny. Clutching onto one of your thighs, he throws it over his hip for better leverage to nestle his cock right between your cunt. The material of his swim trunks all sticky and wet from the pre-cum that won’t stop dripping out of his cock. He grunts, using his free hand to grab onto your neck before his next thrust can jerk you too far up the floor. A moan gets caught up in his throat, panicking that it may slip free, he lowers closer to your face. Lips hovering dangerously near by, only a few inches away; each fan of breath emitting from his lips more threatening than the last.

Flailing out your arms in a panic, you stare up at him wide tear-filled eyes, reaching for his wrist. ‘N-no!’

‘Shit.’ He bites down, clasping your throat tighter. ‘Tapping out?’

With your eyes squeezed shut you weakly throw out your free hand at his chest. ‘No m-more!’

‘Fuck.’ Renjun groans, rubbing over his face. 

‘J-Jeno wins.’ Jisung says brokenly, stretching his shirt down to his folded in knees to hide the embarrassingly obvious bulge that's formed in his shorts.

Bending down, he hits you with one more firm thrust, lips pressed to your ear. The corners of his mouth twitch as he presses a kiss along your earlobe and nips at your jaw. ‘You lose.’

He watched your face crumble, squeezing your eyes shut as a whimper fled from your lips. Desperate for a taste he plastered his sweaty palm over your mouth. The way your eyes shot open and burned holes into him has never left his mind. Much like the way your thighs clenched around his hips, fear and arousal hitting you all at once. 

‘I know you want a kiss.’ Pressing his lips to your forehead, he thrusted against your core pointedly one more time. Rolling off to the side with a proud grin as he sat up victoriously.

Ever since that night, he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off of you whenever you meet up for summer vacation again. Well, that’s not exactly true, since he can’t actually touch you in front of all of his friends. What would Mark think if he saw the way you drop to your knees for him so easily, how you spit on his cock and gobble him down better than any slut in grade A quality porn? 

What would any of them think? And why does he still give a damn. If anything, his friends would be raging with jealousy if they could only hear the way you moan and cry on his cock..

“Jaemin!” 

There you are- jumping up from the couch only to run right past him and leap into his best friend's open arms; wrapped up in a tight embrace straight out of some cheesy romcom. Even snaking your legs around his hips, straight up looking like a pair of long-distance lovers.

Jeno would be offended if not for the act you two have successfully kept up the last few summers now. Because why would you greet him first? You hate him. 

He hates you.

At least that’s what everyone around the two of you believes.

“Ah, I’ve missed you so much.” His friend sighs, nose pressed against your hair with his eyes falling shut as he deeply inhales. It’s not unusual to see you this close with any of them, but his fingers still itch and jerk by his hips when you take a step back to cup Jaemin’s cheeks and squeeze them until his smooth lips pop forward and he brings out his signature big dolly eyes. Blinking those long eyelashes at you that he knows melts hundreds of girls' hearts.

“You’ve been crying.”

He nods and accentuates his plump pout, bitten over pink lips jutting forward much too close to yours. “It’s okay Jaemin, I’m here now. I’ve got you baby.”

Another hug, another sight that makes Jeno’s eyes shake as you rub up and down Jaemin’s spine, cooing and waving behind his back at Haechan and Renjun who enter next. 

Jeno won’t so much as get a nod or ‘sup?’ And he knows it. Clenching his teeth as he looks away and rolls his eyes. It’s not a big deal, nothing to overreact about, not like he’s your boyfriend or anything..

“Boooo!! Break up the love fest!” Haechan shouts, dropping his bag to hold out a thumbs down and obnoxiously blow his tongue out. “Gross.”

“Heyy, my poor Jaemin’s heart is broken!” You scoff, smacking his hand down. “He needs me, unlike you emotionless brutes, I know how to comfort him.”

Oh? You know about Jaemin’s break-up? The one that just happened 2 days ago? That seems to make Jeno’s ears perk up, watching from the corner of his eye as you motion for his best friend to follow you down the hall. “Come on, let’s get you all settled in. I brought you something.”

That’s weird.

Surely Jaemin will tell him about it later, you two have always been closer than you are even with Mark. It’s probably nothing, friends catching up.. that’s all.

Jeno will sneak to your room later, after everyone falls asleep and then you can properly reunite. He can’t wait really, would have made his way to your room once everyone settled into their rooms if you weren’t so occupied with Jaemin..

“Man, she wastes no time.” Renjun laughs, interrupting his thoughts. “Dude’s dick probably still smells like Jini, but here she is ready to claim.”

“Jaemin said they’ve been talking a lot though, must really want him since she never gave up.” Mark mentions, reminding everyone of their usual assigned bedrooms.

“Who’s been talking?” Jeno asks abruptly, shifting to stand awkwardly when everyone’s attention lands on him. “What are you guys on about?”

“This is like the first summer Jaemin’s ever been single.” Jisung shrugs, pointing down the hallway. “I do not want to sleep in the rooms next to either one of them.”

“Jaemin and Jini break up all of the time.” Jeno says flatly, patience wearing thin. “They’ll get back together before we even head home.”

“Not if she has anything to do with it.” Haechan snorts, smiling lazily to one side. Nodding in the direction you’ve disappeared off to with Jaemin.. “I know you hate her, but we all know she’s been dying to fuck Jaemin.”

What? 

Renjun rolls his eyes. “Should have been me.”

“Dude.” 

“Sorry Mark, but it’s true!” Renjun’s tongue clicks, glaring down the hallway. “I’ve been flirting with her since we were kids!”

“Haven’t we all?” Haechan adds, turning toward Jeno. “I mean, the rest of us. Not you.” He corrects mostly to calm the anger radiating off of his friend. 

“Can’t believe we’ve been here for longer than 10 minutes without the two of you exploding at each other yet.” Mark forces a smile, scratching his neck nervously. “Hope uhh.. we can skip that for the next couple of weeks.”

Jeno’s lips tighten together, sealing them shut to stop himself from screaming out something outlandish that he won’t be able to explain. There’s no fucking way you’re seriously trying to hook up with Jaemin? His best fucking friend? You’d never. 

But you would, because you love to piss him off, whether it’s intentional or not.

‘I want to see you. Right now.’ Quickly turning around, he shoots you a text. Squinting when his ears pick up on the sound of buzzing clattering on the kitchen counter. Of course you left your phone behind, great. 

Text Message From ‘the biggest asshole I know’ reads across the screen. Real mature. At least now he has an excuse to bother you.

“Uh, I’ll be in my usual room.” He nods toward Mark, hauling his bag up the stairs. “Need a shower and a quick nap.”

“Later bro.”

Dropping off his bag in the room across from yours, he tries to unlock your phone. Unable to access more than your lock screen when asked for the passcode, he grunts and walks over to your bedroom for the next couple of weeks. It already smells like you in here, all of your lotions and body sprays set up on one of the dressers, empty luggage on the floor. You must have gotten in early today.. didn’t even bother to text him and let him know.

You probably let Jaemin know, he thinks, eyes rolling off to one side annoyed. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Jeno’s head snaps to find you at the door, pulling your phone from his pocket. “Forget something?”

“Oh.. thanks.” 

“That’s all you have to say to me? What happened to hello? How have you been?”

“When have I ever cared about your well-being?”

“Right.”

He hasn’t even had time to get a good look at you yet. Slowly dragging his eyes down your figure to the sandals you have on, your cutely painted toes. The same toes he’s stuffed inside of his mouth while 9 inches deep inside of you. “If I was Jaemin, you’d care.”

“Jaemin’s my friend.” You say snarkily, letting the door stay open behind you. “Is that a problem?”

“Seems like a lot more than a ‘friend’ to me.”

The questioning look in your eye screams something he can’t decipher, maybe something he doesn’t want to begin to figure out. “You shouldn’t use my best friend just to make me jealous.”

“God, you seriously think that my world revolves around you.” Rolling your eyes, you point behind yourself toward the door. “Get the hell out of my room.” 

“Are you gonna make me?” Jeno’s head feels fuzzy already as his palm slams against your door to close it shut. He can’t deny he missed this, the way you stare at him with disgust written all over your pretty features, a little fear hidden in your gaze. Your tight-lipped frown, puffing your chest out to come off more intimidating than you could ever pull off. It makes his blood buzz, ears light up pink filled with fire, intoxicated by the hate that only you are capable of giving him.

“I said get out of my roo—!” A large palm around your throat cuts off your screaming before you can finish. Stealing your next breath with the heavy weight of his hand encased around your neck.

“Wanna repeat that for me?” He mocks, leaning in closer to hiss near your ear before your eyes roll up to find his. That lost empty headed look he’s become addicted to locks in on him, the same exact way it did in the coat closet downstairs near the entrance only a few years ago. 

7 minutes in heaven never stood a chance between the bickering and insults you lashed out at each other alone in the middle of hung up jackets and stuffed away pillows. Somehow you two always ended up in these situations, whether it be your friends looking for a laugh or destiny sending you down the same path.

‘Let’s get this over with.’ You rolled your eyes like such a brat. He hated it, hated how easy one little stupid movement could make his skin crawl. No reason you should look that good showing off the whites of your eyes, acting like a little bitch.

‘I’m not fucking kissing you.’

‘You think I want this?! I’m so sick of always getting stuck with you! You’re probably the worst kisser—‘

He had cut you off back then too, the same exact way. Enraged by the lies you continued to hurl at him with intent to hurt. ‘You never shut the fuck up.’

The moan that slipped out of your lips caught the both of you off guard. Tightening his chokehold on your throat to earn another more desperate whiny sound. ‘You like that?’

You still like that, love it in fact. Pursing your lips together to shoot a wad of spit at his face, you gain a bit of momentum while he curses and shakes off the saliva dripping down his cheek. Using his moment of distraction to claw at his shoulders and slam your hips down onto the leg he trapped you against the door with.

“You fucking bitch.” 

He knows you hate it when he calls you that, evident by the added pressure you dig into his shoulders with. Strong enough to tear tiny holes through the material of his worn down t-shirt. He hisses and shoves the back of your head against the door. “I’ve been great by the way, in case you’re curious. Thanks for the warm welcome.”

“Did you expect the red carpet rolled out sunshine?”

“It’s not everyday a girl moans out that I’m the best fuck of her life.” He teases meanly, raising an eyebrow. “Have you forgotten already?”

Averting your gaze, you curse under your breath. Blinking away the heat that’s rushed up to your cheeks and burned up to the rims of your eyes. “That’s not—“

“Not what?” He cuts you off, digging his fingers into your hips to roll your lower half up and down his thigh. “Not true?”

It was a moment of weakness, Jeno knows. Knew last summer when you whimpered and trembled on his cock inside of the small pool house he followed you into. Lost in the euphoria of your orgasm or not, nothing you cried out had been a lie and you both know it. Even if you refused to meet his gaze after and changed the subject when he brought it up again later. 

“Fucking hate you.” You whisper, showing lack of resistance as he speeds up how fast you rock up and down his thigh.

“I’m the worst.” He cooes, licking his lip. Pressing in to nudge his nose against yours. “Say it, tell me I’m the worst.”

“Sick is what you are,” you spit out breathily. The taut skin between your eyebrows folding together. “So.. fucking annoying.” You pant, the loose summer dress you threw on riding up to your stomach. Underwear scratching against your clit maliciously. “St-stop.”

“Come on baby, tell me.” He huffs, thigh bouncing against your circling hips. “Who fucks you as good as me?”

No one. No one does.

Shaking your head, you look away, face scrunching up as your orgasm begins to unfold. “Bullshit.”

“Making a mess all over my thigh after only a few minutes?” He questions huskily, licking up your sweat damp cheek. The mocking tone unravels a frantic panic through your gut, flushed by the embarrassment. “And you expect me to believe anything you’re saying right now?”

“Ugh! Get off of me.” You grunt, pushing your weight against his chest. Beating your rolled up fists down on his pecs. “Asshole.”

“What’s your problem?”

“You. Always you.” You spit, moving around him to open one of the nightstands drawers. Thighs gripped together to stop yourself from making a mess down your thighs. “Only came in here to grab Jaemin’s gift.”

“Oh?” Jeno’s eyebrows raise all the way up high, tongue dragging across the upper row of his teeth. “Wasn’t aware of the Birthday party?”

“I don’t need celebratory excuses to buy my friends gifts.” You sneer, intentionally walking into him on your way to the door. “You wouldn’t know anything about that.”

“What’d you get him?” He asks curiously, attempting to grab the bag from your hands. 

“None of your fucking business.” Taking a big leap toward the door, you yank it open. “And get out of my room.”

“Why? I can just wait in here for you.”

“I’m busy catching up with Jaemin, won’t be back soon. Don’t want you stinking up the place.” Blowing him a kiss, you finish with a raised middle finger. “Fuck outta here.”

Jeno watches you head down the hallway toward the room Jaemin typically shares with Jisung, confusion streaked across his face. 

“This doesn’t make any sense..” he whispers, leaning against your door. You seriously just ditched him like that?!? When you’ve practically damn near mounted him and tackled him down for a quickie each time you reunited the past few summers?!

Shaking off his insecure thoughts, he trudges to his bedroom to finish off what you should be on your knees for. It’d be too weird to storm into Jaemin’s bedroom pitching a full tent to yell at you right now.. no way to explain that..

Whatever you’re up to, he doesn’t like it. Ruining his orgasm in the shower as he lightly bangs his head against the wet tile. Frustrated by all of the scenarios he keeps imagining you and Jaemin falling into, alone, in his room, on his bed, probably sucking face with his best friend.

“She wouldn’t.” He nods to himself, convinced that you may be dumb- but you can’t be that dumb.

Scrubbing at his wet hair with a towel, he catches the annoyed look on his face in the wet fogged up bathroom mirror. “She would.”

♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡

“Holy hell.” Haechan whistles as you step outside, gaining Jeno’s attention to follow his line of gaze.

What the fuck.

“Mama Mia.” Renjun fist bumps Haechan, both nodding proudly. “No more granny one piece swimsuits.”

“Always knew she had a nice ass on her.”

Jeno’s upper lip curls upwards, glaring at you setting down a towel on one of the pool chairs. Making a real show of it with all the unnecessary bending over and hair flips you do. 

“If it walks like a whore and talks like a whore.” He mutters, scoffing. “Can only be a fucking whore.”

“Ehh, you’re just mad she’ll never let you hit.” Renjun jeers, pinching Jeno’s cheek. “Grow up!”

Slapping his hand away, he refocuses on setting off laser beams from his eyes into your backside. Your extremely exposed backside that he should have left marked up yesterday with his handprints and teeth marks. That would shut his friends up who have no chance with you, because you belong to him.

At least sometimes. 

The huge smile that graces your pretty face as Jaemin approaches you tells him otherwise. Sucking in the insides of his cheeks to bite down on as he watches the two of you embrace and his best friend's hands float much too close to the perk of your ass.

“Luckiest motherfucker in the world I swear.” Haechan curses, sucking air between his teeth when Jaemin takes the chance and gently pats your hip. “I give it one more day before they’re hooking up.”

“You’re probably right.” Renjun hums and agrees. “The sooner the better so we can swoop in next.”

“Wanna tag team?”

“Let’s do it.”

“She doesn’t want any of you.” Jeno shuts them up, frustrated by their banter interrupting his thoughts. Rolling his eyes petulantly and scoffing loudly to announce how annoyed he is.

Who the fuck does Jaemin think he is?! Suddenly single and immediately ready to deep dive between the first pair of legs ready to spread for him?! And you! Who the hell do you think you are! Shamelessly flirting with his friend?!

“This guy.” Haechan rolls his eyes, straightening up and puffing his chest out as you approach them.

“What’s on the menu today boys?” You ask cheerfully, not sparing Jeno a look.

“How about a mimosa for the pretty lady?”

“Sounds great!” You say cheerfully, bouncing up and down much too eagerly for Jeno’s liking.

“What are you wearing?” He hisses as quietly as possible, not wanting to draw attention from Haechan and Renjun as they scour through the pool bar for champagne. “What the hell is this?”

“Huh?” You ask dumbly, making the same old disgusted face you always pull when he tries to speak to you. “What did you say to me?”

Jeno watches his friends squat down in search of orange juice, grabbing onto your elbow to draw you closer to him. “I said, what the hell are you wearing?!”

“Uhm, a bathing suit?” Attempting to shrug him off, you push at his bare chest. “Let go of me!”

“Quiet down..” his lip curls in, tugging you closer. “Where’d you buy this? A fucking Hustler store?”

“I’ll have you know this is Beach Bunny! And I paid a lot for it!”

“Yeah, with daddy’s money.”

“You shouldn’t talk, West LA trash.” 

Ah, there it is. The same shit your spoiled little princess ass always has to say to him. Nothing new, the same fucking boring drag. “That’s all you got? Come on, you can do better than that.”

“Let go of me, Jeno.” You say sternly, with a serious tone. Failing to free yourself from his grip.

“Cover up slut.” He spits, nostrils flaring. “Prancing around showing everything off like that for free? Who fucking raised you?”

“What’s your fucking problem?!” 

“Hey uhh,” Haechan clears his throat, taking light steps toward you with Renjun in tow. “Drink’s ready.”

The two peer back and forth between you and Jeno, worry etched across their faces. Repeatedly stealing looks at his hand cradled around your elbow. 

“Thanks.”

Before you can reach the flute of champagne and orange juice, Jeno’s arm shoots out faster than he can think. Stealing the glass from Haechan’s hand to pour down your chest and stomach. A round of shocked gasps coming from his friends and the high-pitched scream you let out snaps him fully alert. Taking a step back with wide eyes as you shake off the sticky liquid and proceed to glare at him with balled up fists.

“What. The. Fuck!”

An apology nearly rolls off of his tongue before Renjun rushes to clean off your stomach, shifty-eyed as he takes extra time to dry off your chest. “My new bathing suit!”

Jeno acted abruptly off anger and worry, mostly worried of what his friends could be wondering about finding the two of you like that. Clenching his fists, he bites back the apology that tries to push through.

“Dude, that was not cool.” Haechan snickers at him, snatching the glass back with a look full of disappointment.

“Yeah Jeno, grow the fuck up man.”

Ugh! Great. Now he’s made a fool of himself all thanks to you once again. Shaking his head, he catches your piercing gaze before squatting down to hide behind the bar. You knew good and well what you were doing stepping outside in some skimpy little two piece, dental floss riding up your ass. It’s not his fault that you get off on making him angry or whatever the hell it is that motivates you to piss him off.

“Don’t worry, you still look sexy as fuck.” He hears Renjun mumble. Grinding his teeth together as he continues to pretend to look for something to drink. 

“Yeah, here, take this one to Jaemin.” Haechan adds, handing you two champagne flutes. “Go get your boy.”

“You guysss,” you giggle playfully, shooting them both a wink before heading off.

“That was really low, even for you man.” Haechan leans over the bar just as Jeno stands up, distracting himself by reading the label on the bottle in his hold.

“Get over it.” He mutters, ignoring the judging looks his friends share. 

“He’s too old to be going through a hormonal imbalance.” Renjun whispers, nudging Haechan’s side to look over in the direction you headed off to. “Kind of funny how Jaemin’s the prey instead of the predator.”

“He doesn’t stand a chance.” Haechan snorts, taking a sip of his beer. “Wish I was dead meat instead, would gladly lay my body out like a corpse to be picked over.”

“What’s that about?” Jeno glares toward the corner of the pool you’ve sidled up to with Jaemin much too close by your side. Floating there, occasionally leaning against the stairs. Smiling and laughing all too much for his liking. The champagne flutes sitting emptied along the edge of the pool along with other bottles his best friends already finished off.

“They’re probably gonna fuck.” Haechan shrugs, speaking casually. “We all saw that coming.”

What?!

Jeno’s mouth pops open, quickly picking up his jaw, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand to properly look at his friend. “What the fuck do you mean by that?”

“Literally that.” Renjun adds, coating the glass in his hand with sugar along the rim before pouring in various shots of alcohol. “Good for her, she’s been trying to get inside of Jaemin’s pants for years. Wish it was me, but whatever.”

You have?! Since when!

Jeno quickly stands up straight, fists clenched at his sides. “Sh-she said that? She told you that?”

“Pftt, it’s obvious. She hardly even keeps in contact with any of us all year except Jaemin.”

WHAT?!

“Yeah, she’s helped him a lot through this break-up with Jini.” Renjun shrugs, mixing his drink. “But from what Jaemin showed me, they pretty much just flirt all of the time.”

“What?? Jaemin’s never mentioned her to me!”

“Probably because you hate her dude.” Haechan tips his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose to get a look at him. Cocking an eyebrow up with intrigue. “Anytime we so much as say her name you get all pissy and blow a gasket.”

“You’re worse than a girl sometimes.” Renjun snorts, joining Haechan’s side on one of the pool chairs under a canopy.

Okay. Valid. Maybe Jaemin would avoid mentioning you if that's the case. He works hard to keep this act up around his friends. Not that it is an act, he really does hate you..

But why would you fail to say anything?! You’ve never once told him you’re into Jaemin! Not that you would.. whore. 

“Dude, you okay? Why are you making that face?” Haechan laughs, pointing toward the frustrated wrinkles formed between Jeno’s eyebrows. “Look like you’re about to shit yourself.”

“Shut up.” Jeno waves him and Renjun off, stomping toward the house while sneaking a look back at you and Jaemin. There’s no fucking way you’re seriously trying to hook up with his best friend, right in front of his face! Even through the water he can see your hands groping over his thighs, lips only an inch away from each other. 

Who the hell do you think you are! Probably want him to suffer and watch you flirt with some other guy right in front of him. Not just any other guy but his best god damn friend. The one person he holds above all and trusts with his life. 

Haechan and Renjun think he’s too old to be acting like this?! If only they even knew what the hell you’re up to at your grown ass age.

Stomping inside of the house, he paces around the kitchen rubbing at his face. To think he had plans on taking the next step with you this summer. Of admitting something he’s not even sure he wants to be honest about anymore.

“Did the big pissy baby get overheated out there?”

Your voice shatters his stupor, twisting around to find you leaned over the kitchen island with a pleased shit-eating grin on your face. “What are you doing?” He asks flatly, charging to lean over the other side of the counter and meet you half-way. “Or, what do you think you’re doing, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re going on about.” You shrug, walking around him to get to the fridge. “Came in here to get Jaemin some ice, everything’s melted down in the cooler.”

“Bullshit.” Pressing against your back, he flattens you against the cool freezer door before you can get it open. “I’m not into this game you’re playing, so stop it.”

“Like I said,” you push back against him, groaning as he uses extra strength to keep you pressed. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“You don’t?” Curling a digit under the strap of your bottoms, he tugs until the material painfully stretches across your rim. Peering down and licking his lips at the way your hips jut back toward him. “This pretty flimsy poor excuse of a swimsuit wasn’t to impress me, was it?”

“Stop pulling at it!” Grabbing onto his wrist, you try to tug him off. Hissing at the friction caused against your core. “I’m serious Jeno! It’s expensive!”

“You know what else is?” Letting go of the strap to crack against your hip, he wraps around your waist and turns you fast. Manhandling you into a bent position over the kitchen counter. “What you owe me for that stupid little act out there.”

“Don’t! Jaemin’s waiting for me!” You wriggle, grabbing at the counter ledge to escape. Firm heavy hands settle against the end of your spine. Locking your lower half in place with his hips pressed securely against your backside.

“Being way too loud, you’re trying to get caught at this point.” Peering outside of the nearest window, his friends seem oblivious to anything taking place outside of drinking and splashing around. “What if Jaemin sees you like this? Acting like the filthy whore you are. Does he know that side of you yet?”

“Stop!” You writhe against him, squeezing your eyes shut as his nails trace down your back to the swell of your ass. 

“Answer me.” The warmth of his palms cup under your butt, shoving up until the fleshy skin folds over on your lower back. “Does he know?”

“No..” you mewl, grip on the counter loosening. Struggling to stay balanced on your tiptoes with shaky knees.

“Why not?” Jeno tuts, rolling his hips in a circle against your lifted bottom. “Only for me?”

“…mhm..” you admit, full of shame, dropping your cheek to lay flat against the cool marble of the counter. “Only for you.”

“If I leave you marked up right now..” he mutters, sucking in air between his teeth. Pulling off of you an inch to admire how much smaller his hands look trying to knead and squeeze all of your plump backside. “How will you explain what happened to all of your admirers?”

“Please Jeno, come on..”

“What are you begging for?” He says mockingly, digging his blunt nails deep enough to hurt but not leave behind more than faded indentations. “For me to fuck you right here?” Bending over on top of you back, he grabs onto your jaw to make sure your eyes find the window. “Want them all to see, don’t you?”

“N-no..”

“Why? Afraid they’ll find out what a slut you really are? After playing this fake innocent act all these years?”

“Jeno—seriously, this isn’t funny!”

“We both know,” dragging the tip of his nose down your cheek, he bites down on your jawline. Pushing off to pull your bikini bottoms to one side and expose your core. “You love being watched.”

It’s reminiscent of that first time he broke you down in front of all of your friends. Laying here, letting him have his way with you again, excited by the idea of getting caught. “Left me hanging yesterday..”

Squatting down to his knees, he cups your ass, slowly pulling you apart to get an up close look between your thighs. Wet warmth painted between your slit eagerly greets him, sucking in a long-winded breath. “Don’t tell me you’re this wet because of someone else?”

A pathetic sound comes out muffled with half of your mouth pressed to the counter. Shivering as he purses his lips and blows out soft breaths of air along your middle. 

“I asked you something.” Landing a hard smack down on your ass, he grips your hips to stay in place when they jump back.

“Only you.” You mumble quietly.

“Say that shit again, I want them to hear you.” Another rough hit jolts your backside. Bouncing against the counter, digging into your pelvis from the pressure you slam back down with. 

“Jeno..”

The backyard door creaks open, snapping both of your necks straight and jumping up to stand. Fixing your bottoms into place as Jeno curses and stands awkwardly by your side, left with no time to dig inside of his swim trunks and adjust himself before he spots the intruder.

Jisung’s dark hair bounces through the corridor to the kitchen not a second later, surprised to see you standing together in the kitchen.

“What’s going on here? You two fighting again?” Jisung rolls his eyes, pausing to take in the disoriented state both of you are in. “That’s weird.”

“What?” Jeno asks shortly, jaw clenching annoyed by the interruption. 

“Uhm,” blinking down toward the olders crotch, he quickly shakes his head and continues to walk to the bathroom. “Nothing.”

Waiting for Jisung to disappear from your line of sight, you let out a sigh. Nodding to the huge tent Jeno’s sporting in his trunks. “Might want to go take care of that before going back out there.”

“Aw man, fuck. Little fucker definitely saw that.” Jeno lets out a long-winded breath, banging the back of his head against one of the cabinets. “Come to my room later?”

“Can’t.” You say stiffly, pretending to ignore the throb between your thighs. “Already told Jaemin we could watch a movie together. Anyway, try not to cum inside of your shorts.” Without giving him a chance to respond, you rush back outside to curl up close to his best friend's side under one of the sun umbrellas. 

Jeno takes a few steps ready to chase after you, cursing out when his lower half brushes against the counter. “Fuck.”

He’d ignore how hard the veins lining his cock thrum, engorged and full of blood from the thought of finally getting some and wait a few more minutes until he goes soft, but you just look too damn good in that stupid flimsy bikini. Better than you should flaunting yourself for anyone other than him. This is the second time he’s had to jerk off thanks to you. How stupid of you to think this shit you’re pulling will pay off in the end, unless you’re looking to get fucked close to to death. Two can play hard ball, and he knows he can play much harder than what you’re able to handle.

“Whatever.”

♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡

“I’m always here for you Jaemin.”

A smile finally appears, ducking his face as he chuckles softly and reaches for your hand hanging by your hip. “You’ve been too good to me ever since the break-up. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, I’m your friend. It’s my duty to make sure that smile never leaves your handsome face.”

He pauses for a minute, thumb rubbing the back of your hand as he zones out and nods. “You are my friend. She never really liked that, said I’d call this a boys trip just to come out here to flirt with Mark’s cousin..”

A swell of hope crashes through your chest when his eyes lift to yours and he smiles large enough for the top row of his teeth to fully show. One of your favorite things about Jaemin, his blinding smile that you really would do anything to bring out. “Friends aren’t supposed to flirt, right?”

“I wouldn’t even know how to begin flirting.” You pout, exaggerating your blinks. “How would I flirt? Can you show me?”

A clear tinge of red rises up his neck, dropping his head back to let out a howling laugh, inadvertently squeezing your hand tightly. “The idea of you- of all people, not knowing how to flirt is too funny. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“I don’t see what’s so funny about that.” You smirk, leaning in to sway closer to him for your face to only stand a couple of inches apart. “Can’t you teach me how to flirt? I bet you’re real good at it.”

Jaemin staggers for a moment, smile fading slowly as he takes in your curious gaze. The glint in his gaze darkens, slowly dragging across your lips. “You really want me to show you? Not just bullshitting me?”

“Mhmm.” You nod, biting down a grin.

Clearing his throat, he straightens, releasing your hand to rest his arm above your head against the door frame to your bedroom. “Say, we just wrapped up a first date..” He hums, painting a scenario out for you without breaking eye-contact. “I walk you home, thank you for gracing me with your presence.” He huffs, lip lifting to one side holding back an amused smirk. “And then I stop to look you up and down, just like this.”

Slowly, long thick dark eyelashes take their time to fan down over his pinkened cheeks, tucking his lower lip in beneath his teeth as he passes over your chest. Licking the plumpness filling his red juicy bottom lip. “And I lean in close enough to feel your breath quickening, to watch your chest rise faster. Making it obvious that I can’t stop staring at you, can’t get enough of your beauty. Really make every second feel like minutes as I admire how gorgeous and sexy you are.”

His voice deepens to a low rumble, re-enacting everything he says until your backs pressed flat against the door, breathing shallowly, gone silent with evident awe all over your face.

“I don’t have to say much..” he smirks slightly, the standard traditional cute cocky and charming smirk he always pulls when getting his way. His hands lift to move a loose strand of hair behind your ear, intentionally slowly grazing the shell of your ear. Pleased by the obvious shiver that passes down your body. “I just..”

Taking one more step forward he meets you at eye level, dragging his fingers down your jawline to your chin to pinch, focusing on your lips naturally parting open for him, so inviting.

“Lick my lips,” and he does, dragging his tongue from one side to the other, gaze more sultry and hooded now. “And whisper right here like this..” only a hair’s breadth away, he whispers less than an inch away from your mouth. “And when do I get to see you again?”

Fuck. 

Ready to scream, you have to bite down on your tongue when he abruptly pulls away and shrugs, standing up straight. “Works every time.”

“Uhm,” sucking down a dry gulp, you nod rapidly, patting for the doorknob behind you. “I’ll definitely have to try that out sometime.”

Jaemin backs away, stepping backwards and shooting you a wink. “You’ll have to let me know if it works. Now get some rest, we have a long day by the pool tomorrow.” 

You’d swear he hasn’t stopped flirting given the way he spins around and watches you from over his shoulder still stuck in place against your door as if you’ve been hot glued there. May as well be, clenching your thighs in a deathgrip out of fear that the sticky heat pooling your underwear could trickle free. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You whine once he’s disappeared to the other side of the house. Letting out a long exhausted sigh, you quickly make to enter your room, reaching for the light switch as the door shuts behind you, coating everything in darkness. That’s strang—

“You can’t be fucking serious.” 

A roar full of anger charges at you, rasping deep before colliding with your chest, crashing your back against the opposite side of the door you were just fighting to free yourself from.

“Ah, fuck!” You hiss, reaching to rub the back of your head sure to have a walnut sized bump by morning. “Jeno?? Is that you?!?”

“Who the fuck else would it be Sherlock.” He rasps angrily directly in your face, lodging one of his thick forearms under your chin until you cough from lack of air.

“Wh-what the hell are you doing?!” You manage to squeak out, slapping his elbow. “Get off of me!”

“What the hell am I doing?!” He growls, nose digging against your forehead. “What the hell are you doing!!”

“Huh??”

“My best friend?!” Jeno’s screaming, crackling the louder he gets, jerking his arm against your neck to congest your air flow. “Please be fucking serious. I’ve had enough of this shit! You and whatever this is- it ends now.”

“Wh-what?!” You cough, clutching onto his muscular forearm with both hands, struggling to suck in large inhales of oxygen. “I said get off of me, you fucking dick!”

“God you won’t be satisfied until you fuck literally everyone.” Dropping his arm, he gives you no time to recover, manhandling you around to slam you chest first against the door. He scoots up behind you, slotting his covered lower half against yours. The familiar addictive warmth you’ve hungered for since last summer break throbs against your bottom, having to grind your teeth to control an onslaught of whimpers from giving away your arousal. It’s been hard enough to stop yourself from tapping at his door. Having to distract yourself with another cheesy Disney film to watch with Jaemin until you can’t fight sleep off any longer.

“You’re such a whore, fucking open up your legs for anyone.” Strong hands grip the backs of your thighs, slowly climbing up higher to cup the swell of your ass. “I don’t give a fuck who you fuck. Haechan, Renjun, you can even take Jisung’s virginity for all I fucking care. I’d expect no less from a whore like you.”

Pressing in, he flattens to your back, shoving his arm around your neck from behind, cupping your chin to turn your face to the side. “But you will not,” Jeno breathes heavily against your cheek, licking down to the corner of your mouth. “Fuck him.”

You know by now it’s better to stay silent judging by how riled up he already is after blue-balling him twice now. Rutting against your ass like some starved beast desperate to feed, fuck and kill.

But you both know the real reason you sneak around, fight in front of everyone else, taunt and torment each other. The real reason you glare at him from the corner of your eye and suck on his fingers in private. It’s a game for the two of you, and you’re just about ready to cross the finish line to wrap this up for good. Win or lose, you’re tired of playing.

“Oh yeah? And who’s going to stop me?”

Jeno’s mouth hangs open against your cheek, hot gaze burning down your face. “Why him. Why him out of everyone?” 

“I like him.” You admit, reaching back to dig your nails into his sides. “And I think he likes me too.”

“Fuck you.” He emphasizes with a hard thrust rocking your hips roughly against the door. “You’re only doing this to piss me off.”

“This is going to shock you but my world does not revolve around you.” You huff, smacking at his sides. “So full of yourself.”

“Maybe I am.” He grunts, bicep curling around your throat tighter, dragging his lips up to your ear. “And you? Wanna be full of me?”

Wet thirsty eyes roll up to meet his, slowly tucking your juicy bottom lip in to suck on. “Mhm..”

“Don’t play fucking dumb.” He jerks, squeezing his arm around your throat harder. “You know exactly what you’re doing to me.”

“To you? What am I doing to you?” You ask in a cocky tone, jamming your bottom against his groin. “Besides making your dick grow a couple more inches?”

“Best cock you’ve ever taken.” He reminds you. Breaking you down round after round last summer until you were acting brainless, spilling out nonsensical thoughts worshipping him for fucking you so damn well.

Best mouth too, you refuse to add, sleek gaze thinning on him expectantly. “And me? What the fuck am I to you?”

“My whore.” Biting down on your cheek, he tightens the chokehold on your throat even more. Fully stealing your breath and pulling tight until you’re perched onto your tippy toes. “Only mine, got that?”

This is really the foreplay between you, learning early on how much you enjoy being roughed up and dragged around. It’s your thing, what really brings your true self out. And Jeno’s the only one that’s ever picked up on what you really want in bed. How you dream of being fucked, what makes your cunt slick up. Never even having to ask or confirm if what he’s doing to turn you on is enough.  

All he has to do is remind you of how ashamed you should feel, how dirty you really are for giving it up to him so willingly. A little smack to your face, asphyxiating your lungs and spitting in your mouth, that’s all it took to have you groveling for more on your knees. Begging him to slap you with his long thick cock, literally drooling at the sight of it with your hands pressed together pleading for him to fuck your throat.

Each time you’ve hooked up repeats in his mind non-stop. No one else he fucks with back home matches up to how good you take it, how submissively you melt down at his voice. He can’t stop coming back for more, tingling at the thought of getting his mouth and hands back on your body. That’s why you always end up here together alone in a safe dark place only built for the two of you.

He’ll never admit how much this means to him, how much you mean to him. How much this turns him on, because part of him believes you have to know by now even if he doesn’t do a proper job of showing it. This, these intimate moments with you, bare naked shedding all your inhibitions away one by one, he wouldn’t trade this in for anything in the world.

“Y-yes,” you croak, snaking your fingers around his forearm to create an inch of space. “Yours.”

“Exactly.” He says proudly, licking across his upper lip. Forever and always his, because no one else will ever compare. Certainly not Jaemin, and no fucking bum that tries to earn your attention after him. 

The fuzzy look in your eyes that drives him mad sets off a coil in his stomach. Heat invading his chest as he looks over your swollen bitten lips, hazy gaze hooded by lazed eyelids making you even more seductive and enticing. “Made me wait so long for this, you know that.”

It’s a warning for what’s to come, landing a weighted slap down on your ass before he strips off the shorts you have on. Even through the minimal light entering your room from the window, he sucks in a breath between his teeth and gropes over your hips and thighs, scooping your ass to bounce against his palms. “Think you deserve to get fucked after the way you’ve been acting?”

“Y-yes..” you whisper shamelessly, glancing over your shoulder at him. “I deserve it, don’t I puppy?” A hint of playfulness in your voice lifts the corner of his mouth up, fast to shake off his smirk. Jeno’s jaw falls open, blinking furiously to ward off his shock. 

Nothing gets under his skin more than that bullshit cute nickname you use on him. Always at the worst times, sparking up annoyance and butterflies through his chest. “Don’t call me that.”

Dropping down to his knees, he wastes no more time to dig his face between your ass cheeks. Dragging the tip of his nose against your wrinkled rim, he breathes in deep knowing you hate when he does that. Or at least you pretend to by squealing and kicking your feet back at him. Mortified and having to look away when he spreads your ass apart to kiss up and down the crevice of your ass.

Tugging his shirt off, he gets back between your legs. Dragging his pouted lips between your slit, sucking small amounts of your arousal onto his tongue. He groans against your core, vibrating up to where you look over your shoulder at him waiting patiently for what he knows you want.

What you want and won’t get.

Pressing firm kisses to your clit and rim, he bites along the perk of your ass. Gently nipping at the fleshy skin, slapping your hips for your butt to ripple against his face. “Shaved your pussy all cute like that for Jaemin?”

A muffled sound of surprise gets lost in your palm, covering your mouth to hide your shock. “No..”

“Sure you didn't, baby.” Slowly standing back up he litters kisses up your back. Gathering your hair to one side to suck on your ear until you squirm and push against him. Kissing down your neck and biting at your shoulder blade before pulling off, he crosses your bedroom to sit on the edge of your bed. “Get your sexy ass over here and sit that pretty pussy on my cock.” 

Outstretching his legs, he nods his chin for you to move quick. Walking on trembling legs to quickly obey him, you move to stand in front of him and grab onto his shoulders. 

“Jeno..”

Bleary blown out dark irises peer up at you beneath a thick layer of eyelashes. Losing himself in the heat of the room and your aroused scents beginning to infiltrate the space. Tightening his lips, he adjusts to your hands snaking up his throat, jaw twitching as you dig your thumbs into his chin. “Are you still my puppy?”

Jeno wishes you’d let it go. One night a few summers back when you drank far beyond your limits and he found you in the backyard before you were able to cannonball into the pool. Dragging you back inside, he held your hair back as you emptied your guts and cried about ruining the night. It was a moment of weakness on his part, much like yours. Assuming you’d forget about everything that took place in that bathroom he soothingly rubbed down your spine and told you to stop whining. 

‘You haven’t ruined anything.’ No, just his heart and ego that have never fully healed since you entered his life. Not that you’re allowed to know any of that, God forbid he be honest even if you looked so cute as he cleaned off your face. 

‘You know,’ you mumbled, relaxed against the wall as he dabbed your cheeks free of tears and remnants of alcohol. ‘You’re such a puppy.’

Jeno squinted at you, snickering under his breath. ‘Whatever that means.’ Ignoring the ache in his chest, he dampened a cloth and wiped down your neck. 

‘Means you’re so cute.’ You whined, weakly smacking his arm. ‘My cute puppy, making those sweet eyes at me.’

My cute puppy. His hand hing mid-air, wide eyes full of surprise. You’re never this nice to him, or this drunk..

‘How much did you drink?’ He scoffed, swallowing the tightness away from his throat. ‘Too much.’ He whispers.

‘Mmh.. you’re right. Way too much.’

And yet, the smile creeping onto your face right now makes his stomach ache. Grinding his teeth together as he steadily grabs you by the waist and you lowers onto his thighs to seek the fat tip of his cock, hissing as it snags along your wet pulsating entrance. 

“Hurry the fuck up and quit pissing me off.” He growls, slapping your ass hard enough to echo through the room. 

Taking a deep breath, you have to reach down to guide him in. Stomach sucking in as the familiar stretch begins to split you open. It’s been so long, too long since you’ve taken not only Jeno’s cock, but a cock this fucking thick in girth. Squeezing your eyes shut as a cry pushes out from your lips and the thick head of his size inches in, lighting a fire under your cheeks as creamy wet sounds gush their way up to your ears.

“I don’t have all fucking day.” He snaps, slapping your buttcheeks with both hands even harder than before. Forcing your posture to slump forward, other hand shaking on his shoulder as another inch pushes in. Already wasted enough of his time with whatever that was, probably just trying to manipulate him to get your way again.

“S’too big—“ you whine frustratedly, wrapping both of your arms around his shoulders.

“Never too big for you,” Jeno exhales deeply. “Sluts like you only know how to get fucked.”

Taking it upon himself, he wraps around your waist good and tight, bucking his hips up and pushing you down at the same time to fully take in each and every inch. Burying himself deep inside of you to the brim, coercing your wet arousal to drip down his length and pour down heavily onto his sack. He curses between the strangled scream you wail out, wedging each inch in as deep as possible. Dragging his wide length against your tight hot walls with smooth rolls of his hips grinding upward. “Fuck that’s it.”

“S’too much.” You repeat stupidly, already fucking babbling. Drooling onto your chin and rolling your eyes shut above him. Nails drag down his shoulders to his biceps, circling his arms for something to keep you grounded to earth, fearful you’ll float away as pleasure builds up higher and higher. 

Winding his arms around your waist tightly, he sucks on your neck. Licking at the sweat pooling its way down to your collarbone. Grunting against your skin hot and heavy as you start to relax around him after minutes of grinding his cock between your thighs. “Take it.” He whispers along your throat, biting down hard enough to leave marks. Slamming his hips up harshly, colliding your ass down on his upper thighs and filling the room with the sound of your damp wet skin clapping against his.

Lack of response drives him to pummel inside of you even faster. Bracing his hands under your thighs to lift you up and down his size easier, he begins to hoist your limpened weight up and down. The stretch around his cock snapping with each pull out to the tip, dragging deliciously through your clenching heat. Wet pussy slickening up and drenching his cock making each glide inside of you easier than the last, clinging sticky arousal down to his balls. The skin between his own thighs sloppy with it, one of his favorite parts about fucking you, always amazed by how wet you get for him. 

“Always so wet for me.” He pants already out of his mind, exerting more energy to mold your cunt to the shape of his cock. Providing noisy loud squelches with each penetrating hit of his length. It’s always so good with you, the best he’s ever had, as if he’d ever dare to admit out loud. Lost so deep in the heat of your eager tight pussy, he has to bite down on his lip hard enough to draw blood to not shout out something he could end up regretting later.

“Fuck you baby, so good for me aren’t you.” He opts to say instead, gaining speed as he moves back to your waist and pulls you down onto his cock faster. His length grazing against each nerve that shoots straight through your limbs, the clap of your ass hitting his thighs deafeningly loud throughout the room. 

“Uh-huh,” you croon, panting wildly against his shoulder. “Deep, so deep.”

“Yeah,” Jeno grinds hot against your most shallow area, the tip of his size kissing your womb. “Greedy pussy wants me even deeper?”

“Y-yes,” it’s impossible to ask for more, drooling down to your chest. Jolting on his cock like a rag doll. The aggressive pace he’s fallen into bouncing your breasts against his chest, creating more heat and sweat all over your bodies. “Please!”

So perfect how much you cry and moan for him, always perfect and good for him. Rasping his own groans out as he possessively grasps your hips and squeezes onto your ass. Hitting you with another succession of slaps before slamming you down onto his complete length. “Fuckfuck!” 

“Pleasepleaseplease!” The combination of your pleasured moans sets something off inside of him. Unleashing his need to feel every part of himself buried inside of you. Reaching to secure your thighs around his waist, he shoves off the bed. Knees bent as he uses all of his strength to stand up and haul your body up in the air with him. The arms around his neck scurrying to wrap around him tighter out of fear of being dropped.

Alarmed, frightened eyes shoot open to look at him, head shaking before his arms flex out using each and every muscle to impale you down onto his cock once again. Ripping an orgasm right out of you before you can even fully process that he’s standing up carrying all of your body as if you weigh nothing. Rushing a powerful orgasm out of you that spills down to his shins, splattering on the ground around his feet. “Fuck—yes!”

Letting out a deep guttural howling moan, he chases after release. Unbothered by the despaired cries you continuously let out as he fucks your sensitive pussy wide open. Bicep muscles flex large around your thighs and torso, dripping with a sheen of sweat the more he uses his lower half to push up and bury his length deep inside of you with each barreling thrust. Pliant like a good little doll as you get thrown up and down on him the exact way he likes. Aroused all the more by how your cunt still squeezes around him despite the sad broken little pained ‘ow’s’ you whimper between moans. Clumsily still trying to keep your hold on his shoulders through each sloppy wet stroke. 

“Fuck!” All Jeno can do is let out strings of curses. The blunt tip of his cock hitting deep enough to prod the skin under your navel out in this position. Deep, hard, so tenderless, evoking rough brutality with each violent pounding collision of his thighs crashing against your ass.

“Puppy,” you squeak, unable to form a coherent sentence or thought anymore. Toes curled up around his lower back as your thighs weakly flex to keep a tight grip around his waist. “H-hurts!”

The complaint only fuels him to fuck you faster, blinking away the sweat rolling into his eyes, his hold on you tightens. Crashing your weight down on his length to take take and take. All your good for, to take his cock like the fucking whore you are. Merciless with each slap of his full balls landing against your ass. “Gonna fuck you full of cum,” he says with a tight-locked jaw. Spinning on his foot to fall onto the bed with you.

Without missing a beat he reaches for the backs of your knees. Changing the position to keep his cock buried all the way inside of you. Pushing your legs toward your chest and slapping the sides of your thighs in silent demand to hold them in place. “Exactly like that, good little slut.” He says gruffly, hips returning to full on hammer inside of you without anything to stop him. Not the way you cry and scream, letting your legs flop out weakly from your hold when he brings down his thumb to rub at your clit meanly. Scorching another orgasm to flood throughout your body.

“Jeno! P-please! Enough!” 

The hot wrap of your pussy around his thick girth is too good to stop. He’d fuck you everyday, keep you sat on his cock even when he’s busy. Trained like his good slut to be ready anytime, anywhere, at any given moment. Drooling down your neck exactly like this, eyes fluttering open and shut as if you can’t believe this is really happening. Chest bouncing up and down so hard, hitting the underside of your chin. The arch in your spine is painful at this point. Struggling to not allow another orgasm to roll through your body as you lay there in defeat and let him have his way with you.

Curling a hand around your throat, he grabs onto one of your floppy legs, throwing your calve onto his shoulder. Drawing out to the tip of his length, he sucks in a wet saliva-coated breath at the sight of your beat up pussy. Ripe and dripping for the taking, only for him. He feeds the entirety of his cock back inside your velvety soft wet walls. Dropping your jaw open to let out a silent cry as he full on rails your cunt with abandon. 

“Made to take my cock,” he groans huskily, throat burning from this workout of fucking you. Pushing his stamina to its limits. But he can’t stop, won’t stop his hips from slipping his cock in and out. Clutching onto your thigh to control your writhing hips that jump with every sharp thrust that shapes your insides to take only his cock. “Only mine.” 

Still gaining momentum, he fucks into you with inhumane speed when you shout that you’re gonna cum again. Garbled by the sobs you won’t stop letting out, sounding more like chanted prayers worshipping the way he fucks you. Hips slap down against your thighs vigorously, fat cock making sure to permanently destroy your pussy, playing out the loudest wettest sounds with each penetrating hit.

“Oh God!” You helplessly cry out loud, back bowing upward. Shooting pain from your lower back up your spine as another orgasm rains down on you. This one nearly shoving his size out from the force of your release. Stuttering his movements enough for wetness to squirt out around his cock, splashing all over his groin and thighs. 

“Fuck, so sexy.” He sighs, swiping down to where his cock disappears inside of you. “One more.”

“N-no! No more!” Overwhelmed by pleasure, you can’t even sob anymore. Too short of breath and dizzy, numb between your thighs as he pulls out completely and readjusts your legs to press down the fronts of your thighs to your chest. “Je-jeno..”

“Shhh, one more for me. Only me.” Bracing his hands on the backs of your knees, he shakes off the sweat dripping down his face. Shoving every inch of his length back inside of your swollen used up pussy. Grinding pointed and perfectly right against the spot deep inside of you, the special place only he’s ever been able to repeatedly reach.

In a blur he races to reach his release. Pretzeling your body in half with his knees lifted off the bed, fully mounted on top of you akin to a predator that’s successfully acquired its kill. Circling its prey with hungry ravenous eyes, licking at his canine teeth ready to dig in. He fucks you through each tear, each trickle of drool that slips from the corners of your lips, each pulsing painful grip your cunt gives his cock. Furiously digging his toes into the bed to bury his length to the hilt, his thrust grow sloppy. Grinding into you one last time as his hips stutter and the sudden mind-crushing weight of his orgasm slams into him like a car wreck. 

“Fuck, every drop,” he whines, hitting you with one more weak thrust as hot sticky semen floods your pussy. “All of it for you.”

Gasping through his orgasm, you blink the glassy wet away from your eyes. Sent over the edge again by the visual of his jaw hung open above you, filling you full with cum, warming its way through your twitching stomach. 

The weak orgasm that hits you still tightens your muscles around his length. Both of you hissing when he tries to pull his overly sensitive cock away from it, dropping your legs to rest on his hips. He collapses to your side, biting down on his teeth as he pulls out with a loud pop and cum follows after him, dribbling down to your ass and the bed.

“Puppy..” you whine desperately, continuing to tremble through the aftershocks of repeated orgasms. “Kiss me.”

His eyes widen upon your request, staring up at the dark ceiling, still trying to catch his breath. “What?”

“Kiss me, I want a kiss.” You whisper with less confidence, scratching at his shoulder. “Please..”

Jeno’s eyebrows furrow, eyeing you from his peripheral vision. “I should go to my room, clean off before I fall asleep..”

“What?”

Sitting up, he hops off the bed in search of his clothing. “Yeah uh, it’s getting late.” He mumbles out quickly, hopping one leg into his pants. “I’ll end up falling asleep in here if I don’t get up now.”

“Is that..” You sniffle, sitting up with your arms circling around your chest. “..a bad thing?”

“Well yeah.” Setting your dress onto the bed, he tugs back on his shirt. “What if someone sees me leaving your room in the morning?”

“Because that’s all you care about.” You nod, sucking in your lips to hold in a cry.

“We both care about that, pretty sure.”

“You don’t get it.” You snap, getting up to throw on an oversized t-shirt. “You don’t fucking get it. You never have and you never will!”

“Get what?” Jeno glances around one more time to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. Oblivious to the tears that continue to roll down your face as you storm past him toward the door.

“Where are you going?!”

“Leave me alone!” You shout, attempting to slam your bedroom door shut before rushing out down the hallway. Using his chest to halt the wood from meeting the frame, he follows after you, eyes wide and full of panic. 

“What the hell is your problem?!” He hisses, fully aware of everyone’s bedrooms that you’re passing by on the way toward the backyard. “Come back here! Let’s go inside!”

“I said leave me alone!” You scream deeply once stepping outside. Running past the pool toward the gate that leads out to the sand and beach. “Go away Jeno!”

“No! Come on! What the hell are you doing! It’s so late!”

“Then go away! Fuck off! God just fucking leave me alone!! You were going to anyways!”

“Stop!” Finally catching up to you, he latches onto your arm halfway through the sand. Toes burying into the now cooled off grains that scratch and soothe his skin at the same time. “Let’s go back inside, right now!”

“Why! You don’t fucking care.” You spit out, snatching your arm away. “Don’t fucking touch me, please! Leave me alone!”

Jeno’s jaw hangs loose, staring at you with a look full of confusion and disbelief. “We were having a good time—I don’t get it, what the hell—“

“You were having a good time.” You bark, shoving at his chest. “You.”

“Is this about him? Is this about Jaemin?”

“You’re un-fucking-believable, you know that?!? Ugh! I’m such an idiot! All of this time I’ve wasted on your ass!”

“What are you yelling about?!”

“Do you even know! Do you even have a damn fucking clue how many times your friends have tried to fuck me! And I still choose you!” Digging through your hair in a furious rage, you bellow out a scream between a sob. The sadness you’ve pushed aside consuming your anger as tears push out in rivlets. “You don’t get it! And I’m the dumb idiot that held onto hope that you would..”

“Why are you telling me this?! To piss me off even more!” Jeno’s fist clench, jaw locked tight at the mention of his friends. Who fucking cares if they all want to fuck you. They don’t get to! And that’s the point, you belong to him and only him. 

“Oh God,” the sound of waves crashing against sand behind you only spins your head around faster. Trying to fully snap out of every thought and concern you’d locked up because you just liked him too damn much. “I’m gonna be sick. I can’t believe I—I did this to myself. That I let you do this to me!”

“Do what to you?!” Jeno wishes you’d spit it out already. Rubbing at his temples with his thumb and ring finger, he thinks about earlier. The way you were flirting up a damn hurricane with Jaemin. “If you want to be with him, fucking say that! Stop dragging me around—“

“Dragging you around?!” You cut him off, shouting nearly demonically. Grabbing your own throat out of shock at your gravelly tone. “You have the nerve! The fucking gull to corner me every chance you get and tell me I am dragging you around?! Oh my God.”

“Listen, you need to calm down.” Holding up his hands as a sign of peace, he startles and jumps back when you slap them out of your way.

“No!” The corners of your lips drag down more, sucking up the tears that won’t stop. Wet sobs mixing between your struggling breaths. “I’m so so stupid. All of this time, so stupid. Wish I hated you so fucking badly.”

“You do..” he should shut up at this point. But he can’t, much like vomit, speech continues to spew from his mouth despite his mind insisting he shut up. “You do hate me. You hate everything about me.”

“Yeah.” Scrubbing your closed up fists down your cheeks, you glare at him with the most pained expression he’s ever seen on your delicate face. Ripping right through his chest with the lack of hope left in your gaze. “I hate this. Hate how I fall for you so easily.”

Jeno’s mind seems to finally win, digging his hands into his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to grab you. He listens, sealing his mouth shut to finally listen.

“Hate when I feel your eyes on me when you think I don’t notice you. Hate how I have to pretend your stupid immature jokes aren’t funny. Hate when I do find you watching me, and you look away, even blush and try to play it off. How pretty your eyes look when they disappear when you smile. How stupid you look coming out of the pool with your messy hair sticking up every direction. How you sing along to all of my favorite songs and ruin them for me.” Letting out a long sigh, you cross your arms to hug your chest, shivering from the cool breeze that builds the longer you stand there. 

“I hate how I smile when I see a new text from you. How nice you smell when you shouldn’t, how your clothes always feel softer than anyone else’s. Hate the way you play guitar, how you pretended to yawn during that sappy romance movie we watched last summer when you were actually trying not to cry. Hate how you always play with the beach dogs by barking back at them with your tongue hanging out.”

Jeno can feel the warmth gathering behind his eyes, desperate to pull a yawn right now for the same reason he did while watching Silver Linings Playbook last summer. He pulls at the inside lining in his pockets, biting down on his lip, blinking rapidly.

“But mostly, I hate myself, because I tried so hard.” You blink a fresh cascade of tears, bringing your hands up to hide your face. “I tried so hard to pretend to hate you, to avoid this, to not get hurt.”

His mouth opens to speak, throat locked tight by invisible chains that squeeze around his vocal chords. “I—“

“You don’t care.” Shrugging, you wipe at your face and step around him. 

“Wait! No—“ scrambling to stop you, he wraps around your elbow. Practically losing his balance in the sand to stop you as his feet dig in for a better hold.

“Leave me alone!” You plead, ripping your hands free of his hold. “Please. Please do this one thing for me, for once.”

As much as it aches and pinches between his chest, he drops his hands, fingers twitching by his hips to stop you. 

Dropping your head back, you aggressively wipe at your eyes, turning away from him without another look.

Standing there with his feet surrounded by cooled sand, he watches your figure grow smaller and smaller until you disappear back inside of the house. You don’t want to be around him right now.. he needs to understand that. 

Tomorrow. You can talk about this tomorrow when you’re both feeling more level-headed and have had time to cool down. Sinking down to his knees, he pats over the footprints you left behind. Squeezing his eyes shut as the tears he held in finally find an escape and burn down his cheeks.

This feels wrong, in his heart all of this feels so wrong. But for once he’ll do as you say and leave you alone..

Tomorrow, he’ll fix this.

♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡

Sleep never comes. 

Not even counting sheep or chewing down melatonin gummies made a difference. Jeno couldn’t stop thinking about the way you cried and screamed, threw him off and ran away.

You just needed to cool off. The two of you always fight, it’s what you do, and then you fuck and everythings fine again. This fight was different, more intense and left him feeling guilty. With bloodshot eyes he stared at the ceiling for hours thinking of all the different ways he could explain himself to you.

He had fully intended to confess his real feelings to you this summer. Even if it led to getting egg smeared all over his face, embarrassment and rejection. Not as if it’d be anything new, you love to humiliate him..

It’s still early, but he can’t take it anymore. The sound of pots clinking and dishes clattering from the kitchen gets him on his feet. If the guys are already awake and being noisy, you’ll follow in no time. He has to talk to you even if you haven’t cooled off by now..

Pacing in front of your door, he chews at his fingernails. Biting them down to the skin until a few feel raw and sore. He’s psyching himself out, building up the fear of what will happen after he knocks on your door.

“What’re you doing?” Jaemin groans, draping himself against the wall in only his boxers. Eyes puffy and hair sticking up in every direction. “Why are you walking back and forth out here?”

“I’m uh,” Jeno runs a hand through his hair. “Gonna make some coffee, wanted to ask if she wants any.” Coming up with a fast excuse, he points toward your bedroom with his thumb.

“Didn’t she leave already?” Jaemin yawns, rubbing and slapping his face to wake up.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I woke up to pee a few hours ago,” Jaemin yawns again, shaking the sleep away with wide wet eyes. “She said bye, had her luggage.” He shrugs. “Something about having to head home early.”

“What??” Jeno freezes, quickly turning to your door to shove it open. Everything’s gone, the beds made, the closet open and emptied. All of your belongings are gone, as if you hadn’t just occupied the room mere hours ago. “Why would she..”

“I don’t know,” tapping his head against the wall, Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him. “Can I ask you something?”

“What??” Jeno’s still in a panic, pulling at a chunk of his hair with a distressed appearance. Why the fuck would you leave?! Without even telling him??

“You know, like, years ago? That one time we were all playing chicken.” Jaemin asks quietly, morning voice still thick and raspy from lack of use. “I thought..” he laughs softly, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I thought—but you know, when it was your turn..”

“What about it??”

“Obviously all of us thought it was uh—you know,” he coughs awkwardly, rubbing over his bare chest self consciously. “Hot. I’ve been with Jini all these years, but I guess I’ve sort of had a small crush I’ve been ignoring ever since that night..”

Jeno stops pacing in front of your door to glare at his friend. A befuddled expression skewing his face. “What are you trying to say right now?”

“You see, you’re my best friend.” Jaemin straightens up, standing up straight, blinking his eyes open. “Even so, I know to mind my own business but..”

“Spit it out Jaemin.”

“Do you like her?” He squints, lip trembling as if he’s too nervous to even ask. “It’s just..”

“I do.” Jeno says between gritted teeth, holding in his breath to calm down. “I do, and I messed up everything. I fucking��fucked everything up.”

Jaemin nods, patting him on the arm. “Maybe you did, but Laguna isn’t that far of a drive from here.” Adding a nod of encouragement, he squeezes Jeno’s shoulder. 

“But..”

“Don’t bring my car back with an empty tank.” Jaemin smiles, motioning for his friend to head out. “Keys are on the kitchen counter.”

Jeno stares at him for a moment, wondering how Jaemin figured everything out. Mildly guilted by the fact that he’s never shared his feelings for you with him.

“Go.” Jaemin smiles, nudging him further down the hall. “The bus to Orange County doesn’t take that long.”

“I’ll explain everything later.” Jeno assures, throwing an arm around Jaemin before running off toward the kitchen. He hasn’t even had time to shower, eat, drink any caffeine. The anxiety rising in his chest lifts his feet off the ground, quickly waving off his friends that yell at him to slow down as he races past them and snatches up the keys to Jaemin’s jeep. 

There’s no time to waste, assuming that you’re on your way home, he runs to start the car's engine up. Pure adrenaline sets his foot on the gas before the jeeps even had enough time to warm up, rushing out of the streets to get on the freeway.

He hasn’t thought this through at all. Never even been to your house or visited your city once before. What if you don’t want to see him? This will all be a waste of time. 

But he has time to waste on you, he wants to fix this, needs to talk to you. Needs you to know how he really feels about you. Last night was more overwhelming than he had anticipated. 

He tries and tries so hard to read you, figure out what’s going on in your head. To know if you even see him as more than a quick and easy way to get off.. 

What if you tell him to fuck off? Leave you alone like you screamed at him not even more than 10 hours ago..

It’s all he can think about on this quiet long drive. Fighting off his emotions and guilt-ridden conscience that continues to replay your tearful eyes. Alone with his thoughts again, his heart that screams out your name.

“This has to be it.” 

‘The big house in the middle of the street with a dusty pink roof, you can’t miss it.’

That’s how Mark described it over the phone when he pulled out of the driveway and realized he had no idea where exactly you live other than knowing you’re somewhere out in Laguna. 

‘And the mailbox, you can’t miss the mailbox. My aunt’s like a hippie, she built it herself to resemble a birdhouse.’

Yup. There’s the cute dusty rose mailbox your mom must have made. He nods, messing with his messy head of bed hair that he had no time to even bother fixing before rushing out of the summer house. The drive took nearly 4 hours without traffic. Maybe your bus beat his time, he should ring the doorbell.. 

God, what if your mom answers?! Or worse, your father?! He really didn’t think this through. He could call you, but what are the chances you’ll even answer him right now. 

“I’m such an idiot.” He sighs, sitting down on the steps in front of your house. 

Maybe this was a mistake, choosing to impulsively run after you. He fucked up badly, and there’s no way to prove that to you now. Jaemin would treat you way better than he has, he can’t even be upset about it either. He knows his best friend well enough to know he’d worship at your feet probably even worse than he did with Jini. You deserve to be adored and loved.. all he’s ever done is shown you hatred. 

“Jeno?”

The sound of a car driving off follows, lifting his gaze to find your confused expression looking back at him as your driver pulls off. He did make it here before you..

“What are you doing here.” And you don’t sound happy about it. Speaking with a stiff tone and lack of curiosity, voice laced with anger. Why would you be happy to see him? He couldn’t have really expected that, even if he hoped for it.

“I, uh,” hopping to stand up, he pats off his jeans. Clearing his throat to ward off the tremble that passes through his vocal chords. “You left.”

Looking over Jaemin’s jeep, you squint, glaring back and forth between the car and back at him. “Did you drive here all the way from Santa Barbara?!”

“Yes.” He says clearly, hands fidgeting by his hips.

“Why.” The stern tone you speak with fails to waver, only emphasized by your stressed features. “Why are you here, why would you do that. And by yourself?! You barely leave the West side! All you ever do is talk crap on the OC. Why would you make this long drive here all by yourself—“

“Because!” He interrupts abruptly, chest tightening up the more you rant at him. “You left!”

“So?!? Why the hell do you care!”

“You—you didn’t give me a chance—“

“Give you a chance??” You repeat in disbelief, eyes blown fully wide. “A chance? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I wanted to let you cool off! So we could start over and talk and I could tell you,” he chokes up, staggering back from foot to foot. Air becomes harder to swallow, shrinking in on himself when you interrupt him again, shouting to the high heavens.

“Talk about what! You said enough last night! Made it pretty fucking clear to me that this is a waste of my damn time! You can’t stand me, think I’m disgusting, clearly just fucking used me!”

“That’s—that’s not true.” He swallows, reaching for his throat. “You, you ran away!”

“And you let me.” With flared nostrils, you shoot daggers straight through his chest. “You think.. you can just show up here, at my fucking house? And what? What do you even still want from me? Came here to get your one last fuck in? Kick me one more time straight through my chest to make sure I never breathe again?”

“I let you say your piece yesterday.” He whispers, unable to meet your gaze. “And you don’t hate me.”

Letting out a short tired laugh, you slump into yourself. Shaking your head in pure disbelief. “Is that it? You won alright. I don’t fucking hate you.”

“Then I did win.” He nods, forcing himself to meet your rage filled gaze. “Because I’ve never hated you.”

“What? You’re going to tell me you’ve liked me all of this time? That you’re just an immature asshole with zero communication skills?” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest angrily.

“I think I liked you before you ever even noticed me..” he admits feebly, lifting the balls of his feet off the ground to stand on his heels. The same anxious habit he’s had for years. “I should have told you, I know. I should have ended this thing we had going on and been honest with you. I have no excuse for my behavior..”

“You really expect me to believe you now? When you could have done something about this last night? When I poured my heart out for you?” As dramatic as you sound, he can’t fault you for it. You have every right to be as angry as you are. He’s only surprised that you haven’t reached out to slap him across the face yet.

“I’m a coward.” Taking a long deep breath, he instinctively clutches at his chest to calm his speeding heart rate. “After all this time, I never thought that you’d be the first one to confess. I always thought it’d be me, and I was ready to this summer. I know it’s selfish of me, but with you moving away for university next year, I thought..”

“Thought what?”

“That we could—“ Jeno can feel the burn behind his eyes, blinking rapidly at the moisture that’s coated his iris. Gnawing at his trembling lower lip to keep as much of a confident facade as he can. He stares ahead, time standing still as he takes in your face. The furrow between your eyebrows softening, the tension at the corners of your mouth dissipating. Even now he’s afraid of losing you, but hasn’t he already? Does he have a choice besides to let you go now?

“Jeno.”

“We could try hanging out, beyond summer vacation. That I could take you out finally, and maybe even ask you to be my girlfriend.” His eyes blink shut on that last word, digging a hand into his pocket to wrap around the small velvet bag crushed inside there. “Only if you’d want that..”

Opening his eyes, he can’t stop the few tears that trickle out. Slowly blinking at the wetness clumping his eyelashes together. “Only if you want to be mine.”

It was never supposed to be this way. Standing here before you lacking the right words to say, failing to his own fear of rejection. “I’ve never hated you.” He nods, patting his upper thigh nervously. “And I’m sorry for pushing you away when I should have been the one on my knees for you.”

Redness paints the whites of your eyes, shaking where you stand with your arms circling around your waist. He’d reach out to replace them if you’d let him.. wrap you in the tightest hug, chest to chest, pulse to pulse. “And I’m sorry that I came here to do this but..” dropping the velvet baggy from between his fingers, he steps closer to you. Dragged closer by the imaginary weight of the light object that holds all his deepest secrets and fears. “I’m not really sorry that I did.”

“Jeno..”

“You deserve to know that I love everything about you.” Wiping at his cheeks, he lets out a pitiful laugh. There’s nothing he can feel ashamed of anymore, and it took this moment to realize that. He had to steal Jaemin’s jeep, had to drive 20 miles above the limit, had to rush here for this. Because this wasn’t how he had planned for this summer to go. 

You were supposed to have the biggest smile on your face thanks to him, but now here you are, crying again. Tracks of tears staining your cheeks, swelling up your eyes that haven’t had time to fully recover from all of the crying you did last night. He doesn’t deserve to hold pride or carry on a false sense of strength anymore.

“I really fucked up, I think..” tugging the velvet pouch out of his pocket, he holds it out for you. “I think that uh, I wanted to be what I thought you wanted. And I was wrong, I was so wrong. I lost myself a little there when I heard you talking to Jaemin, I got jealous.”

“Jeno,” taking a hold of one of his hands, you only seem to cry harder. Drawing him to stand even closer to you. “I wanted you to be jealous, I wanted you to care about me.”

“Might be useless to say this now, but I care about you a lot.” Letting out a sigh of relief, he sets the pouch in your hand. “Even if we end things for good, I want you to know that this always meant something to me. That I’ve always liked you and hoped for more. That I am your puppy.”

“You’re not fucking with me?” You ask, pouting sadly and testing the weight of the pouch in your hand. “What is this?”

“Open it.”

“I’m scared.” You sniffle, hands shaking as you reach for the pouches opening.

“I know you’re going to university up North after summer..” Jeno sighs, anxiously scratching the back of his neck. “And like I said, I had plans to change things between us this summer..”

“Jeno? What is this?” You break into a smile, a new round of tears trail down to gather in drops at your chin. “You didn’t..”

“Because, I really like you.” Clearing his throat, he spreads out the necklace chain that you’ve taken out onto your palm. Swiping the tip of his finger across the engraved writing on the back of the dog paw charm. “I don’t know, you might forget about me after this summer. It’s fine.” He shrugs to seem calm. Not actually fine with the idea of you erasing the memory of him. “But I wanted to give you something to remember me.”

“You got this for me?” 

“I don’t know if you remember that night..” he nods, tight-lipped. “You drank too much,” picking up the charm, he lifts the piece of shining jewelry closer to your eyes. “Anyway, it’s just uhm...”

“I do, I remember.” You struggle to hide a smile, tracing over the words that read back ‘if lost, return to owner’.

Jeno frowns, itching to clean the tears off of your chin before they fall and land on your chest. Aching to find the right words that could ease your pain. 

“It’s not much, I know..”

“I love it.”

“Do you?” He sighs nervously, unclasping the necklace to chain it around your neck.

“Am I your owner?”

“..I want you to be.” His throat bobs up and down, gulping to soothe the dryness scratching through his throat. “I want to be yours.”

“So you’ve always liked me?” Losing the battle to hide your smile, you bite down on your lip. Sweeping away the mess of tears continuing to run down your face. “When you say you’ve always liked me..”

“Ever since the first summer at the beach house when I called you cute.” 

“Even after I was grossed out?”

“Even after you were grossed out.” Laughing it off, he takes a hold of your hand with a raised eyebrow. 

“Jeno, I hate you, you know that right?”

“You know that I love that, right?” He asks in return, taking the chance to cup your cheeks and clean off the residue of tears. “It’s our thing.”

“It is our thing..”

“So, what do you think?” Biting at the insides of his cheeks, his smooths his free hand down the side of your neck. Eyebrows raised with wrinkles set between, hopeful that the smile forming on your face is a good sign.

“I think.. you drove all of this way to get here.. and my parents aren’t home.” Shyly smiling, you bury into his hold. Cheeks flamed with heat, demurely lowering your head to look at your feet. 

“They aren’t?” His eyes go wide full of excitement, softly caressing the skin lining your throat.

“Do you want to come inside?” 

“Am I about to see your room for the first time?” 

“If you want to, do you?”

“Of course!” Jeno smiles wide, clearing his throat and quickly reeling it in to appear cool. “I mean.. yes.”

“Of course you do,” you tease, nodding for him to follow you inside. “You likeeeeee me.”

Jeno waits for you to unlock the front door, bouncing back and forth on the heels of his feet. Normally this deep into a conversation with you, his throat would be hoarse from screaming by now. Instead he feels clammy, short of breath; nervously chewing on his lips when you turn to look at him and lean against the door frame. 

Relief rushes through him when you pucker your lips together and motion for him to come inside. Somehow this feels like a new start, what he should have made happen sooner than this. Stepping forward, he grabs onto your waist, palms damp as his nerves continue to short circuit.

“I do, I really like you.”

“You know.. I like you a lot.” You reassure, wrapping around his shoulders. “I waited for you even after all of my friends told me to give up and move on.”

“You told your friends about me?” 

“Don’t act so surprised.” You snicker, tugging at a tuft of hair above his nape. “You’re kind of a big deal to me, but just so you know.. they all actually do hate you.”

Jeno blinks slowly, slightly offended and flattered. Admiring how much softer your eyes feel on him, lighting up at the inner turmoil appearing on his face. 

“You’ve got a lot of ass kissing to do.”

“Good thing I’m a pro at that already.” He winks, sinking into the way your fingers dance along the back of his neck. This really is different, even the way his heart races and his body reacts to you. But one thing that certainly hasn’t changed is his desires and incessant craving to be all over you.

“Kiss me.”

♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡︶♡

Patreon exclusive—> read here

[rafeplay]

trailer park trajectory

ft. jimmy x fem!reader

tags. daddy-daughter incest, smut, mention of vomit, mentions of pregnancy and abortion, anal, piv sex, creampie, daddy kink

note. not liking this but whatever who gaf! unedited per usual. feedback n rbs always appreciated :3

The year Jimmy spent with his high school girlfriend might’ve been the best year of his life. Man, he had it fucking cushty. He had a pierced ear and she had a bad boy fantasy, but Jimmy isn’t bad he is just a piece of fucking shit to be entirely honest. Columbine bad maybe. He’s sure any dentist would be delighted to drill the rot out of him, it goes deep.

She had lotion-smelling rich-girl skin and a velvet cunt, fit like a glove. All round and soft, shaped by a silver spoon. He liked her heated toilet and fluffy pillows and fuck-proof bed. He liked using her walk-in shower, body jets included, it felt nice to go to school not stinking of ammonia and wet dogs.

It was their senior year and he had never been particularly popular, maybe because of his shitty shoes and shittier attitude, but she liked him more than he ever liked her. He liked having something he couldn’t have. Jimmy liked that look on her dad’s face anytime he came over, somewhere between constipation and resignation. He had tried to talk it out with his daughter, but she was so hopelessly in love with Jimmy, stubbornly so, she seemed to take his flaws as a personal affront. It didn’t matter what clothes he wore, the bands he liked, his postcode—She loved him, trailer-trash scum and all.

Jimmy didn’t get it, but he wasn’t complaining.

Then she went and got knocked up. She spent prom night in the bathroom hacking up her guts. It was disgusting. She was disgusting; vomit caked around her pink mouth, face crumpled like a used tissue as she clung to the leg of that fancy tuxedo she got him. He couldn’t believe he had ever fucked her, wanted her, kissed her. 

Whether it was Jimmy’s or not it didn’t matter. She had something inside of her. He had fucked her and she had that thing growing, taking up space in her abdominal cavity like an alien parasite. He had fucked her and it was in there. At the time killing her crossed his mind, once or twice, thrice at the very most. Jimmy came over one day with a coat hanger and opioids from his mom’s makeshift pharmacy in the bathroom cabinet. He told her it was going to be okay, that she didn’t have to worry any longer. Unfortunately, that did not work out. She kicked and screamed and her parents came in and it was a big mess really. They found out with a little coaxing of course, as if the hanger wasn’t a big enough hint, and it was an even bigger mess really.

Paternal tests were taken so Jimmy couldn’t get out of it. He prayed every night to gods he didn’t even fucking believe in, took up Buddhism during the third trimester. Much to his dismay it wasn’t stillborn it was a fucking girl.

Before you were born, Curly had asked him several times if he was sure he wanted to be inside the delivery room. Obviously he fucking did not. Nobody wants to see their girlfriend’s fucking guts. No man should have to see a pussy that isn’t intact. But it felt like a dig at Jimmy, the implication being he wasn’t able to handle it.

(He threw up when he saw the epidural, passed out when she got split open in all the wrong ways.)

Her father pushed him out little by little, Jimmy was glad. Fresh out of the womb and you were living newborn life in circles Jimmy has never belonged, making connections with toddler oligarchs. You didn’t need him and he didn’t want you. What was the point of sticking around? Parenting is not his forte, children are not his niche, in fact Jimmy would prefer for them to be kept fifteen feet away from him at all times. They’re leeches - eat your food, drain your savings, complicate your sex life, and worst of all they cry.

Jimmy finds no point in pretending to be nice, but to you he is deliberately cruel. Precise like he is cutting into you with a scalpel, surgeon-steady hands tearing you a new one. He doesn’t think you remember what he told you growing up—I never wanted you, I never wanted you, I never wanted you—because your laughter is light like the world has never been cruel to you.

“You can’t even do this for me, James?” She is using his full name so he ignores her, but she continues looking at him expectantly, wanting something from his empty pockets.

After all these years, his ex has still got it, that’s what money can get you. Her tits are in the right place, high on her chest, like the two halves of an evenly sliced melon were stuffed down the front of her blouse. Her ass is tight courtesy of her newest doctor. It could’ve worked out if she had just got rid of you.

Jimmy is sitting at his dining table rolling cigarettes to light on the stove. The table is round and white like a giant bottle cap, foldable to make extra space inside his trailer. He eats breakfast, lunch and dinner here, there’s no room for two plates. There is no room for you here or anywhere, especially no room in his life.

“She’s not gonna like it here.” He shrugs, and he’s not wrong. You’re going to go running for the hills the minute you step foot in the trailer park. “I heard they got nice things to do in England for Christmas.” Jimmy doesn’t have a single clue on what goes down in England and whether they’re even that big on Christmas.

“There’s nice things to do everywhere, but you won’t be there.”

“Why does it matter if I’m there?” When has anybody ever wanted Jimmy to stick around for longer than absolutely necessary? When has she ever wanted him to stay? Everything was made clear to Jimmy when she decided to have you, she didn’t want him then so why does it matter now?

“Because you’re her dad? If I needed a babysitter I could drop her to Candy, but she’s an adult and she doesn’t need one, Jim.” All of her friends have stripper names, Jimmy had told her that once. “I am asking you to spend time with our daughter, your daughter just for a week and you can’t even do that for me?”

“She’s a big girl now, sure she can handle a week on her own.” Jimmy does not look up once, you’re simply not interesting to him.

Defeated, she lets out a laugh. It’s half-aborted and exhausted. “Fine. Fine. Whatever. She’s never going to speak to you again when she finds out about this, I’m serious.”

“Good,” Jimmy bites out, gritting his teeth so hard they feel as if they’ve come loose.

“Don’t say that, Jim.” The toilet flushes and Curly steps out of the bathroom wiping his hands on a tea towel. “You should let her come over, he’s spending Christmas at my place this year.”

Oh, fuck off.

Fucking Curly and his hard-on for good deeds.

“I didn’t know you were here, Curly.” Her eyes light up because Curly is the saviour of the masses, he is modern day Jesus fucking Christ and Jimmy is useless as tits on a nun. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude, it’s different if it’s just Jim, but…”

“Course not, kid’s like family to me.” He smiles, all bright and cheery, a burning ball of gas that is blinding and clearly noxious because he’s making Jimmy sick.

“That’s sweet.” She sighs, her voice taking on a dreamy tone, head tilted to the side as she smiles at Curly sweetly. Like she wants to fuck him. “You’re sweet. Thank you, I didn’t want to leave her alone, but dad’s going to be in hospital and I just need her to have fun, I mean it’s Christmas.”

“I get it.” Curly pats her on the shoulder, she side-hugs him and Jimmy watches like some sad sack of shit cuck. “See you soon, alright? You take care now.” He sees her off like a gentleman.

“If you want her so bad you take her.”

“Who, the kid or her?” He nudges Jimmy playfully. It’s a joke, but Jimmy does not take it as one. He knows that Curly is perfectly capable of doing both.

Jimmy scoffs. “The kid—She’s not a kid, y’know?”

Curly waves his hand dismissively. “C’mon, she is to me.” Swooping in like a saviour and he hasn’t even seen you since your sweet sixteenth. Curly doesn’t know that you zip around town in a shiny sports car now, it whizzes down the road like a bullet. He doesn’t know how you wear your hair, what clothes you wear, that you drink and smoke and fuck.

Jimmy knows.

“Are you kidding, she’s big as fuck, man.” Jimmy makes a motion with his hands, gesturing to his chest lewdly. “Like her mom.”

“Knock it off, Jim.”

“There’s no snow this year because of global warming, Uncle Curly.” You’re as dull-witted as ever this evening, helping yourself to the expensive wine you brought along. Nothing on your plate has been touched apart from a single grape and half a cracker. “The ice caps are melting, we should cut down on our meat consumption.”

Showed up at Curly’s doorstep decked out in your tightest cashmere sweater and smallest skirt, no holes in your stockings and one of those expensive scarves that don’t leave fibres all over the rest of your clothes. An American Girl doll all grown up, dabbling in cocaine and Saturday night DUIs, mouth painted red like a whore. He doesn’t know what part of you is him, that’s something to be glad about.

Jimmy looked through the peep-hole and double locked the door.

Curly let you in because of course he did.

“Is that so?” He’s such a phoney, pretending to care about what you say while he loads his plate with glazed ham, lamb and turkey. “Don’t know if I’ll be able to do that if I’m honest.”

“Everybody knows that, you don’t have to sound so interested.” It’s just a little bit ironic that they’re getting lectured at by a girl who’s luxury is polluting the ecosystem. Curly could cut down on meat and Jimmy could start cycling everywhere he goes but that still wouldn’t make a difference. Your million-dollar smile is shedding microplastics, and you have an arsenal of beauty products with enough chemicals to run a fucking meth lab, but sure Jimmy is supposed to pedal himself half to death and Curly is going to eat tofu till he gags all in the name of the environment that you are using as a playground.

“Jim.”

“Sorry,” says Jimmy, who is very unsorry. It’s less about remorse and more about keeping peace. He knows how Curly gets, that he likes to keep things rainbows and sunshine, he likes apologies. Treats them as a currency of sorts. “Weren’t you in Paris last week?”

“Yes, dad, I was really stressed out about finals.” Right. Right. Jet-setting is amazing for the planet of course. “Mental wellness is so important, that’s why mom still looks so young, she looks good, right?”

“Her doctor did great.”

“That’s not funny, dad.” You wag your manicured little finger at him. He wants to break it. The irony isn’t thick, it’s suffocating. Recycle, reuse, reduce all you want but somewhere in the world there’s a girl like you with a closet full of clothes you have worn once to show off online, taking last minute trips to tropical destinations for spa treatments you could get down the road. “You get it don’t you, Uncle Curly?”

“Oh yeah.” Curly smiles, blinding. “You only live once, gotta make the most of it.”

“Exactly!” Your chirp, leaning towards him as you smile, equally as blinding. “It’s a balance, you have to enjoy yourself in moderation and recycle.” Moderation says a girl who hasn’t worn the same pair of socks twice, a girl whose hands have never touched a vacuum, and neither have Jimmy’s but for different reasons. You’ve never had to. He’s just lazy. “Oh, you know, Uncle Curly, I thought you would be married by now.”

Sheepish, Curly shakes his head, messing with the curls at the nape of his neck. “Not yet, not had any time really.”

“I think you’re a catch, Uncle Curly.” Little bit weird, but okay. Jimmy says nothing. “You have those big working-man hands.”

“Oh, I guess I do.” He laughs it off, but it’s taut, a faint tension in his square jaw.

“Yeah, they’re huge, Uncle Curly—Look!” You hold yours up, blinking at him expectantly to do the same, and Curly cannot say no. Not when it comes to Jimmy and not when it comes to you. “See!”

“I do.” Curly’s smile is doing its best not to fall.

“Mom always sets me up with, like, losers, I mean they don’t know how to do anything, I doubt they could screw a lightbulb in—I can’t screw a lightbulb in, but that’s not my job is it, Uncle Curly?”

“No, it’s not.” Your hands have intertwined, you’re giving him this smile that is making Curly uneasy, and Jimmy thinks for the first time that maybe you really are his.

“You turn forty next year, right?” You ask, a hidden intention behind your seemingly innocent question. Curly hums, nodding slowly. “We should get together if you don’t get a girlfriend by your birthday, Uncle Curly.”

Curly splutters, his words tangled in his throat, looking at Jimmy for help. “I don’t think—“

“No, really, I’m serious, Uncle Curly.” You squeeze his hand tightly, eyes sort of crazed. “I’ve got a thing for, like, blue-collar guys, and mom likes you and I mean your dad’s best friend so…” You’re a child who hasn’t been denied anything, you don’t know what limits are. “I just think it’s sexy, all that heavy-lifting and sweating, it’s so different.”

Jimmy snorts, the corner of his lip lifting in amusement. “You go right ahead, got my blessing for sure.”

“Jim,” he strains, jerking himself out of your grip, “I think you should get her home, had one too many drinks, didn’t you, sweetheart? It’s okay, happens to the best of us.”

“I’m fine actually, Uncle Curly, don’t worry about me—“

“Jim.”

Jimmy groans as he stretches, taking his time getting up and putting his boots on. “C’mon, we’re going home.”

“But dad—“ You’re pouting, that doesn’t work on him like it would your mother.

“We’re going home,” Jimmy tells you, making it clear there’s no room for any ands, ifs or buts.

“Are you going to murder me?” You blink rapidly as if trying to wake up from a nightmare. Jimmy’s rusty pick-up clunks and clanks down the narrow dirt path that leads home.

“Nah, not worth it.”

“Then why are you taking me here?” You take in the deconstructed metal structures, washing hung on lines that span the whole field. “This isn’t where you live is it, dad?”

See, this is why he used to babysit at your place. You’re a prissy piece of shit. He pulls up beside his trailer, undoing his seatbelt. Nails dig into his arm, you cling to him like you never have before. “Dad, I don’t want to sleep here!”

“Then sleep in the car.” Jimmy sighs deeply, inconvenienced by you like he has been his whole life, a faint vein throbbing in his forehead.

“Are you serious?” You hold onto him tighter. Fucking parasite. Ungrateful, good-for-nothing, la-di-da sorority girl. “What if get raped, dad? Do you want me to get raped, is that really what you want.”

Jimmy thinks on it, he smiles for the first time that night. “If it shuts you up, yes.”

“That’s awful! You’re awful!”

You end up following him inside, sniffling into the arm of his jacket and making little noises of disgust. “Can I sleep with you?”

“Will you be quiet?”

“I will, I swear, I won’t make a peep, dad.”

You do move a lot though so Jimmy traps you under his arm, it curls tight around your waist like a snake and you let out a soft whimper. “Stay still.”

“Sorry…” You whisper, and then you proceed to move again, the curve of your soft ass pressing against his crotch.

Women are either beautiful or not, and it might be bad to say—When has that ever stopped Jimmy before? You’re hot for a girl that’s supposed to be his daughter. Like Pornstar Barbie and Ken bumped plastic uglies to make you. It’s why he doesn’t fully believe it, you could be Curly’s for all he knows.

(The paternity test says otherwise. It says you are his. His baby, his parasite, his responsibility.)

“What are you trying, little girl?” Jimmy hisses in your ear, the hand on your waist slides up to grope your breast through the fabric of your silk nightie.

You don’t seem upset. Which is what a girl should be when her father touches her fucking tit. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit.” Jimmy squeezes tighter, fat tit caged in by his fingers like netted meat. “You’re soaking your panties over some fucked up poverty fetish, you weird little bitch.” Just like your mom and her weird fucking trailer park princess fantasy. Look where that ended up. “What did you say to him? Working-man hands,” Jimmy recalls, and he can’t help but laugh, it’s so fucked up. What is wrong with rich girls? “Uncle Curly didn’t want to fuck you so you’re trying it out on your dad, hm? Is that what this is?”

“You’re my dad…” He thinks something normal is going to come out of your mouth for a split second, and then you say, “Of course you were my first choice.” Defying all expectations as usual.

“I never wanted you.”

“Do you want me now?” You take his hand and guide it between your thighs, his calloused hand gliding over your rich-girl skin. It feels like hers used to.

”No.” Jimmy cups your cunt, the heat coming through your panties.

“You do… I can feel you, dad.” You wriggle your ass, hard dick slotting perfectly between the two peachy cheeks. “You want me.”

“I don’t want you.” He’s never wanted you, and he won’t start now.

“Then why are you touching me?” You sound all smug, and he’s glad he can’t see your stupid face in the dark.

“Because.” You’re another hole to fuck, that can never do a guy any harm. Jimmy slides your panties to the side, two fingers on your stiff clit, rubbing it from side to side.

“I can feel you.” You whine in your whiny little voice, and he’s too taken by the faint sound of your squelching pussy soaking his fingers to be irritated.

“Yeah.” His breath comes out sharp, grinding his dick into your ass while he gets you off. “Dad started thinking about spoiled little pussies, think you could help him out?”

“If he asks nicely—Oh!” You yelp when Jimmy flattens you to the creaking bed.

This is what you wanted, so it’s what you’re going to get. No milky-soft, sappy rich boy shit. Jimmy isn’t going to kiss your ankles and tell you that you look beautiful tonight, he’s going to fuck you how you want to be fucked.

“Look at you, you’re asking for it.” Jimmy drags the neckline over the swell of your full breasts, they droop slightly when out of their confines and that’s how you know they’re real. Porn tits.

You nod, wide-eyed and pouty-lipped. “I’m asking for it, daddy.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What the fuck. Daddy? God, he doesn’t even like being dad let alone daddy.

Beneath him, you shift, spreading your legs as far as they go and reaching down to part your plump pussy lips with your pink nails, it’s so soaked your fingers slip when you try to spread your labia. “I need you right here, daddy.

Jimmy’s cock throbs. Hard as a diamond. He fumbles to take off his boxers. Whatever you’re doing to him, fucking around with his brain like the little parasite you are, it’s downright wrong. He’s going to fuck right through you. A silvery strand of pre trickles down the underside of his shaft, his dick twitches, balls tightening the longer he watches your soft cunt flutter around nothing.

With your ankles behind your head you’re infinitely prettier. You part your whore lips and whine, still spreading yourself open for him, this time with the addition of your cute, bleached asshole. It’s puffy and tight and he wonders if you’ve ever let anybody in.

“Slut.” Jimmy spits on your cunt, it’s unneeded, but this is how real men fuck. His spit dribbles down your crack, wetting your tighter hole. “Is this what you wanted?” He asks, voice low and rough as he drags the head of his cock up and down your slit, swiftly sinking into your tight cunt. A single, fluid thrust and he’s buried to the hilt, pussy sucking him in because you’re greedy.

“Yes, yes—Yes, daddy.” Your fingers tremble as you hold yourself open for him, bottom lip jutting out as a moan builds in your throat. “I wanted it so bad, daddy—Needed you.”

You get everything you want. Of course you do. Here he is giving it to you, eating out the palm of your hand. Jimmy can’t think when you tighten around him, sweating like he’s in a fucking sauna. His mind blanks, driving his hips forward like nothing else matters, the mattress nags at him with each thrust, creaking noisily. Stupid rich-girl cunt taking every inch without hesitation, wet and warm and so fucking tight he can’t breathe.

Somewhere between each frantic, feverish thrust of his dick, Jimmy slips out and the fat head presses to your asshole. You don’t say anything. That’s like giving him the go-ahead. So when you are too busy whimpering about the loss of his cock in your stretched little cunt, Jimmy breaches your ass, the head pops in no problem. You’re dirty. You’ve been used over and over. So many dicks before him even in your tightest hole.

“You’re a slut,” Jimmy mumbles into your neck, hips jerking forward, pushing against the resistance your hole puts up until he is sheathed inside of you.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” You like it. You like the burn as he forces his way in, breaking open your asshole so no one else will ever want to use it.

“No you’re not.” All you do is take and take and take. Parasite. Spoiled. Stupid whore. He fucks into you, riled up by your fucking audacity. His daughter is a slut. All because he didn’t stick around, you had to rely on your incompetent airhead of a mother.

The fat tip of Jimmy’s dick pops out of your hole, you cry out, begging him to put it back in. Give it to me, dad. Please, daddy. I want it, daddy. Dad. Dad. Dad. I want it now. Daddy. You don’t even know how to say please, he doesn’t think you’ve ever had to say it.

“Shut up,” Jimmy groans, face strained like he has a terrible headache, “shut up.”

You pout, that’s all you know how to do. Want. Want. Want. You’re holding yourself open for him still, he can see your insides. Jimmy guides his cock back up, slapping it against the puffy rim, watching your hole wink at him. “Fuck me,” you demand, whinging at him, brown drawn together in a scowl that’s almost his.

“Do it yourself.” He levels you with his glare. “Slut,” he adds for good measure, “c’mon, work for it.”

You must be a natural because Jimmy knows you have never worked a single day in your life. The way you work his cock, lifting your hips up and humping upwards, taking him deeper each time, it drives him crazy.

Absent-mindedly, Jimmy’s fingers find your clit, eyes trained on your asshole stretching open around his shaft, his hips have started to move again. He can’t help himself. He does it better. Faster. Harder. Makes you cry, cheeks wet as you sob for him.

Daddy, daddy, daddy.

Jimmy hates it, but he tunes you out, pinching your clit so hard you wail and swear to fucking god the whole park must hear it. Your cunt gushes all over his hand, dripping into the cupped palm of his hand while he pounds into your ass, the slap of his balls on your skin getting louder the closer he gets to his high.

With a strained noise deep in the back of his throat, Jimmy’s dick gives a few last thrusts into your hole, the wet click, click, click of your throughly fucked asshole drives him nuts. He spills his load inside of you, it dribbles out when his cock slips out.

Jimmy flops down beside you. “I never wanted you,” he mumbles, hoping you know where he stands on your existence, still one of his hands finds itself rubbing your hip tenderly.

“You do now.” He almost misses the cheeky smile on your face in the dark. You’re clearly satisfied, preening and cuddling into his chest like you’re his girlfriend, tingling from head to toe, draping yourself over him like he is a trophy you’ve won.

“Go to bed.” He taps you sharply on the ass.

“Okay, daddy.” Jimmy feels you tracing hearts into his skin, soothing him to sleep. “I love you,” you say, pressing a kiss to his clavicle, you smell like your mom. Rich-girl skin. He pretends to be asleep.

[jordiemeow]

UR UPTOWN GIRL RIFF BOT IS SO GOOD WTF??!!

anyway thinking about riff seeing reader’s room for the first time and making fun of her for being so girly:( i need him so bad

Ugh he’d be such a dick about it :((

Inspecting all your stuff even after you warned him to be careful because ‘my daddy can’t know you’ve been in here, Riff.’ (You bet your ass he was taking advantage of your old man’s business trip to see where you come from.) “It’s like a damn unicorn blew up in here, girly.”

He’s exaggerating. There’s just a little bit of pink. Cotton-candy walls, pink sheets, pink rug, bunny stuffies on your bed… okay, yeah, maybe there’s more than a little. But cut him some slack! He’s never been near a room that looks like yours before, not even when he’d snuck into the ladies bathroom on nights out at the bar. (How does a bathroom smell like flowers? Makes no damn sense.) Everything smells of you; expensive perfumes, fancy skincare products, your lil’ lotions and creams that littered your dresser. He’s pretty damn certain even your underwear drawer is a pastel pink… although he’s a little more interested in what’s inside it than the exterior.

He’s in frilly, uptown girl heaven right now. Eyeing up framed photos of you when you were a little girl wearing sparkly tiaras and princess dresses, making jokes about you being his pretty lil’ princess now. Taking pleasure in the fact your cheeks are just as pink as the rest of the room as he ridicules you for your choice in decor.

You’ve never been to his apartment, but you imagine it’s an absolute tip. So really, he has no room to judge. Except…

“I mean, c’mon. Ain’t you ever grow out of this stuff? S’like you wanna prove to the whole world you’re a girl. We all know you’ve got a—”

“Riff,” you cut him off, shielding your face in embarrassment. 

“What? I’m just sayin'! I've seen under your skirt,” he says, raising his hands in mock innocence as he sinks down onto your bed. He has no qualms about making himself at home, arms spread out and getting comfortable between your embroidered pillows. He looks so fucking out of place next to the little teddy bear with the white bowtie you sleep with every night.

A mischievous grin, and he’s reaching for it to turn it around, fluffy little face directed away from your four-poster bed. God, he could get used to this. It's like he's laying on a fluffy cloud. Can't feel a single spring digging into his spine for once in his life.

“Leave him alone,” you protest, reaching for the bear, only for him to catch your wrist. It’s cute, how you use damn pronouns for a stuffed toy. Like you aren't grown and done awful, terrible things with him before. And speaking of…

“I’m just lookin' out for him, girly girl,” he insists, pulling you closer with the grip on your wrist until you’re hovering above him. A hairsbreadth away from his face, crooked grin in place. “Don’t want him to see what we’re about to get up to, do we? Poor, innocent bear…"

It takes your brain a moment to compute that, and then—

Oh. Oh. Okay. Yeah... good thinking.

[agirlwithglam]

☆.｡.: hygiene tips 🧴🧼

hiii! these are all the best hygiene tips that i've gathered from different sources over the years, not everything is 100% necessary to be consistent with, but its certainly good to apply them once in a while. lets begin! 🎀

LIPS:

taking care of your lips is exceptionally important, especially cus no one wants crusty dusty lips. ♡ use a lipscrub/ exfoliator maybe 1-3 times a week, as many times you need tbh.- diy recipe: sugar, coconut/oil, oil/vaseline, and honey. theres tons more recipes online in case you don't have all the ingredients ♡ apply! a! lip mask! before! bed! this ALWAYS helps me so much! especially since when i wake up i usually get crusty lips! ♡ apply vaseline through out the day so your lips always stay hydrated and soft. ♡ always carry a hydrating lip balm with you. this isnt a huge necessity, but its good to have one on hand in case your lips get dry <3 ♡ DO NOT LICK YOUR LIPS! you may think that it hydrates your lips and makes them less crack-y but licking your lips can actually make them a lot more dryer because your saliva contains enzymes that break down the skin on your lips which can lead to irritation and chapped lips ♡ drink water!! girl i'm not just saying that. go take a sip right now. drinking water is one of THE best things you can do for your lips as it hydrates them!

MOUTH/ TEETH:

ALWAYS brush your teeth, AT LEAST twice a day, obviously. ♡ did you know that most of the smelly bad breath is usually from your tongue? you can get rid of the bacteria that collects while you sleep by using a tongue scraper to get it off OR you can also simply use your toothbrush as an alternative and just brush down on your tongue. ♡ flossing! ♡ also, remember to change your toothbrush every couple months or whenever you start to notice fraying of the bristles.

NAILS:

take care of your nails girlie! they don't always have to be painted and expertly shaped, but its good to keep them clean. ♡ for a good clean/ washing, use warm water and mild soap to wash ur nails and scrub your nails gently with a soft brush (kinda like a toothbrush but don't use urs bc that would be nastyy lol) ♡ and remember to also take care of your cuticles- (its at the very bottom of your nail). push back your cuticles with either a cuticle pusher, or you could just do it with your nails, but NEVER cut them as that could cause an infection. pushing back your cuticles helps to create a cleaner nail plate, prevents hangnails, keeps the skin around your nail smoother, makes your nails appear longer and neater by removing dead skin cells, and more! also, apply cuticle oil/ lotion to keep it hydrated.

painting your nails: i LOVE painting my nails, who doesn't? here are some tips to get the best result when doing it. 1) clean your nails 2) shape your nails (using a nail filer) to the desired shape- almond, round, square, oval, silleto, etc. 3) apply base coat - (protects nails from staining + helps polish stay) 4) apply the nail polish! the best part right? you may want to do 1-3 coats of this to make sure the color is really there and not translucent. 5) apply top coat - makes it look glossy + lasts longer tada! we're done ! <3 i recomend listening to music/ subliminals or watching a movie or talking to a friend during this if u get bored. but honestly, sitting alone, painting your nails, soft music in the background and just getting lost in your thoughts and imagination is such a VIBE.

LASHES

♡ use castor oil or vitamin E on ur eyelashes before bed to make them grow thicker and longer! ♡ avoid pulling or tugging your eyelashes or rubbing to hardly ♡ you can apply vaseline to your lashes, but make sure that its only on the tips and not the roots of it as that can make ur lashes fall out

EARS:

when you're cleaning the inside, do NOT use a q-tip, you may think you're doing something, but it just pushes the wax more in. ♡ instead, in the shower/ after the shower, with your towel and GENTLY wipe the inside- don't apply too much pressure tho! ♡ also it's important to wipe around the ear as well- where the creases meet ur hair. there can be lots of dirt/ dust that collects so once in a while in the shower or with water, just wipe around that ear a bit- again, be careful!! ♡ lastly, also clean the outer bit of your ear, the earlobe- above & around the inside hole. again be gentle, your ear is a sensitive organ, and just use water to wipe around it carefully.

BMAC - if you'd like to support me!

[somedaylazysomeday]

Broken

Reader (no pronouns used, but reader has a vagina) x Ghost, Soap, Gaz, and Captain Price (separately, but could be read as poly if you want)

Reader-insert character(s) deals with various symptoms of vaginismus with support from her boyfriend(s).

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,750

Warnings: Vaginismus (involuntary tightening of the vagina when anything is placed inside), frustration, self-loathing, disparaging self-talk, tampon use, discussion of periods, piv sex, sexting/video chatting, sex toy use, use of a vaginal dilator

NOTE: This is a very personal fic and probably won't mesh with everyone's idea of what the 141st would be like as partners. I read a fic similar to this one years ago (so long ago that I don't remember the author or even the fandom), but it made me feel so much less alone. I want to do that for someone else. Please, be respectful in your comments/reblogs or skip this one, friends.

Masterlist

---

You weren't sure which bothered you more - the humiliation or the waste of it all.

Tampons weren't cheap, and you had just gone through three. They were collected in the bathroom trash can, applicator tips bloodied and cotton in various stages of pushed out. You hadn't managed to get any of the applicators where they needed to be before your traitorous muscles had clamped down, keeping everything out.

You had cleaned up as best you could. Your hands were washed, your pants were up, and your pad was securely in place. There was no sign of your struggles, other than the discarded tampons and a few bloody wipes.

And your tears, of course.

Crying wasn't going to help any of it, obviously. If vaginismus could be cured with a good cry about it, you would have been able to put in a tampon years ago. And use that one vibrator you had bought when you were feeling ambitious. And have sex with your boyfriend.

Your incredibly kind, incredibly encouraging, incredibly patient boyfriend. Thinking about him made you cry harder.

The dating situation had been brutal. The instant your potential boyfriends had learned that penetrative sex was off the proverbial table - at least, for the moment - they had disappeared faster than you could say, "I give an amazing blow job."

But Simon had been unbothered. "'m too big for most women, sweetheart. Even if we never fuck, there are other things we'll like just as much."

He had been okay with the status quo since he had arrived in your life, but you couldn't help but feel like a failure. Like something was deeply wrong with you and that you were inconveniencing him. Why should you have a boyfriend at all if you couldn't have sex with him? Especially someone as wonderful as Simon. You were just keeping someone else from having him-

"You good?"

Simon's deep voice cut through the door easily. You knew that you had been in the bathroom too long for him not to notice, but you swiped at your nose and cheeks anyway. In a voice that was almost normal, you called back, "All good! I'll be done in a minute."

There was a pause just long enough for you to know that he hadn't believed you. Maybe your 'almost normal' voice had been less normal than you'd thought.

When he said, "Open the door, sweetheart," you knew he had you figured out.

Reluctantly, you opened the door, trying to act like everything was fine. Just a time-of-the-month cry. You'd been known to have one or two of those in the past.

"What's going on?" Simon asked, leaning casually against the counter. His gaze was far sharper than his tone, searching across your face as if he could read your mind through it. You wouldn't put it past him, honestly.

"Just a bad day," you explained away with a shrug. "My period is heavy today and I'm sick of it."

He hummed noncommittally. You took a few deep breaths, trying to get rid of your post-cry hiccups. While you waited for that to work, you dug for some hydrating lotion to soothe your inflamed face.

"Your bad day doesn't have anything to do with the tampons in the bin, does it?"

You glanced up, startled, and met Simon's eyes in the mirror. The knowing look on his face was tempered with an equal amount of sympathy, and you dissolved into tears again.

His arms were around you, holding you close as he rocked gently back and forth.

"I'm so frustrated," you explained when you calmed down enough to speak. "I've put in a lot of work to be normal and I still can't-"

"Hey," Simon interrupted. "Normal is bullshit and you know it. Everyone's got stuff they'd change. I know how much you've done. You can take one of my fingers now. You couldn't do that when we first started dating."

That almost made you cry again. "One finger. Why do you put up with me? There are other people you'd actually be able to have sex with. I don't want to hold you back."

Simon stared down, eyes going distant and cold in a way that reminded you that the Ghost persona was still in there. "Because I don't want another person. I'm not with you for the sex. If you want me to leave, you're gonna have to tell me. Don't pretend like it's something you're doing for my sake."

"I don't want you to leave," you admitted. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to stay with someone broken. Not when you could-"

His hand covered your mouth, brown eyes warm once more. "Enough of that. I'm not going anywhere. We both know this is how it goes. You get better for a while, then you have a setback. That's life."

You nodded miserably, but he didn't let you get away that easily. He caught your gaze again, amusement in his voice as he added, "'Sides, if I left, how could I find someone else who understands my jokes?"

You rolled your eyes, tugging his hand away from your mouth. "People don't laugh at your jokes because they're not funny, not because they don't understand them."

"Then why do you always laugh, sweetheart?" he asked, bending down obligingly so you could press a kiss to his lips.

The answer, of course, was that you loved him. And deep down, you knew that was the same reason he stayed.

---

"H- Uh. Wait, I need to… Let me just-"

Johnny withdrew from you, moving back enough for you to sit up. He flopped comfortably into the space you had just left, erection pressing against his lower stomach as you straddled him.

He knew about your issues. Some days, it wasn't a problem. Just a little extra foreplay and you were good to go. Other days, you had to get creative to keep sex from hurting. This was one of the latter.

Fortunately, Johnny was easy to please.

"Mmm," he hummed appreciatively, hands running up your hips to sink into the soft skin at your waist. "Can't say I'm upset about this view, hen."

You believed him. Johnny's expression was blissful as his hands kept moving upward until they were playing with your breasts. He was hard as ever. Clearly, the change in position hadn't bothered him any.

You held the base of his erection in place as you sank down onto it. Or tried to.

By your best estimation, you had just gotten the head of his cock inside of your pussy before your inner muscles locked down. The burning was actually worse in this position, and you paused, thighs screaming at the effort required to hold yourself halfway between kneeling and sitting.

"You're so tight," Johnny grunted, a blissful edge to it as his hands fell away from your breasts.

You caught one hand, pressing it back in place at your chest. He obliged you by tweaking one of your nipples. The sensation brought a fresh flood of wetness between your legs, and you sank a little further.

Then the pinch came, accompanied with burning so intense that you froze in place. It took an immense amount of effort to keep from tearing yourself up off of him. In fact, the major thing stopping you was that you were afraid it would hurt worse to feel his length pulling out of you.

"Hen?" Johnny was staring up at you, concern in his eyes. His hands had gone from your chest to your hips, bracing as if to lift you up.

"Just need… need a second," you insisted, hands grabbing his. You moved one back to your breast and the other between your legs. "Touch me a little more."

"Never a problem," he assured you, fingers moving dexterously to ease that horrible pinching in your pussy. "But we can stop if you need. I know being on top can hurt you if you're not-"

"I can do this," you insisted. Your optimism was slightly undermined by the way you gritted it out through your teeth. "I want to do this."

With the new wetness he had coaxed from your body, you sank a little deeper on Johnny's cock. The pinch came back with a vengeance, accompanied by a burning so intense that your legs stiffened on instinct. The feeling of Johnny tugging free of you was as bad as you feared, forcing a gasp out of you.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I just-"

"Easy there," Johnny soothed, catching at your waist and easing you to lie down on the bed beside him. "Everything is all right."

You nodded, afraid to say anything in case you started crying. To cover your welling eyes, you tossed your arm across your face. You tried to subtly wipe the tears against the crook of your elbow.

"Look at me, love."

The softness in his voice made you cry more, a tear slipping past the barrier of your arm.

"Hey, now," he wheedled, tugging at your wrist. "None 'a that. We tried something and it didn't work."

"I'm sorry, Johnny," you offered, letting him pull your arm away from your face. He clucked sympathetically, wiping at the tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me today. I can't-"

"Today?" he repeated with a snort. Your heart sank at the reminder that this was hardly rare for you. "I know exactly what's wrong with you: you don't let me do enough for you, you make me laugh when I'm raging, you always wear too many clothes for me to see your pretty body…"

You were smiling despite yourself and he leaned down to steal a quick kiss. "But if you're talking about this? Not a thing wrong, hen."

"Still, I'm sorry we had to stop," you said, smile fading under the guilt. "If you give me a few minutes, we can try again."

"Nah," Johnny said cheerily, a mischievous smile spreading across his face. "Was getting hungry anyway."

He wriggled his way down the bed until he was between your legs. You put your hand against his forehead when he tried to lick your pussy. He let out a grumble. "Just thought of another thing wrong with you, but we can fix it quick enough."

"I don't want you to just get me off," you protested. "I want to make you feel good, too."

"Don't think you understand how much I enjoy this, love." You stared at him stonily and he grinned. "If you wanted a taste, all you had to do was ask."

In a moment, he had flipped around on the bed and tugged you on top of him. Johnny buried his tongue in you, thumb flicking at your clit. You stared at his still-slick cock from point-blank range, mouth watering even as you groaned for him. The instant you caught your breath, you were going to make Johnny see stars.

---

"Miss you, love."

You smiled at the camera. "I miss you, too! Wish I could be there."

Kyle glanced over his shoulder as if he could see anything past the white-painted cinderblocks that made up the walls of the room. "Nah, you don't."

"Okay, I wish you could be here," you amended.

Kyle smiled, teeth flashing white in the darkness. "Better."

The silence stretched for a moment longer than was comfortable as you searched for something to say that didn't sound like you were pining away while you waited for him to come home. He wasn't even on a mission or anything vital - you would never be able to video call him if he were - just a routine training at another base.

Before you could come up with some brilliant conversational segue, Kyle leaned a little closer to the camera and flashed a charming smile. "Those pajamas look very uncomfortable."

You glanced down at yourself, unable to fight back a laugh. "These are my softest ones and you know it."

"Yeah, I do." For a second, you thought that would be the end of it, but he waggled his eyebrows - a habit he had picked up recently from Soap. "Must be whatever you've got underneath them."

"Kyle!" you admonished, feeling a little breathless with daring. "Aren't these connections monitored?"

"Yes, but how close are they really watching? It's a video call and it's not like we have enemies invading." Your expression must have looked totally unconvinced, because he brought out the puppy dog eyes. "C'mon, love. You don't have to show anything. I just want to hear you enjoying yourself."

You bit your lip. It was a bad idea. You knew it was a bad idea. You were just finding it a little difficult to convince yourself of that at the moment.

Less than two minutes later, you were fully naked under your sheets, phone carefully angled to keep yourself mostly hidden in the darkness. Kyle was far less worried about the potential of being monitored than you were, and the sight of his hard length was making your mouth water.

He had been murmuring sexy little things into the microphone long enough to push you toward a reaction. Normally, dirty talk made you cringe, but your body must have been particularly desperate for him. You were undeniably wet, fingertips slipping when you finally brushed them over your clit.

The gasp that pulled from you made Kyle groan. His hand closed around his cock, and his head kicked back at the friction of his own palm. "Use- ah. Use your rabbit. I know how much you like it. Not gonna last long. I want you to come with me."

Obediently, you retrieved the rabbit vibrator from the bedside drawer. You grabbed the small bottle of lube on reflex, but it was never a bad idea.

However, even after lubing up the toy and yourself, things were going poorly.

Your breaths were coming faster - not from pleasure, but frustration. The toy that you had taken so easily only days before just… wasn't fitting inside of you. You pressed harder, pushing out a breath to relax your inner muscles. All you got was an impassable pressure that threatened to turn into pain if you kept forcing it.

You turned on the vibrator to the lowest setting and ran the tip of it around your entrance. Maybe you could coax your pussy into relaxing enough… Even so, the thoughts wouldn't stop circling.

You didn't have much time with Kyle. He had wanted you to do this one thing and you couldn't. And what if there was someone watching? They couldn't see you, not really, but they would be able to tell that there was something wrong. Because there was something wrong. Something with you. Other women could do this. Most women could do this.

"Get out of that head, love."

Kyle's warning brought you back to yourself, helped you realize that only moment had passed since your pussy had locked down against the vibe.

"I can't get it," you admitted, hearing the defeat in your own voice. "It's just not going to happen today. I'm sorry."

"Stop that," he ordered. "I want to hear you come, love. Doesn't have to be on the rabbit. I don't care about how you get there, I just want you to feel good. Use your bullet, then. Nothing that pretty clit likes better than some attention."

You obeyed, reaching over to grab the bullet vibrator from the same drawer that had held the rabbit vibrator. Kyle groaned and you glanced back at the screen to find that the sheet had fallen away from your body. One of your breasts was visible in the dim glow of the computer screen, tightly budded nipple on full display. You snatched the sheet back up to your chest, but Kyle's eyes were fixed on the screen, hand moving quickly under his own blankets.

When you were settled back in place, Kyle leaned forward slightly. His pupils were blown wide and his breath was coming faster. You were sure you looked the same way.

"Now, let's get you feeling as good as I do," Kyle urged. "Let me hear you."

Your eyes closed as you pressed the buzzing silicon to your clit. Kyle wanted to hear you, and your body was only too happy to oblige as you hurtled over the edge and into a toe-curling orgasm.

---

You were having a lovely dream, but your bladder was prompting you to wake up.

You managed to push away the need once, twice… but eventually, you couldn't sleep comfortably.

Normally, getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night wasn't the worst thing. You fell asleep again fairly quickly, especially when John was there to keep you warm and cuddled. This time was a little different, and there were a few different steps you would need to take…

Just before you had gone to sleep, John had propped himself on one elbow, leaning over you and holding up your largest dilator. The bright yellow piece of silicon looked faintly ridiculous in his hand, and you found yourself glancing between it and John's eyes as you tried to figure out what was happening.

"Might fancy a bit of fun tomorrow morning," he teased. "Maybe you should sleep with it in so you're ready."

It was presented as a joke, the quiet amusement in John's eyes telling you that he expected nothing to come from it.

So, naturally, you had grabbed it from him and shoved your hand into your underwear. "Great idea. If nothing else, it'll make sleeping interesting."

John had taken it back from you immediately, sliding down between your knees and inserting it with a care that you were likely to skip these days. You had grown used to the dilators, and they didn't make you feel so achingly stretched anymore. The tenderness of John's touch made you melt all the same.

Despite what you had said, you fell asleep quickly and deeply. Your dreams, unsurprisingly, were horny and desperate, but no less deep. It had been - in short - an excellent night so far, but now your last drink was haunting you and you dreaded having to remove the dilator to use the toilet.

You laid there, half-awake and indecisive, until your bladder gave a firm throb of warning and you slid to the edge of the bed.

It was jarring when everything seemed to slide forward, but you recognized the arms that wrapped around you. John was forever a cuddler and he didn't take kindly to you leaving the bed in the middle of the night. He pressed an uncoordinated kiss to your temple, muttering something that might have been, "Where are you going?"

You wriggled a bit, trying to assure your body that you really were on your way to empty your bladder. "Bathroom."

It would be easier to take the dilator out in the light and privacy of the bathroom, you decided, and had started for the edge of the bed when John's arms tightened again. The silicon shifted oddly inside of you as John pulled one of your legs backward and over his hip, opening you up. Before you could protest, he snaked a hand into your panties and removed the dilator easily.

You were still gaping about the ease and painlessness of it when he patted you on the ass. "Hurry, love."

When you had finished relieving yourself, you stared at your reflection for a long moment. Surely John didn't want to have sex with you now, right? The dilator had stretched you, but not enough. Trying to take his cock now would hurt, plain and simple. Would he be upset if you told him you couldn't right now? Would he take it as a rejection of him instead of a request for more time?

You would just have to explain it to him, you decided, drying your hands and applying a thin layer of lotion. It wasn't as if John were the first boyfriend you'd had to explain this to. And if it went poorly, he wouldn't be the first one to get his feelings hurt by the situation.

A deep breath left you feeling calmer, but still dreading the conversation. You snapped the light off before you opened the door, hoping beyond hope that John would have fallen asleep again before you made it back to bed.

Not only was he awake, but he had switched on a light. In the warm golden glow of the bedside lamp, he lay on his back, one arm tucked behind his head. The dilator was propped on his lower abdomen, rising and falling with his gentle breath. The slight movement made the light glisten off a fresh coat of lube. A bubble of laughter rose in your gut at the sight. The positioning of the scene almost made it look like he had a particularly unimpressive and fluorescent yellow erection.

When you made no move to come back to bed, John lifted his head to look at you. "Come here. We'll put this back in and go back to sleep."

Your relief at not having to explain your body to him made you lightheaded. You stumbled giddily back to the bed and scrambled onto it in an uncoordinated sprawl.

John leaned back onto his pillow and patted his stomach beside the dilator. "Need any help getting it back in?"

"I think I will," you said gravely, stopping his hand when he moved to pick up the silicon cylinder. "Keep it steady for me, won't you?"

With John's hand wrapped around the base of the dilator, you were free to move your panties to the side and lower yourself onto it. The position wasn't always something that worked for you during actual penetrative sex, but you liked that this was allowing you to control the pace. You were relaxed with sleep, an empty bladder, and laughter, and you found that the dilator went in without a problem.

When you were straddling John's waist, pussy pressed flush against his stomach, you looked down. John was chuckling back at you, eyes warm. "Proud of you, love. Let's go back to sleep, yeah?"

"Please," you agreed, laughing when he pulled your chest down to his, rolling you until he was happy with your position.

You ended up on your side, face tucked into the warm curve of John's neck. His thigh was firmly between yours, pressing the dilator into you. The resulting pressure against your clit sent little thrills through you even as you felt yourself slipping back into rest.

You couldn't wait for the morning.

---

Author's Note - I'm sure we've all seen the tumblr post about vaginismus and how isolating it is. If you skipped the note at the top of this fic, I read a similar fic a long time ago that helped me deal with my own stuff. I want to do the same for other readers.

If this was familiar, or you already know you have vaginismus, please remember that it doesn't define you. It is treatable with dilators and potentially physical therapy in certain cases. Find someone to speak to. Sex shouldn't hurt and you should be able to put in a tampon. And if you decide not to treat it at all, none of that changes your value as a human being.

Anyway, thanks for reading! :)

[samiistrashy]

Based on Xavier’s five-star card, “No Restraint.”

Warnings and Tags: 18+, fluff, smut, teasing our star boy, possibly bad writing and grammar. Blue words is Xavier, bold words is MC.

“That Protocore’s Protocurves can… dull a person’s senses.” His voice comes out softly as he sits on the edge of the bed holding a tub of lotion in one of his hands. He takes some of the lotion and puts it on my leg, rubbing it up and down. I sigh softly at his touch, “Then maybe you’ve been affected by it.”

“Yeah.”

He grabs my ankle pulling me closer to him as he continues to speak, “It’s possible… I won’t be able to feel you anymore from now on.” He rests his chin on my knee while I reach forward and grab a bit of the lotion putting it on his nose. “What’s this fragrance? Can you smell it?”

“Strawberry,” he says immediately. “Or maybe… that scent is cherry… Was I right?” His eyes meet mine when he asks that, but I don’t care enough to answer testing him was way more fun. “Here’s another test.” I lean forward and touch his ear caressing it softly. “What do you think my hand is doing right now?” I move my hand down to his face cupping it enjoying the small sounds he lets out.

“You need to do it harder,” Xavier states looking at me through his lashes. I let out a soft hum and dragged my hand slowly down his neck and to his chest. “Too gentle-” He cuts himself off breathing heavily as I rake my nails down his chest stopping purposefully at the knot of his robe. “What about now?” I tease palming him softly through the fabric of the robe. “If you still don’t feel it-” I let out a soft gasp as he grabbed my wrist kissing my palm gently.

“If I still haven’t felt it… does this mean I’m a lost cause?” He breathes out, struggling to keep his composure. I bite down on my lip seeing the tips of his ears turn red. I let out a small giggle and used my free hand to pull him closer to me. “What should we do then?” My lips brush up against his ear as I whisper in it, “Xavier~” I pull back to see his face my smile dropping a little seeing the glint in his blue eyes go dark.

He drops my hand and pushes me back again the bed hovering over me. “Since that’s the case, tonight will be the last time… But your sensory test isn’t over yet.” I knit my eyebrows in confusion, but before I can say anything he leans down and kisses my neck. “Mmm… What’s going through your head?” I let out a gasp as he bites down on my collarbone.

“Something… indecent.” He mumbles out as his fingers trail up my thigh. My breathing grows heavy as he spreads my legs apart with a smirk. “It’s a shame I can’t feel how wet you are… maybe I should touch you some more.” I let out a soft moan feeling his fingers circling my clit. “Xavier,” I breathed out as he slipped a finger inside me.

"I haven't even done much, Honey," he whispers into my ear, slipping in another finger. I moan louder as he curls them, hitting my G-spot. He smirks and increases his pace, his thumb circling my clit, “Come on, let me feel those sweet juices cover my fingers.” He growled, his voice low and deep. I moaned, my hips grinding against his hand as I felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge. I could feel his cock hard against my leg, and I knew he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.

"Fuck, Xavier," I breathed out, my nails digging into his back as I came hard around his fingers. He pulled his fingers out of me, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean. I watched, my breath coming in short gasps as he licked my juices off his fingers. “I see you haven’t lost your sense of taste,” I said letting out a breathy laugh, but Xavier didn’t say anything. Instead, he pushed me back onto the bed, climbing on top of me. His cock pressed against my entrance, and I moaned as he slid inside me.

“Fuck, you’re tight…” He groaned, his hips kissing mine with each thrust. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside me. "You like that, don't you?" He growls, his lips finding mine pulling me into a rough kiss. I moan into his mouth, my nails clawing down his back as I meet him thrust for thrust. Moans, grunts, the sound of the bed creaking, and the sound of skin slapping filled the air as Xavier pounded into me faster.

“I’m close he grunted out.” His fingers found my clit once again, making me unable to hold back. I felt myself spiraling higher and higher until I finally crashed over the edge, my orgasm ripping through me like a tidal wave. “Fuck.” He groaned, his hips stuttering as he followed me over the edge. I could feel his cock pulsing inside me, filling me with his hot, sticky seed. He collapsed on top of me, his breathing ragged and uneven. I ran my fingers through his hair, my heart still racing from the earth-shattering orgasm he had just given me.

“Holy shit.” I pant out catching my breath. Xavier looks up at me with an innocent smile bringing a smile on my face. We stay like this together, both of us too lazy to move, eventually falling asleep.

[prncssie]

Reader and Sukuna in a fitting room rating the compression shirts he picked out : p

hi anon my love this is long overdue BUT i said i would do it ik i lied once but sukuna is actually difficult for me boooo. i am not lying when i say i struggle with him specifically but characterization is soooo difficult it’s an entire process

anyway past the sob story onto the request! this is done with suburbia sukuna in mind. he has his own fully built universe that i hope to explore more :D feel free to ask about that!! okay request fr below the cut. mdni minors stay away or m calling your parents.

sukuna is supposedly off limits. it’s more of a unspoken rule than anything. if it wasn’t unspoken, you doubt you’d be the only one trying to get unscheduled one on one time with him. even if it was spoken though, there’s a big chance you’d still be seated here now, watching in faux boredom as sukuna pulls yet another shirt off his body.

you’re not supposed to be here. well, you are just not here. you’re supposed to be strolling the shops of the malls, in search of something fitting for nobara’s birthday, something as extravagant as she’d like. it’s just sheer coincidence that you ran into sukuna, at least that’s what you’d tell them.

it doesn’t really matter what megumi or nobara or even yuji thinks. neither of them knows what it feels like to have secret rendezvous with the untouchable. you’ve taken a bite of the forbidden fruit. it would be insane to ask you to put it down, now.

it’s one of your more tame interactions though, so at least you have something to stand on. granted, most of your cognitive function is focused on not gaping like a fish every time his muscles ripple and flex across his form.

“i don’t like that one. it makes you look like a whore.” it’s two short sentences but it’s all you can manage to maintain your little bit of sanity. it’s all the same when sukuna isn’t facing you. he couldn’t possibly read your expression when he’s too busy staring at his own in the mirror.

you can see him though. you can see him and the way his pink lips twitch in a half assed smile. the navy blue compression shirt goes right back in the hanger with the white tag dangling, taunting you of your actual quest. you can see the quirk in his eyebrow before he can utter a word.

“that’s my goal. can’t get more bitches under my belt without a little bait.” all sukuna has to do is cast you one of those over the shoulder glances to turn your insides into mush. he gives off the impression that he knows, with the way his tongue goes to swipe glossed saliva across the soft plains. “don’t it take one to know one?”

by the time your big brown eyes have rolled to the edges of your head and back again, sukuna has already crossed the space between you, tender hand resting on your skin, smoothened with coco butter lotion and vanilla scented body oil. his hand runs up your calf, reaching the edges of your denim skirt. if his all-knowing grin doesn’t tip you off, it would be the tightening of his fingertips around you.

if you were anywhere else, perhaps you would be more enticed to get lost in the inferno his touch leaves your nerves feeling but this is reality, and in reality, he’s snuck you into the dressing room just to show off his physique. it forces you, to instead of being spontaneous and going with the flow, to chide him in a mutter and plant your hands firmly on his chest.

“no. no, ‘kuna this is a bad idea. you don’t need me to tell you that.” your move to turn your cheek towards him does nothing to deter him. your lips weren’t his goal, anyway. rather, sukuna seems perfectly content attaching his lips to your neck to leave behind an array of bruises.

you feel more than you hear it, the rush of air past your ear when he scoffs. sukuna has made himself hovering in the spot between your legs, one knee bent and wedged sandal atop the bench. “oh, it’s a bad idea, is it? don’t want poor yuji findin’ out. what would he think? his good friend, his best friend, chumming it up with me, his dear old brother.” he leans away just enough for a breath of space between you. his pink hair brushes against your forehead as sukuna tilts his head. his eyes shine with mischief but his grip is all the same. “you never complain until it suits you. big fuckin’ baby.”

you’d like to think your efforts work, particularly when sukuna discards you and replaces the object of his attention for yet another shirt on the rack of possibilities. he’s already clicked his tongue and moved on from your conversation while you’re still attempting to defend your honor in a single breath. “just because i have ethics doesn’t make me a baby.” your foot meets the floor in a soft clunk! and you sort out the bunched up material of your skirt.

your words make him laugh, a sound vibrating through his chest and out his body. “ethics, huh? where were you ethics last week? ‘sukuna can you come over? the power went out and i can’t fix it. sukuna i’m so lonely. i’m so bored. i’m so—’ what djd you say? something about your parents not being home. i can’t quite remember.”

“oh my god, shut up.” hearing your own words, although in a much deeper timbre, stirs up an embarrassment so overwhelming, your hands fly to cover your face. “you make it sound like a bad porno.” you’re no stranger to the heat creeping up your neck and spreading that warmth throughout your cheeks.

“should’ve been. i don’t think you could fake that, though. which one do you think will get me the most bitches? blue or black?” sukuna phrases it like it’s some passing thought. it’s a casual conversation to him. your sexual endeavors are normalized and he speaks of it as you don’t have to sneak behind your mutuals.

“black.” the decision falls from your lips before you have time to contemplate it. it’s not an entire lie. it’s just . . . not the best option. he didn’t ask that, though. sukuna asked what would get him the most bitches. he didn’t ask for your exact, and quite personal, opinion. perhaps you were doing him a favor is steering him away from a blue so deep it made his eyes shine. “and hopefully now you’ll get enough attention and leave me alone.”

sukuna scoffs again and shakes his head. pink hair tosses atop his head and he looks back at you again, a familiar smile playing on his lips. “you’re the one that needs to leave me alone.”

[cowboybarzy]

reconciliation — mat barzal

some barzy smut for you all :) wanted to wait posting this but those videos of him playing guitar just came out so we are all in desperate need for this rn!! as a reminder: video one two

word count: 2.9k

warning: SMUT (18+) & undisclosed fight (sorry I was too lazy to come up with a better backstory so just know it was fairly bad fight and this starts a couple hours afterwards)

You laid awake, desperately trying to fall asleep, but your fight with your boyfriend played in your head over and over again. It was so stupid and you hated that you were still mad, especially since he was leaving for a few days the next day. But you were too stubborn to be the bigger person and turn around and apologize.

Mat felt the same, though, the sleepless ness getting to him and turning around to face your back. He wrapped an arm around you and gently kissed your cheek. "Hey," he whispered, pulling himself closer to you until you were perfectly nestled to him. "We said we'd never go to sleep angry. I'm sorry. I love you."

You nodded, but didn't turn to face him. Your hand lifted to cradle his cheek and with an 'I love you, too' you both were finally able to fall asleep.

***

You spent the next few days alone, Mat being gone on a roadie. While you hadn't exactly talked about your fight, you mutually decided to just drop it since neither of you wanted to stay angry at each other. You face timed every day like normal, although there wasn't any spicy time that you would usually share. You saved that for after he hung up.

You could hear the music blasting from your apartment before you even stepped inside. Mat was back, since the early afternoon actually, but you were stuck at work. Yelling for him when you stepped foot inside the apartment wouldn't work, so after getting rid of you jacket and shoes you went to look for him. And what a sight when you did. He was dancing and singing along to the music, while attempting to chop an onion.

"Whatcha doin?" He jumped at your voice, dropping the knife and almost cutting himself.

"Don't scare me like that!" The shock on his face claimed after a second and he went to turn down the music and wash his hands before he pulled you in for a hug. "Missed you."

"Missed you." After a long kiss, you looked around to figure out what he was doing. "You're making dinner? For me?"

"Hey! I cook for you."

"Mhm."

"What? I do! You're just better than me that’s why I don’t do it so much." You patted his chest with a chuckle and kissed him again, shutting him up.

You helped him prepare the meal for a bit, before you went to go take a shower. Since seeing him today, especially in the kitchen, you had felt incredibly horny and devised a plan on how your night would go. But shower first.

After lotioning up and making you smell irresistible, you slipped into some sexy matching lingerie. You pulled on of his boxers overtop to be comfortable, but also show off your ass, and one of his white tshits that would show him exactly what was going on underneath.

You set the table when you came back and not long after you sat down for dinner. Throughout eating, you brushed your hair seductively and made some inappropriate noises, to get him riled up. And he did, but he could see exactly through what you were doing, so he didn't make a move. While he did want to flip this table to get to you, he just sat there staring at you, looking at wherever you wanted him to.

"This actually was pretty good," you said, taking a sip of you water. "I just hope desert is better."

His eyes darkened while you smirked at him. You were both staring at each other, fueling the heat in each of your bodies until you got enough.

"I must be getting my period or something, because I have been so horny these past few days," his body twitched, wanting to reach out to you. "Too bad you weren't there."

You got up to take both of your plates to the sink. "But don't worry, our pink friend helped me out a lot."

"What?!" You smiled at him from where you leaned against the kitchen island, showing off your legs. "And I didn't get a video or a call? Baby, come on." He was frustrated and tried to stand, but with a show of hand you got him to sit down again. You stalked over to him until you stood directly in front of him, looking down.

"I guess I was still mad at you," you said and slowly let you hands trace his cheek. Then you sat down on his lap where he immediately gripped your hips. Then you leaned down to whisper in his ear, "and I thought you should earn to see them."

"So... So, you did take a video?," he asked, his voice stammering.

"Maybe." You lips traced his jaw. "Maybe there's more than one." You let your hip roll, meeting his hard erection. "What are you going to do to earn the right to see them?"

He groaned as his head fell back. "Fuck, baby, anything. I'll do anything."

With that, you finally let him kiss you.

"Well? Show me what you got." And he did. You gave the control over to him and without hesitation he had you up and pressed down on the dining table. With a hard pull, your boxers and panties were off and he was staring down at you like a wild animal.

"God, you're so hot." His hands massaged your thighs before pulling your shirt up to expose your breasts contained in your black lace bra. He bent to to trace the outline of your tits with his lips. Swiftly, he ripped both cups down, exposing them all the way.

"Yes, suck them, Mat. Please ... please suck them," you begged, the sound so desperate that he complained immediately with a moan. He cupped your breast in his hand, squeezing it hard as he sucked your nipple between his lips. You moaned together and your hand got ahold of his head, pushing him into you. He played with both of your tits, sucking, nipping, licking, and squeezing, until you both got impatient and he got back down on his knees with a smirk. "Ready?"

His mouth descended onto your slick pussy, to which your pelvis shot up to meet his face. "Oh fuck." Hands still on your thighs, he took long, languid strokes with his tongue. You squirmed beneath him as he lapped away at you, never fully pushing all the way in against your clit, just staying around the outside, prepping you for what he had planned.

With two fingers, he spread you wide, exposing your clit, and then lowered his tongue to just above it.

And he hovered, letting you feel his heavy breath and the scruff of his jaw against your inner thigh.

"Mathew," you moaned. "Please."

With his hand that wasn't spreading her, he moved it back up your body, and just as he pinched your left nipple between your fingers, he press his tongue against your clit.

"Oh my . .. fuck." Your eyes squeezed shut, arching into him. He did it again. And again. And again. "More," you begged. "I need more."

In response, Mat pressed his tongue against your slit and lightly flicked at it, creating a vibration against the nub that caused you to grip his head and dig your fingers digging into his scalp. "Fuck, Maty. Oh my God . . . keep going."

His eyes lifted, to keep them on you to watch your reactions as he continued to pleasure you at a relentless pace. Your body grew tighter and tighter and your breath picked up as you got closer and closer to the edge.

His tongue attacked your clit more aggressively, pushing against it, sucking it. Your moans grew louder and your body tensed. Then your orgasm crashed over you, sending you into full body tremors. "Fuck... fuck." Mat sucked and licked you up until the tremors subsided and you laid there, limp, on the table.

Mat got back on his feet and bent over you to kiss you gently. His lips pressed small wet kisses along your neck and collarbone, until you had recovered enough to gain function over your limbs again. Your first act was to pull his shit off his chest, then you clung to him, wrapping both your legs and arms around him.

With his strong arms, Mat picked you up and set you in his lap when he plumped into your living room couch. "I love eating your sweet little pussy, feeling it clench around my tongue," he whispered into your ear as he pulled your hair. "But I love feeling it clench around my cock even more."

You moaned as your head fell into the crook of his neck. You were ready and desperate for him again and he knew immediately by the way you were rocking your hips, searching for his cock.

"You love that, too, eh? Feeling my dick pulsing deep inside you." You nodded quickly, hoping it would get him to do something faster. And he did, pulling his dick out of his sweatpants, pumping it a couple times in front of your eyes. Then he pulled on your hair, making you sit up straight while he leaned back. "Ride me. But don't let me inside you. I want to see just how slick that pussy is."

Your hungry eyes connected, but both of your heads soon fell back with moans as you slowly moved your wet cunt over his cock. "Oh my God, Maty, this feels... incredible."

"You feel incredible," he says in response as you fell forward, bringing your breast into him mouth. He focused on your nipple, swirling around it with his tongue, flicking and then nibbling just enough that you sucked in a sharp breath of air. With his hand, he did the same thing to your other breast as you continued to rock on him.

"I can come just like this," you say, your hands falling to his chest and your pelvis lifting just slightly to get a better angle. "Fuck, I'm already close."

"Then come. Use me, fuck me like this." His moans spurred you on, driving you closer to the edge. 

Your lips pressed together, as your eyes squeezed shut and your pace picked up. Your thrusts became more erratic until you reached your orgasm. "Fuck!" Your body shook and spasmed as you rode out your orgasm until there was nothing left to take. The you collapsed on top of him.

"That was so hot," he whispered, his voice raspy. "Now be a good girl and lie down." You obeyed, falling into to cushions exhausted. "Turn."

When you did, he gave your ass a hard slap, the echo of your skin filling the air. Then he moved a pillow under your pelvis and gave your ass another slap, before he moved his thumb over your arousal, swirling it around your entrance, and positioning his cock where he wants it.

With gritting teeth, he pushed his hips forward and with a hard thrust he pushed in his cock in your pussy until he bottomed out. You both moaned loudly and his grip got tighter on your hips as he tried to restrain himself. "More," you moaned as you started moving your hips.

"Babe, don't move. Please... fuck." You moved your pelvis anyway, and he matched the thrusts because he was as desperate as you. "I won't last."

"Do it, Mat. Fuck me as hard as you can." With a groan, the grip on your hips tightened again as he started pumping into you relentlessly. He had no control, all he was doing was fucking you chasing his release. Your pussy gripped his cock so tightly, spurring on both of your thrusts. He was pushing into you so hard, that the sound of your skin slapping was so loud, you thought the neighbors would be able to hear it.

"I'm right there. Fuck, I'm there," he groaned and moaned until he exploded inside you. Thick, warm ropes of his cum coated your insides. "Fuuuuck."

Out of nowhere, you started shaking as you reached your third orgasm. Your vision went black and your breath hitched while milking the last drops of his cum. Your body felt like jello as you came down from your high. Mat collapsed next to you, but you barely registered it. You were to exhausted to move or speak, so you laid there catching your breath.

Eventually, Mat's arm snuck around you and turned you to pull you into his chest. "Good enough to get that video?"

"Mhm," was all you answered and he smiled victorious, but little did he know he wasn't going to see it for a couple more weeks...

***

You had expected the call. After finally sending him the video of yourself playing with your pink vibrator, you had expected him to call you. For your own pleasure in the situation, like you hadn't had enough fun messing with him, you had sent the video at a time you knew he would see the notification but wouldn't be able to open it for another few hours. You reveled in the fact that he would be on the edge, dying to open that video, but couldn't because he was with his team in mandatory meetings.

You had expected the call. Which is why you were already ready and waiting in bed. What you didn't expect though, was to see Mat's fist wrapped around his cock moving up and down, instead of his face.

The camera flipped to show his face after a moment, revealing a very turned on Mat. "You little slut. You enjoyed that, didn't you? Torturing me even more by dangling that video in front of me?"

You smiled as you sank back into your pillows. "Yes."

"Turned you on, eh? Messing with me like that." He moved his phone so that you could see him from his thighs up and, god, nothing beat that view. "See what you do to me? Fuck, baby, that video was so hot. Screaming my name like that when I wasn't even there. All mine. You're mine." You were on edge and your hand itched to slide between your legs. "Did you have fun without me?"

"Wasn't that video proof enough?," you teased him again, but you knew it wasn't as good as it was without him.

"Tell me the truth or I'm hanging up."

You rubbed your hand over your panties and gave in. "Nothing feels right when you're not here." You need him and hear his voice to get off. "God, Maty, I'm so on edge right now. I need you." You positioned the camera so he, too, could see your body.

"Alright, I'll be nice. Strip. Take those fucking panties off and let me see your wet cunt." You did as instructed, even taking your bra off. "Now glide your fingers up and down your body and around your breasts without touching your nipples. Just like that, baby. Slower, I want you to feel how soft your skin is."

As your hand slid across your skin, you regretted teasing him for so long because you had a feeling he was going to do the same to you. "Slide your fingers closer to your pussy, tease yourself the way I'd tease you. Get close to your slit but don't touch yourself."

Your hand lowered and, when you got close enough, your pelvis lifted. "Don't fucking touch that cunt. It's mine."

"Don't make me wait," you groaned, throwing your head back in agony.

"Now who's talking."

"You liked it, I know it." You smirked, then dared to move your hand closer to your center.

"Shush. Spread your legs more and slowly spread those lips for me." You did, moaning at the sensation. "Fuck, look at you. I wish I was there, eating that wet pussy. Sucking on your clit, driving my dick so hard inside you that you can practically taste my cum in the back of your throat."

"Maty, I need more. Please," you begged as you breathing increased. You were so wet already and so close to your orgasm when you hadn't even really touched yourself yet. When you looked to your phone, you saw Mat started pumping his cock again.

"My dick is so hard, baby. Shit. Yes, go, finger yourself. I need to see you touch yourself."

Finally, you got two fingers to slowly circle your clit. "Oh, fuck," you yelled as head fell back again and your eyes rolled back in ecstasy.

"That's it, baby, keep up the pace. I need you to match my strokes. Pinch your nipple too. I want you to mark yourself."

Your hips lifted as your fingers sped up, chasing your release. And it was getting close. You looked to your phone, where Mat was still grunting while he worked himself. You saw a big bead of precum spill out of the tip of his cock, then he moaned loudly. "I'm there. Fuck, I'm gonna cum."

"Me too." You had no idea if he heard you, but your orgasm started crashing over you and you lost track of all of your senses for a moment. Your spams started slowly and then descended into full body shudders that left you screaming his name.

While you caught your breath, you turned to take your phone back into your hand. You saw Mat with a small smile looking at you, hand still around his cock, but his sticky cum spilled on his skin.

"You are an evil little woman," he said, which made you laugh. "But, god, what I wouldn't do for you."

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 49

It's here!!! The final part of this massive fic. 😭 I can't believe we're finally at the end. I'm still in shock that I get to close the door on this fic that has taken up the last three years of my life. I have so many emotions running through me right now. 🥺

The epilogue will be posted during @elriel-month in addition to a little surprise I'm so excited to share with you. Stay tuned!! 💜💙💚

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW

This part also features descriptions of birth and complications from it.

Word Count: 7,225

Elain had spent a good portion of the late morning getting ready for the baby shower scheduled for noon. At just over eight months pregnant, they were cutting close to the wire of the twins’ arrival.

She was beyond exhausted. Growing the babies was work enough, but she ached everywhere at this point. Her boobs, her hips, her ankles. Her back…that hurt the worst. She looked like she swallowed two extra large watermelons. Elain hadn’t seen her feet in two and half months and she was praying that her toenails looked well enough for sandals today.

On top of her aching body, she also slept like shit the night before, having woken up in the wee hours with Braxton Hicks contractions that seemed to never want to go away. They were getting obnoxious at this point.

Oh! And her boobs had already started leaking. Aside from the contractions, Elain also woke up to a soaked sleep shirt and an attitude that poor Azriel was desperately trying to keep calm. She felt bad that her irritation got directed at him, but he took her mood swings in stride, giving her the space when she needed it, and focusing on taking care of Kaden and getting him ready for the party.

Her husband knocked lightly before entering their bedroom, shutting the door behind him and locking it when he saw her standing there in an ugly pair of panties and a strapless bra—which she had no idea how it was going to hold up her tits, but here they were. “Hello, my love. How are you doing?” he asked, striding further into their room. He was already dressed in black slacks and a white button-down rolled up to his elbows. It was one of her favorite looks on him. Casual but classy and sexy as hell.

“I’m all right. Better than this morning,” which was true. In the time she took to get ready, she felt her irritation slowly dissipate. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

He gifted her a soft smile he reserved only for her and their children. “El, you’re carrying two babies. You’re allowed to let out your frustrations. I’m here to spar if you need it, you know that.”

She knew he meant spar as in letting her yell and shout and hiss words until she felt better while he just took it. Gods, he really was the perfect husband. Elain held out her coco butter lotion towards him. “Do you mind rubbing this on me and helping me dress?”

Azriel took the bottle from her outstretched hands, dropping a sweet kiss on her plump lips before squirting some into his scarred palms and gently rubbing it all over her swollen stomach. He knelt before her, dutifully getting every inch of her covered. “You are so beautiful, Elain,” he murmured, kissing her at the fullest part of her belly.

She snorted. “I am a beached whale who ate too much.”

“You are a gorgeous woman carrying life inside of her womb. That will always be beautiful, sweetheart.”

How he always knew what to say was beyond her, but she tugged him up off the ground to kiss him thoroughly. It should’ve annoyed her with how just a few sweeps of Azriel’s tongue had every concern and irritation simply melt away. He knew when to play that card and fuck did he play it well.

But even his tongue couldn’t stop the hiss of pain as another contraction wracked her body.

He immediately pulled back at the sound, eyes scanning her face. “Are you all right?” he asked, concern etched into the tone.

She breathed through the wave that tightened in her abdomen. “Braxton Hicks contractions,” she said as an explanation.

 His brows shot into his hairline. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”

Elain reached up to cup his cheek in her palm, her thumb swiping over the stubble there. “No, it’s a normal thing this late in the pregnancy. I’ve had a few this morning starting before dawn. It’s why I was grouchy.”

Understanding lit his face and he carefully ran his hand down her stomach again. “Why didn’t you wake me this morning?”

She huffed a laugh. “Because I knew you’d go into full-birthing-dad-mode and neither one of us would’ve slept any longer.”

Azriel shot her an unamused glare. “You will be thanking me for that birthing-dad mode when you’re in labor and I have everything packed up within minutes.”

This time Elain laughed loud and joyfully. “Yes, you’re probably right.” She nodded to the dress on the bed. “Help me slip that on?”

He grabbed the fabric, bunching it in his large fists, and pulled it over her head. It was an off-the-shoulder, loose, pale pink cotton dress, decorated with roses. It looked vintage, gathering just under her bust, with oversized puffy sleeves that sat off her shoulders, over her biceps. Ruffles accentuated the bottom hem, emphasizing the vintage style. It was the perfect spring dress. When Elain first saw it at the store, she knew she had to buy it for the shower.

Azriel tugged her loose curls from the back of the dress, letting them brush against her spine. He placed a kiss on her bare shoulder before grabbing the rose-pendant necklace he bought to go with the dress and draping it around her delicate neck. “Perfect,” he murmured onto her skin, his smile pressing against her neck.

Elain sighed softly, reaching up to thread her fingers through his dark hair. “How am I still horny for you?”

He nipped at her throat, a rumble shaking his chest. “Because you know I can deliver what you need without even blinking.”

This time she laughed, letting his hands run across her body in possessive little touches.

Azriel brazenly cupped her sex through the dress, growling as she let out a mewling sound and began to writhe against those skilled fingers, searching for the friction she desperately craved. “Would you like to fuck my hand, love?” he murmured, mouth grazing her jaw.

Elain fell slack against him, letting his strength hold her up. “Az,” she breathed, eyes fluttering shut as he began to rub her in earnest. “Please.”

He nipped the curve of her ear, tugging the lobe between his teeth. “You beg so prettily, El.” Bunching up the dress in a fist, Azriel slid her panties aside, swiping his fingers over her soaked pussy. “Fuck, baby. You’re so wet for me. Always desperate for my touch.”

She gripped him, nails digging into his exposed forearms. “I need—I need,” she panted out, wiggling in his hold. “Please, Az.”

Giving her exactly what she wanted—needed—Azriel sunk his middle finger into her aching cunt, pumping once before adding a second digit. “Such a good girl,” he whispered, thrusting in and out of her. The heel of his palm grazed her clit sending bolts of pleasure up her spine.

Elain bit her lip, stifling the moan that threatened to burst from her. His fingers scraped along that special spot inside of her, building her up and up and up until she teetered on the edge of bliss.

Barely conscious of her surroundings, Elain caught the sound of the door handle jiggling, followed by a “Momma!”

Azriel clapped a hand over her mouth as he continued his machinations. “Momma’s getting dressed, Kaden. We’ll be out in a minute,” he called out, pressing his palm firmly on her clit and sending her spiraling into her orgasm.

Too far gone to care, she tumbled into sweet oblivion, coming hard on his fingers. Elain moaned, only quieted by the muffling against her husband’s scarred hand.

He worked her through her release, slowing his movements when she started to come down from her high. Az peppered her skin with sweet kisses, removing his fingers from her pussy and readjusting her panties back into place before letting the dress fall back down. “Better, my love?”

“I’m gonna have to change my underwear, but yes.” She twisted in his arms, catching him sucking his fingers clean. Elain brought his mouth down to hers, tongue licking the drop of her release dotting his bottom lip. “Thank you, husband.”

He smiled into their kiss, deepening it once more. “I’ll go check on Kaden while you finish up. We’ll head out when you’re done.”

Twenty minutes later, they were in the car on their way to Rhys and Feyre’s place. It was a gorgeous day full of sunshine, the air warm with the oncoming of summer. It was as if even the Mother wanted to grace her presence on that day with her radiance. They really couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day for a baby shower.

“Momma?” Kaden called from the back seat. “Where are we going?”

His speech had improved so much since they first brought him home that the therapist they hired had told them after the end of the school year, that he likely wouldn’t need to continue seeing a specialist to catch him up. He was reading and writing the way a five-year-old should be and was on track to pass kindergarten with flying colors.

She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Remember how we talked about going to Aunt Feyre and Uncle Rhys’s for the baby shower today.”

He seemed to think about that. “What’s a baby shower?”

Her lips quirked up at his curious mind. Thankfully, he hadn’t asked about where babies came from again. “It’s a party to celebrate the upcoming arrival of your brother and sister.” Her hand came to rest on her belly instinctively.

His face scrunched up. “Will I have to take a bath again?”

Azriel let out a snort, glancing at her. “It’s a fair question.”

She laughed. “No, sweetheart. Not that kind of shower. To shower with love. The party is just to celebrate the babies before they arrive.”

“Will there be cake?” he asked, excitement lighting up his face at the prospect of sweets.

“For my sister’s sake, there better be.” Elain’s late-stage pregnancy craving was anything sweet. Cookies, cakes, pastries, whatever she could get her hands on, she was eating it. Azriel was barely able to keep the pantry stocked with desserts for her to snack on.

Her husband chuckled. “If she doesn’t, we’ll stop by a bakery on our way home and get each of you a cake. How’s that sound?” he asked, grasping her hand and bringing it to his mouth to kiss her knuckles.

She grinned. “You spoil me.”

He looked at her then. “You deserve to be spoiled.”

They were fashionably late to their baby shower, and Elain completely blamed her husband’s morning sexual charade for the delay in their arrival. Not that she minded at all. She had another Braxton Hick contraction in the car, Azriel eying her with worry and once again asking if they should make a pitstop at the hospital just in case.

But that would’ve made them even more late and Elain knew it was unnecessary.

All of their friends and family were waiting for their arrival. And she hated being late.

“What am I going to do with you gone for six months, Elain?” Thesan teased, taking a sip of his beer.

She shot a devilish grin at the head nurse sitting on the couch across from her. “I’m sure Viv would love to pick up all the slack.”

Viviane squawked in outrage and pointed a menacing finger in her direction. “Don’t put your work on me while you’re enjoying your babymoon, Elain Archeron-Knight.”

The group laughed as she pushed herself up off the couch. Another contraction hit her and she winced, catching the attention of the sharp-eyed nurse. But before she could ask, Kaden came bounding up to her, tugging on the skirt of her dress.

“Momma, can I have a cake pop?” He looked up at her with those damn puppy eyes he knew she couldn’t resist.

Elain ran a hand through his hair. “Sure, sweetie. Only one. You don’t want to spoil your appetite for Uncle Cassian’s good barbeque.”

Said uncle was out in the backyard tending to the grill with her husband, Rhys, and the Moonbeam brothers because, apparently, that’s where men gathered. Aelin and Rowan had joined them, the former getting an eyebrow raise from Azriel at her company’s appearance.

She made her way to the kitchen, hoping to perhaps score one of those cake pops herself—she was the guest of honor, surely she could snag one too. Feyre, Nuala, and Cerridwen had been busy putting together the final touches for lunch and were just waiting for Cassian’s proteins to serve food.

But just as she reached the breakfast bar, a wave of excruciating pain washed over her. Catching herself on the counter, Elain gripped the side of her stomach, groaning loud enough that the other room went silent. And then she felt it. Liquid surged between her legs, puddling the floor beneath her.

No. No, it was too soon. They couldn’t be coming already.

Viviane rounded the corner from the living room as Feyre and the twins approached her.

Somebody breathed her name, but she couldn’t decipher who it was over the blood rushing in her ears.

More footsteps sounded as her friends and family came from the living room to see what was going on.

“Elain.” It was Feyre’s voice that broke through the fog of fear that had clouded her, but she was too numb to respond. Too nervous. “Somebody get Azriel!”

Her panic grew and her breathing turned shallow. It was too soon. She wasn’t ready, wasn’t prepared enough. The anxiety of giving birth hit her like a freight train.

She couldn’t do this.

She couldn’t.

~~~~~

Azriel took a swig of his beer, rolling his eyes at the cad comment Rhys made. His tanned skin warmed in the sunlight even with the sleeves of his button-down rolled up to his elbows. With a glance at the large window, he caught Elain rising from her spot on the couch, Kaden gripping her dress to speak with her.

Gods, that fucking dress. Elain looked like a maternal goddess in it, emphasizing her swollen belly, brimming with the life of his children. Az never realized he had a breeding kink until he and Elain got back together. His desire to fill her with his seed, to watch her grow with life had him hardening in his pants.

Now at eight months, she had reached the stage where little things irked the hell out of her. Honestly, her temper was cute as hell, but he tried to be considerate of her exhaustion and short-fuse, offering himself up to take the heat of her ire. It was only fair—he’s the one that got her pregnant.

It may have made him a primitive, alpha-douchebag, but fuck did he love to see her waddling around, pregnant and barefoot in their home. She was already such a wonderful mother to their boy, Kaden. Cassian had been right. He was so incredibly grateful for Elain’s maternal instinct.

“Something caught your eye, brother?” Cassian taunted, grinning. His brother knew exactly what he was looking at. Or whom.

He shot him a dry look that had Cash chuckling.

“If she wasn’t already pregnant, I’d say that look alone could’ve knocked her up,” he teased. “Who knew you had such a kink, Az.”

Azriel opened his mouth to retort, but the sliding glass door opening caught his attention.

Nuala peeked her head out, a worried look on her face that had his stomach tightening in knots. “Azriel! Get in here now!”

But he was already moving, dropping his drink on the table and running after her into the house, his brothers and friends hot on his heels. He froze in the entryway of the kitchen, taking in the scene for a split second before his eyes settled on Elain bent over the counter, a puddle of clear liquid beneath her.

His feet ate up the space between them in three long strides, her name falling from his lips as he cupped her face and forced her gaze on his. Azriel prided himself in knowing exactly what Elain was feeling, what she was thinking by just the look on her face. He read her better than he did himself. So, seeing the blatant apprehension and worry written as clearly as a tattoo on her forehead had his heart racing in his chest.

Her eyes were wet with the tears he could tell she was trying to hold back.

“Love,” he said quietly, unsure how to proceed at the moment.

She blinked like hearing him cleared a bit of the fog that had washed over her. “Azriel.” Her voice cracked.

He folded her into his arms, trying to soothe whatever worries were troubling her. “You’re okay, my love.”

Elain seemed to melt in his embrace, her tension slowly ebbing away the longer he held her. He gave her whatever time she needed, ignoring the audience they had around them, but it was long enough for another contraction to hit. She cried out, gripping his hand in hers and squeezing tight.

Viviane snapped into action at that. “Azriel, her contractions are about nine minutes apart now. She’s going to have at least two more by the time you reach the hospital.”

“No hospitals,” Elain growled.

That had him pulling back to look down at her. “El, the babies are coming—”

“No. Hospitals.” He could see the wavering in her face. “I—,” she paused, hesitating. “They’re not ready. It’s too early. Too soon. They can’t come out yet…” Her head fell until she was looking at the wetness still sitting on the floor. “I’m not ready,” Elain whispered so quietly, that he almost missed it.

Azriel knew that was nerves speaking. While Kaden made them parents, the idea of giving birth to the twins was the primary source of her fear. The books he read said that many expectant mothers experienced this type of anxiety right around the time they went into labor. If they were going to have any success in her having a smooth birth, Azriel needed to get her to calm down. He glanced at Cassian. “Can you get her a chair?”

His brother grabbed one from the dining room, setting it out for Az to carefully guide Elain into. He knelt in front of her, keeping her hands clasped firmly in his. “Elain, sweetheart,” her dark eyes latched onto his, needing to hear his reassurance. He kept his voice low, wishing they didn’t have to have this conversation in front of their friends and family.

Rhys seemed to sense that and began ushering people out of the room. “Let’s give the couple a few minutes.”

He shot his brother a grateful look before returning his attention to Elain. “Sweetheart, I know you’re scared. I know it’s earlier than we were expecting. But if there is one thing that I am certain of is that you can do this.” He squeezed her hands in comfort. “You are the strongest person I know. You’ve been through so much that once all is said and done, you’re going to look at me and tell me that this was the easy part. I promise you that if anyone can do this, it’s you. And I will be right by your side for every step, holding your hand, giving you ice chips, and bearing whatever you need me to bear to bring our children into the world.”

She sniffed, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re sure?”

“Without a doubt, Elain. You can do this.” He brought their joined hands up to his mouth, kissing her fingers and letting her absorb whatever confidence she needed. “So, what do you say? Are you ready to have our babies, love?”

Elain huffed a laugh, his words settling the nerves she had. “Yes, let’s go have our babies,” she breathed, her grin taking over her entire face, lasting all of thirty seconds before a look of panic took root once more. “Az, the birthing bag is still at the house.”

He let out an undignified snort. “Do you think after having that contraction in front of me this morning, I’d leave the house without having absolutely everything packed and ready to go? Come on, baby, you know me better than that. It’s all in the back of the car.”

She blinked in surprise. “The birthing bag and my pillow?”

“In the car,” he confirmed.

“Kaden’s overnight bag?”

“In the car.”

“The car seats for the twins?”

He scoffed. “You know I installed those weeks ago, try again.”

Her lips quired up at the corner. “What about the slippers I was wearing this morning?” she asked, thinking she had him.

Az rolled his eyes in playful exasperation. “I grabbed them when I snagged the birthing bag.” He kissed her hands again. “I’ve got you, love.”

And then she was leaning forward, kissing him with so much love and devotion, he felt it down to the soul she brought back to life. The sound of their family’s cheers forced them apart, a pretty blush dusting the tops of Elain’s cheeks, but she didn’t dare look away from him.

Without looking away from her, Azriel reached into his pocket, pulled out his keys, and tossed them to Rhys. “Can you grab Kaden’s bag from the trunk? The one with dinosaurs. And then Elain’s purple one as well.”

Elain’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Why is he grabbing mine?”

His lips pulled up into a knowing grin, brushing the shell of her ear as he leaned forward to whisper, “I thought you might like to change your underwear and put on a maternity pad for the ride to the hospital.”

Her cheeks heated in embarrassment, but she nodded in agreement.  

A little body shuffled closer. “Momma?” Kaden murmured, looking so very worried over the state of his mother.

She held her arms out, motioning him forward. “C’mere sweetheart.” Elain tucked him into her chest, kissing the top of his head. “You’re going to stay here with Aunt Feyre and Uncle Rhys while Daddy and I go to the hospital to have your brother and sister.”

He looked up at her with those puppy-dog eyes and damn, the kid knew how to work them. “But I want to go with you!” His lower lip quivered and Azriel could tell he was on the verge of tears.

But his wife took it in stride, cupping his little face in her palms and swiping her thumbs across his cheeks. “I know, sweetheart. I know you do. But you’ll have a much better time here with your aunt and uncle. Momma’s not going to be fun to be around until your siblings are here.” She kissed his plump cheek. “But I promise that you will be the first to see us once they arrive. Okay?”

Feyre stepped forward, reaching out a hand for their son. “Come on, Kaden. We’ll have lots of fun eating all the desserts left over.” She shot them a wink when he finally relented, taking her fingers.

After cleaning her up as best as he could and getting her a maternity pad from her bag, he and Elain were in the car on the way to the hospital. As Viviane predicted, she had two more contractions on the way, grabbing his offered hand and the “oh shit” bar as she groaned her way through it. And then promptly went into a third one right as they arrived.

Az timed them out, still sitting about nine minutes apart. “Breathe, baby. Good, love. Just like that.” His thumb grazed the back of her hand. Her grip was tight, on the verge of painful, but he didn’t dare let his face flinch or show an ounce of discomfort. She needed his strength and that’s exactly what he was going to give her.

They were immediately escorted to their private room and Elain’s vitals were checked over. She was sitting at only two centimeters dilated, which meant they were looking at being there for a bit.

Between her contractions, he swapped out his clothes for a fitted black t-shirt and grey sweatpants to get more comfortable and then sent a text to their siblings to notify them that they were in and settled, but it would be a while before they would have any progress.

“Can you check in with Kaden?” Elain asked, taking a scoop of ice chips from her cup.

The corner of his lips curled up at the question. “I already did. Feyre said he wouldn’t leave the front window for a while and had to persuade him with his baby cousin and a lot of sweet treats.”

She snorted, shaking her head. “He’s going to have a mouth full of cavities before we get home.” Elain twisted to look at him. “Do you think we made the right decision by not letting him come with us? It sounds like he’s waiting for us to return. I know that some families let their little ones be present for the birth of their siblings and we discussed it—”

He interrupted her train of thought. “I think we made the right call, love. We’re going to be here for a while and we both know that things can upset him. I don’t know how well he’d handle watching you go through that.”

She nodded but didn’t look very convinced.

Azriel reached for her hand, covering it with his own and squeezing her fingers. “He’s safe and well-cared for. Remember that while we focus on bringing his little brother and sister into the world.” He brushed his lips over her knuckles in a sweet kiss.

Elain smiled softly at him. “Okay.”

And so, they waited.

Per his wife’s birthing plan, she wanted to attempt to go natural. Azriel admired her strength and resilience in doing so. But after over sixteen hours of hard labor, he could see her resolve fading.

He stroked her cheek, fingers brushing hair behind her ear. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

Dark circles already lined the underneath part of her eyes. She looked so weary. “I’m so tired, Az.” Her voice came out nearly broken and fuck if that didn’t just rip his beating heart from his chest.

Kissing her forehead, he murmured, “Do you want to get the epidural? It’ll help you get some much-needed rest before the delivery.” As of now, she was only at seven centimeters and the doctor had said it could still be a while longer until she reached a full ten.

Her chin dipped in confirmation. “Please.”

Azriel didn’t waste time calling for the nurse. Within ten minutes, he watched as a grossly large needle was inserted into her back, sending that relief washing over her. He peppered her face with kisses during the procedure, murmuring words of praise and comfort in her ear as she gritted her teeth through it.

Elain spent the next eight hours in a fitful sleep, dosing off and waking up not long after each time. Azriel didn’t bother to try and sleep, not when she wasn’t really getting much at all.

But finally, after just past nine, she was fully dilated and ready to push.

His wife pushed and pushed and pushed for a half hour with nothing to show for it. She was in tears, frustrated, and so exhausted he was practically supporting all her weight having slid an arm around her shoulders to keep her upright.

“I can’t, I can’t,” she sobbed, half burying her face into his chest.

“You can, love. You’re so strong. Just a little bit more,” he tried to reassure her. It fucking killed him to see her like this.

“Can’t you do it for me?” she pleaded, looking up at him with wild, desperate eyes.

He gripped her cheek in his palm, kissing her temple. “You know I would, El. I would give anything to switch places with you right now. But I know you can do this. Just a few more pushes and then they’ll be here.”

Whatever she read within his words seemed to do the trick, her brows furrowing with a determination he hadn’t seen since they left the house. Elain pushed herself up, trying to get into a kneeling position, and he was right there, sliding behind her and supporting her weight.

The nurses squawked, muttering something about hospital policy, but frankly, he did not give a fuck, snarling, “Her body is telling her to push like this. Listen to your fucking patient.”

Changing the position was exactly what she needed because their son was born within the next two contractions, entering the world with a healthy set of lungs.

They sagged back against the pillows, his face wet with tears as they placed their new baby directly on Elain’s bared chest. He couldn’t stop himself from tipping her head back to kiss her softly on the lips, pausing the savor the moment.

Az traced the pads of his fingers over the curve of their boy’s cheek, just needing to touch him to prove he was here with them. Even covered in fluids, he was so beautiful. The perfect blend of the two of them.

The nurses gave them just a few minutes with the first baby before Doctor Chen said that she needed to start pushing again. She took their boy from Elain’s arms, promising to bring him back for Azriel after he was cleaned up and their daughter was born.

Delivery of their little girl went easier than with their son. But whereas their boy came out crying, their daughter came out silent.

Azriel knew something was wrong just by the silence, but it only grew the anxiety in his stomach when the doctor turned her back on them, taking their little one with her to work on.

“She’s not crying,” Elain breathed, worry clouding her voice.

He could only squeeze her shoulders in comfort, watching as they shoved things into her nose and mouth.

“Suction,” Chen ordered.

“Azriel, why isn’t she crying?”

“She’s going to be okay, love. They’re helping her. She’s okay.” The words passed his lips even as his heart dropped into his stomach when they started doing compressions on her tiny body.

No.

This couldn’t be happening. They couldn’t lose her. It would kill him to lose his little girl, but Elain, fuck, he couldn’t even begin to fathom the devastation she would face at this loss. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t pay to fix this or threaten someone to save their baby girl.

So, he did what any father would do.

He prayed.

He prayed to every god, every deity, everything, and anything he could think of to keep his little girl safe and bring her back to them. To take her place if they demanded it. A life for a life. He’d pay it for his child, his family. “Come on,” he murmured. “Come on, baby. Come on.”

Elain curved her face into the side of his chest, howling in a way he’d never heard from her before.

His arms went around her, that dreaded feeling turning his blood cold. The terror he felt of their little one dead before she lived was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. But still, he did not stop praying, clutching Elain’s shaking body to his. “Come on, little one. Come on!” he chanted. “Please.”

And then, a rattled cough tore from her tiny body, followed by the sweet, beautiful sound of her cry.

Elain’s wail turned into relieved sobs, as the doctor walked over their bundled little girl and placed her into his wife’s awaiting arms.

“Somebody was just so excited to meet you, she took a breath a little too early, but we cleared out her passages and lungs and she looks good now.”

His wife tucked their daughter into her chest, kissing the top of her head. “Hi sweet girl, Momma’s here,” she whispered, tears still falling down her cheeks. Tears that matched the ones running down his face.

She was here. His baby girl. Fuck, she looked just like him, with dark hair and tanned skin. He hadn’t gotten a look at her eyes yet, but already she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Here you go, Mr. Archeron-Knight,” one of the other nurses said, pulling his attention from his wife and daughter as she handed him his son, cleaned up and wrapped in a soft blanket.

The small bundle was gently laid in the crook of his elbow. Azriel didn’t think he’d ever feel the amount of love he did on Kaden’s adoption day, but sitting here with his gorgeous wife, holding their newborn twins, he felt his heart soar in his chest.

Sweaty and fatigued, Elain glanced up at his face, the sweetest, exhausted smile pulling on her lips. “I love you,” she murmured.

He let out a sound that was a cross between a chuckle and a sob. “I love you more.” And then he kissed her, sealing that moment in time with his undying love for her.

~~~~~

Elain woke to the sound of a whimpering cry, swiftly followed by Azriel’s low voice.

“Hey, sweet girl. What’s wrong, huh?” She heard some shuffling as her husband lifted their daughter from the nursery bed. “Momma needs her sleep so we need to be quiet.” He kept his voice low enough to not disturb her—fuck she loved him so much—but she was already awake, rolling over in the hospital bed to face him.

Azriel holding his children was, hands down, the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. How she could even feel the need for him after pushing two babies out of her currently aching and severely injured body was beyond her, but just watching him bounce their fussing daughter made all those desires come roaring to the surface.

Almost as if he could sense her presence, hazel eyes slid to hers. “I’ve got her, love. Go back to sleep.” His voice remained soft as night as if anything louder would disturb her.

She curled up on her side, watching him. “I think we should get used to no sleep now.”

He huffed a laugh, patting Rosalie on her back as she further settled into the crook of his elbow.

Their daughter was almost two pounds smaller than her brother, coming in right at five whereas Ryder was a healthy six pounds, fourteen ounces. The doctor was a little concerned over Rosalie’s lower birth weight, but Elain had managed to get both babies to latch and feed earlier and she ate well, so they were mainly playing it by ear.

Because of her smaller size, Azriel already placed an order for some preemie clothes and sent a photo of her with the twins to their siblings. They asked to give them a day to recuperate before coming to the hospital in the morning. After the scare with Rosalie, both she and Azriel wanted to take some time to spend with the babies. Plus, the medical team was in and out of their room, taking Rosalie for some additional tests just to be sure everything looked good.

It was just after seven that night, and they were settling in for the evening. Tired of hospital food, Azriel ordered hamburgers from DoorDash for them to eat. Elain was starving and it sounded so good that she drooled when she suggested it to him. Both babies had been fed only an hour earlier and she anticipated not having another feeding till late evening or early morning.

Elain grabbed whatever sleep she could, knowing she’d need it when they were released in a couple of days, but she was sure Azriel hadn’t slept a wink since she’d gone into labor.

She pushed herself up, reclining on her pillows. The nurses cleaned her after the delivery and stitched her up from tearing, but Elain couldn’t wait to get home and take a proper shower. “Does she need to be changed?” she asked, nodding to the now-sleeping baby in her husband’s arms.

Azriel shook his head. “No, I think she was just fussing.” His dark hair was still mussed up from when he stripped out of his shirt earlier, taking time for skin-to-skin contact with each of the twins.

Elain had to rein in her laugh at how the nurse blushed as he revealed miles of gloriously tanned, tattooed skin and corded muscle. Her husband was a fine specimen, but he never flaunted it, so seeing another woman react to it was humorous especially since he didn’t even seem to notice her blushing, stammering state.

“You should sleep too, Az,” she said instead.

He looked at her, his lips curving up. It had been doing that a lot since the birth of the twins. The sweetest, smallest smile that crept up the corners of his mouth. Almost as if he didn’t even realize he was doing it. It was utterly adorable and made him look younger. “I’ll rest later. You need it more than me.”

Her shoulders shook in amusement. “You know, we can sleep when they do.”

“I just don’t want to miss a second of them.” His attention returned to his little girl who already had him wrapped around her finger. To be fair, all of their children did. “Fuck, I can’t believe they’re here already. It seems like it was only a month ago you found out you were pregnant.”

“I can’t believe our first anniversary is coming up in just a handful of weeks.”

At that, he laughed. “I guess a trip for our anniversary is out of the question?”

She grinned. “Not unless all our little ones are coming with us.” Because like hell was she going to be able to leave them so soon. Plus with her nursing, it just wouldn’t be ideal.

He seemed to consider her. “We could take the jet to the Summer District. Kaden will be out of school then and we’ll both still be out on leave. Just a thought.”

Gods, he was fucking perfect. “That might be nice.”

A knock on the door interrupted whatever he was going to say. He frowned in confusion, looking at her.

Elain shrugged, sitting up further on her bed. “Come in,” she called out.

She thought it might be a nurse or a doctor, coming to check on her or the twins. What she didn’t expect was for Rhys to peek his head into the room. Surprise lit her features and she glanced at Azriel, who looked equally as bewildered at the sudden visit from their brother.

“Hey,” Rhys said. “I apologize for dropping by unannounced, but somebody really couldn’t wait till tomorrow to see you.” He opened the door slightly, revealing Kaden clutching a teddy bear, eyes puffy and red from crying.

Her heart ached at the distress their son must’ve been in for Rhys to come all the way here. “Hello sweetheart,” she said, keeping her voice soft. “Come here, my love.”

He took a small step further into the room, Rhys’s hand guiding him at the backside of his head. Kaden took slow steps as he approached the side of her bed. “Momma, are you sick?”

She reached out to cup his cheek in her palm. “No, baby. I’m not sick. Your brother and sister decided it was time to come out of my tummy.” Her eyes found Azriel’s as he rose from his seat on the couch, moving toward them. “Would you like to meet them?” she asked, returning her gaze to Kaden’s.

His head dipped in confirmation.

Elain pushed herself back even more. “Rhys, can you help him up and then grab me that flat pillow over there.”

He set the boy on the bed between her spread legs, Kaden shuffling backward and bumping into her sensitive lower area.

She hissed out in pain before she could stop herself. A wave of agony washed over her with enough intensity that her stomach curdled with nausea.

Azriel reacted immediately. “Easy, buddy. Momma’s going to be sore for a while and we need to be extra careful with her.”

“I’m okay,” she spoke quickly, not wanting to upset Kaden any more than he already was, and kissed his plump cheek as she breathed through the pain. “Okay, Rhys. Place the pillow over our laps.”

Adjusting his arms in preparation, Azriel gently lowered their daughter until she comfortably rested on the nursing pillow.

“Kaden, this is your sister, Rosalie,” he announced, letting his finger stroke her rounded cheek.

Elain couldn’t see his face directly, but she did catch his eyes widening as he stared down at her, his fingers carefully tracing over her delicate features just as his father did.

“Rosawee,” he said, not quite catching the ending syllable. It would be something they would have to work on. When she kicked a leg within her swaddle, he pulled his hand back, startled.

She laughed, feeling the bed dip as Azriel sat down next to them, bringing over their son. “And this is your brother, Ryder.”

He reached out to trace the outline of his brows, the touch gentle and exploratory. “I’m a brother?” he asked, turning his head to look up at her.

“That’s right sweetheart. You’re their big brother, and they’re going to love you so much,” she told him, kissing the top of his head.

Elain took in her family, her incredible husband, and three beautiful children. It sounded so wild to even think about. She was a wife and a mother. Thinking back, she remembered the day that had changed the trajectory of her life forever. The bank robbery a few years back. It was crazy to think how such a terrifying moment altered her life in the best of ways. It brought her back to the love of her life.

It put her on this very path.

She’d face every one of the moments since then tenfold as long as it brought her to this point in time, sitting here with her gorgeous little family.

“Perfect.”

She looked up at Rhys, catching him with his phone out.

“Your first family photo.”

Her lips turned up and silver lined her eyes. “Thank you, Rhys.”

He waved her off. “Do you want me to take Kaden back with me?”

“No,” Azriel said, ruffling his eldest son’s hair. “He can stay here with us tonight. Can you put his booster seat in our car? The keys are in my bag.”

“You got it.” He grabbed the keys but paused on the threshold. “And congratulations you guys. Rosalie and Ryder are beautiful.”

Azriel leaned further into her side, kissing her temple. “Thank you, brother.” Once alone, he turned her head toward his, bringing her mouth to his for a slow, sweet kiss. “I love you so damn much, Elain.”

His smile was infectious, making her lips turn up at the corners. “Thank you, Azriel, for giving me this life—these babies. You have made me the happiest I could ever imagine. I love you.”

“Momma! She’s got my finger,” Kaden’s giggle interrupted their moment.

They laughed, looking at their three beautiful children.

Elain knew that this perfect moment was just the very beginning of the rest of their lives.

~~~~~

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[lisannastraussisanangel]

Oooh body horror of dragon slayers love to see what u come up with 😈 ~

You get me! I'm so excited to do this!

Natsu's veins look like actual lava. Most times its very faint and you can't see it but when he gets mad they glow

His blood is so hot that it burns through things. He got a nose bleed once and melted a table

If he uses dragon force too often, his skin starts to blister and peel like super bad burns.

He also has a ton of burn scars. He didn't build up a tolerance to heat overnight and almost all of his body has rough, painful looking scars (little Natsu was always wrapped in bandages)

Gajeel's dead skin is straight iron and can give people tiny cuts. He wears a ton of lotion because any bit of roughness can hurt the people close to him

This is also the case for cuts on his body. The edges of the wounds sharpen and make it almost impossible to get stitches or bandages. He's also injured several doctors

His eyes and skin end up yellowing with age because of the extreme amount of iron in his body

His skin is either insanely cold or hot. If he gets too hot his skin turns bright red and sizzles. Too cold and he can actually freeze over (also yes, he rusts especially around his fingers and toes)

If Wendy uses her Dragon Force too much, she starts sprouting little feather nubs in her normal form. She has to pull them out with tweezers. It's very painful

Overtime her face and hands develop muscle spasms and tremors. She has a hard time controlling her expressions and gets to the point where she can't even hold items because her hands shake so violently

When she uses too much magic, her skin starts to turn blue from lack of oxygen. She has passed out from it before but it's very rare. The blue is almost every time and her lips are now constantly blue

Her finger nails are black/brown from the lack of oxygen in her blood. Overtime her finger tips turn the same color, but the nails start soon after her first dragon force (she hid it by painting her nails but had to tell others once her actual fingers started to turn)

Laxus' veins are also insane. They mostly look crazy like lighting bolts across his entire body. Drawing blood from him is a nightmare. Especially because his veins are incredibly thin too

He also has a shit ton of burn scars. More so on his hands and arms but also the inside of his mouth is incredibly scarred because of use of his magic

His entire back is covered in those lightning bolt scars too. They are not super visible but if you get up close it's insane

Erik's blood is straight acid. Just a papercut is enough to seriously injure someone. It's so strong that he can't even be operated on.

His skin is super thin. Like if you shine a strong flashlight on him, you can see all his veins and stuff

Because Sting's entire body makes light, he has like an insane amount of sun damage. His skin is very rough, cracked, and often has random burn spots scattered around his body

Rogue straight up feels like a dead body. When he was a kid, he looked like one too. Too skinny, bones popping out, super pale, and cold. As he got older he learned how to bulk up, but his magic still takes it's toll on his body

His pupils are always super big. Like you can barely see his eye color because his pupils are massive. Because of this, his eyes look absolutely massive

[shoukiko]

Merry Christmas, Simon

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader

Tags: Fluff....just fluff lol

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: I've been working on this for a bit, just waiting to post it today, I'm all antsy, I really hope you guys like it.

You’ve worked with TF141 for the past three years. Price spoke to Laswell, saying that he thought the team deserved some type of break, so he and Laswell came up with an “amazing holiday getaway” to “a hidden oasis where the only sounds you hear are the rustling leaves and the soothing melody of birdsong.”. It was a small cabin in the middle of nowhere, for safety reasons, but you were all grateful for it. It was 2 weeks away, a day would’ve been fine, but she insisted.

It was a week and two days into the trip, snowing outside, your turn for chores. Soap and Gaz sat on the couch in front of an old television watching some soap opera. Price is sitting in one of the lounge chairs, asleep with his arms crossed as his head dangles. You’re tidying up the kitchen after a late dinner, you turn to look at the clock hung on the wall which reads, 12:05. You realize what this entails as you turn to the three men.

“Merry Christmas, guys!” You say cheerfully in their direction. 

“Merry Christmas, Lass.” Soap says from his seat, he nudges Gaz to respond. “Ah- Yea Merry Christmas…” He seems to be too focused on the TV show, who can blame him, those telenovelas are addicting. You decide against waking Price up, the man needs his sleep. As you turn back to the sink you feel a tap on your left shoulder, you turn to see Ghost’s tall dark figure hovering over you, sporting his casual skull balaclava.

“Oh, hey. What’s up?” You tilt your head as you ask, genuinely curious as to what he could need that requires a tap on the shoulder instead of him outright asking.

“You got a minute? Wanted to see if we could have a quick chat.” His tone is somewhat nervous? He isn’t as husky or gritty as usual. “Sure, let me finish up and-” He cuts you off before you can finish. “It’s important. I’ll help you out after.” 

Must really be important if the Ghost tells you it is. “Alright.” You wipe your hands on your apron, untying it from your back and hanging it up on a nearby chair. “Grab your coat.” He dons his own coat, all in one fell swoop. You grab yours, putting it on. 

You both head outside to the porch, each taking a seat on the swinging bench that hangs from the veranda. “Ah wait here-” He says, standing once more, he heads inside and comes back hiding something in his coat. “Whatcha got there, Mister?” You ask him as he sits back down, the bench shifts slightly from his weight.

He pulls out a plastic bag that contains multiple little things, he hands it to you. Taking notice of the slight blush at the end of his fingertips you slowly take the bag. “Merry Christmas… Sorry, didn’t get to wrap it.” A bashful tone in his voice.

“You.. got me something? Man, I feel a little bad, if I would’ve known I would’ve done the same..” You say, hesitating to open it. “Don’t fret over it… Are you gonna open it or just stare at it?”

“Ah right- Sorry” You carefully reach into the bag and pull out one of the small items. It’s… 

“Socks! You got me socks?!” A smile appears on your face, beaming in the night. Despite the mask, his eyes crinkled with a smile. “There’s more if you look.” 

You open the bag more and find more small items, a small tube of vanilla scented lotion, a notepad, and some cinnamon wax melts. You’re happy, but oh so confused by the difference of each item.

“This is… Thank you. I really love it, but what’s with the theme?” You ask with a laugh.

“Well…” He pauses to think for a minute. “It’s all things you wanted.” “Huh..?”

“A couple days ago you said you couldn’t find your winter socks, then you said you forgot your hand cream back at home, then you said while eating dinner two nights ago that you love the smell of cinnamon during Christmas because it reminds you of good memories from your childhood.” You’re taken aback, you don’t remember saying any of these things until he brings it up, such small things and yet he remembers. 

“You… you actually remember?” A faint blush appears on your face as you scan over your new gifts, suddenly feeling warm despite the subzero temperatures. “Uhm.. Thank you.. Really. Was this what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, actually.” His expression becomes somber as he closes his eyes and takes a breath, he turns his body slightly and rests his arm on the back of the bench. “Look, I don’t know how else to bring this up.”

“What’s wrong?”

Ghost grips the back of the bench before meeting your eyes.

"Listen, I've been thinkin' a lot lately, and I reckon I need to be straight with you. You mean a proper lot to me, more than I can put into words. I'm mad about you, every single goddamn I hear your voice or that stupid laugh.. It’s like something shifts in me. I care about you, more than  I have about anyone in a long time, but…”

Your heart beating out of your chest, uncertain on how to respond. All you can let out is a

“But..?”

He looks down, almost like he’s ashamed before responding.

“I’m.. scared, terrified. Of hurting you.. Or you getting into an accident during a mission. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you.” His tone is serious, but you can hear a sense of fear.

You look at him with genuine eyes, you almost can’t believe what’s happening in front of you, the Ghost confessing his feelings for you. “But…” He continues. “If you’ll have me, I’m willing to take that leap into uncertainty with you. If… you want.”

You look at him as if you’re a deer caught in headlights. You begin to lose your breath, blinking,  unable to process what was said to you. You take a moment before replying…

“I- I….” You struggle to find the words, you want to scream, but you also want to take it slow and really talk about it. You can see him become antsy, your silence bringing tension to the cold air around you. “Ghost I..”

“It’s fine.” He interrupts.

“What?”

“It’s fine, I know it’s sudden. I’m sorry.” He says, there's a slight hurt in his voice, he goes to stand. Just then you grab his arm, stopping him.

“I want.” “...What..?” “You said if I want…. Well.. I want, I don’t know how else to say it. I do want to be with you. I want to jump into that uncertainty with you. Please.” There’s a tinge of desperation in your voice, you feel as if you say nothing now, you will never have this opportunity again.

Ghost looks as if a wave of relief has washed over him. 

“I thought you were gonna make me think I said all that for nothin’.” His eyes crinkle slightly as he adjusts himself once more.

“I’m sorry, I got nervous, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.” You begin to fidget with your hands in your lap, a faint blush appearing on your faces as you turn away. 

You feel him inching closer to you, the heat from his body radiating, bringing warmth for both of you to share.

He softly grabs your face with his right hand, turning you towards him. You take glances at his mask and eyes, unable to lock on a single thing. He pulls up his mask just above his nose and leans in, pressing his lips against yours. Only a few seconds before you lean into him, grabbing onto the sleeve of his coat. He places a hand on the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. You pull away for just a second to catch your breath. The both of you share a look, complete silence, then..

He chuckles, “Well then..” You place a hand on your mouth as you stare at him, stifling a small laugh. “That was something.” You manage to say through your giggles. You place your hand on his, a loving smile forms on your lips. He begins to caress the back of your hand, his touch gentle, yet warm. “Thank you…. Merry Christmas, Doll.” He looks up at you with gentle eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Simon.”

[erikahenningsen]

Regina visiting Janis at work

If Janis gets fired from this job, it will not be because she is bad at selling moderately priced soaps. She's actually not bad at it, although all her job really consists of is ringing people up and restocking the shelves.

No, if she gets fired, it will be Regina's fault. Every time she walks in the store, Janis knows that this day could be her last.

Like today: Regina plunks a jar of hand cream on the counter in front of Janis and complains, "This smells bad."

"Then don't buy it," Janis tells her, making a notation on her inventory clipboard. She takes the jar and sets it aside, knowing Regina won't put it back in the right place, if she puts it back at all.

"Who would want their hands to smell like spearmint?" Regina asks, wrinkling her nose.

"People who aren't you."

"It's gross," Regina says. "I don't know how this store stays in business."

"We carry a variety of scents for a variety of people," Janis recites tiredly.

Regina leans against the counter and sighs dramatically. She does look very pretty today, wearing a shirt with a plunging neckline—coupled with the way Regina is leaning over the counter, Janis momentarily forgets the difference between hand cream and hand soap.

"Can I help you with something?" Janis asks exasperatedly. "Because I really need to get this done."

"I'm bored," Regina whines.

Janis gestures to the exit of the store, which leads into the mall. "Then go to one of the many other establishments."

Regina touches the inside of Janis's wrist, right over her pulse point. "But you're here," she says, managing to make it sound more like a complaint than an endearment.

Nevertheless, it makes Janis's chest warm that Regina wants to spend time with her, even if she doesn't particularly want to be doing it here—that Regina will endure apparently offensive odors just to hang out with Janis.

"Um, excuse me?"

Janis looks up to see a lady around her mom's age. "Hi," Janis greets.

The woman slides a piece of paper over the counter along with a tube of body lotion. "I have this coupon," she says.

Janis takes the coupon and looks at it, then frowns. "Sorry, but this expired a couple of weeks ago," she says apologetically. "The promotion is over."

The woman stares at her. "It's expired?" she asks.

"Yes, sorry," Janis apologizes again.

"But I was out of town," the woman says. "I couldn't have gotten here before it expired."

Janis sighs internally. She has a conversation like this every time the store does some kind of promotion or sale. "Unfortunately I can't accept it," she says, as firmly as she can.

"But—"

"She said no," Regina cuts in, glaring at the lady. "Your inability to read the fine print is your problem."

"Regina!" Janis hisses at the same time the woman says, "Excuse me?"

Regina turns to Janis and widens her eyes, like she has no idea why Janis is scolding her.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," Janis starts, "I—"

"I'd like to speak to your manager," the woman says curtly.

"How do you know I'm not the manager?" Regina says, stepping closer.

Janis grabs her arm, nails digging in warningly. "She is not the manager," Janis says, ignoring the dirty look Regina gives her.

"Janis?"

Janis briefly closes her eyes before turning to see her actual manager.

"What's going on?" he asks, bewildered.

"Banned," Janis says to Regina in a low tone. "You're banned from this store."

"Fine!" Regina huffs. "I didn't need to buy foot cream for my grandma, anyway."

Ten minutes after Regina storms off, while Janis is being lectured by her manager, she receives a text.

Regina George: bored. miss you

[denial-permanente]

Hi,have you experienced any long term damage with lock up??I'm on 3 months and going crazy😬😬but wanted to know of any potential damage???Thanks for your time and enjoy!!

🔏 Tom here. First, I'm going to say that I am only one data point. I am a fit, healthy guy with an average sized penis. We have been at this for something like 25 years, and I do not have any medical or health issues as a result.

That said, I am very health conscious, and am educated in how my body operates. I wear cages that I determine to fit appropriately. The cages are snug to prevent erections, but not so snug they crimp or cramp anything. The cuff ring likewise is snug, but not cutting off circulation. I do not insert anything into my urethra. Every morning I put a dab of lotion on a cotton swab and smear it around inside the cage, then wash it out at night in a shower.

Over the years I have seen reports from guys who claim to have damaged themselves wearing a cage. Unfortunately, there's no way to determine if they just really did something negligent, or if their anatomy really just isn't suited for this. I tend to think the former, but because of the wide variety of men's anatomy, I refrain from comment.

I do, however, have some opinions. The micro nub and flat cages (and now the new "innie" cages) are not suitable for continuous, long term wear. They force your body tissue to bunch up. At the very least, this causes folds and pockets in the skin that can't easily be cleaned without frequently removing the device. At worst, I think there's a risk of kinking the inner erectile tissue, causing mis-shaped erections.

And while some guys use catheter style cages, I think that there's more of a risk for bacteria to wander into the pipes, causing bladder or UTI infections.

Some of the metal cages have a tip that is nearly impossible to line up for urination, which is guaranteed to make urine splash back into the tube, leaving it against the skin. That's a possibility for irritation.

Some of the metal cages have bad welds, or seams that allow gunk to build up. Even regular cleaning may not be enough, and they need to be regularly removed for a good soak in boiling water and disinfectant.

Some of the plastic cages have "pores" in the surface that may harbor skin oils and bacteria, leading to a funky smell. Again, those cages need to be removed more often for a good cleaning.

All this is probably more than you wanted to hear, but you asked for it. I do not think that being locked is inherently dangerous - the millions of devices sold in the past couple of decades attests to that - but like anything else, one needs to pay attention to playing safely.

[danikamariewrites]

Hello!! I loved your anxiety headcanons with cassian🩷 could you do a Rhys version if possible?

Hope you are doing well🩷🩷😊

Rhys x anxious!reader headcanon

Rhys is all about mental health awareness

He’d notice your anxious ticks and actions when you were just friends

When you started dating you two decided to be honest about your feelings

You always told Rhys about your anxiety and how you were feeling

If you didn’t feel like talking you’d let him in your head

You and Rhys would both do check-ins on bad days. You’d pop into his office and make sure he was ok, “talk to me Rhys. You have a lot going on.” And he’d usually say, “it’s ok to talk about it. I’ll listen, always.”

Your go to thing is to pick at your lips or at your fingers

Bc of this your lips are always chapped

Rhys gets a special lip balm made for you to help heal them

He also gets you a special hand lotion that heals the cuts and scarring around your nails

A lot of the time when your anxiety acts up you keep inside

You never want to be seen as a burden

Keeping your feelings in makes you clench your jaw which causes tinnitus (I have this it’s bad lol)

At night Rhys can tell your jaw is tense especially if you’ve been extra anxious that day

He has you lay your head in his lap while he massage your jaw, “just relax, darling. I got you.”

Going out never bothers you since Rita’s and other Velaris restaurants and clubs are so familiar to you

It’s High Lord meetings that ties your stomach in knots. They’re so unpredictable especially with Beron still alive, keeping Eris’ secret, and making sure you stay civil with the other courts

You always grip Rhys’ hand super tight and constantly check in mind-to-mind

“Are things ok? I can’t tell.” “Everything is perfectly fine, darling.” And he send you a small smile

[your-favourite-yapper]

saintcurse x me threeso- i mean uhh saintucrse bad idea right au???

Ok!

[i haven't heard from you in a couple of months / but i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up / and you're callin' my phone you're all alone and i'm sensin' some undertone]

pandora’s phone buzzes against the sticky countertop once twice three times before she picks it up and she shouldn’t she knows she shouldn’t because nothing good ever comes from mary calling in the middle of the night but she’s had six drinks too many and the music is too loud and her head is already spinning so what’s a little more dizziness what’s a little more bad decision making what’s a little more mary in her life

hey she breathes into the receiver and there’s a pause like mary wasn’t expecting her to answer like she thought she’d go to voicemail and that should make pandora feel good should make her feel like she has the upper hand for once but all it does is make her chest ache all it does is make her want to fill the silence so she says something dumb something like what do you want and mary laughs soft and sharp and a little breathless

you’re out she says like she can tell like she can hear the background noise like she knows pandora doesn’t go out like she knows she’s probably already regretting it and pandora doesn’t answer just waits just listens just lets the moment stretch until mary finally sighs finally speaks again i’m sending you my address come over

and pandora should say no should laugh should hang up should go back to her friends should pretend this never happened but mary sounds too close too real too much like everything she’s been trying to drown out for the last few months and the words are out before she can stop them okay

[and i'm right here with all my friends / but you're sendin' me your new address / and i know we're done i know we're through / but god when i look at you]

she stares at the text the little pin of mary’s location blinking on her screen like a beacon like a trap and her friends are talking laughing pulling her back into the conversation but it’s all background noise because mary wants her to come over mary wants to see her mary wants her and that should mean something that should matter that should be enough

it isn’t but pandora grabs her coat anyway tells some half-assed excuse and stumbles out into the night because what else is she supposed to do ignore it act like she doesn’t want this act like she’s not already halfway there in her head

she finds mary outside sitting on the front steps cigarette dangling between her fingers smoke curling around her like an aura like a warning for something inevitable and she looks up and smiles when she sees pandora and it’s all over it’s always all over the second they’re in the same space

i knew you’d come mary says happy smug self assured and still mary and pandora rolls her eyes but doesn’t deny it doesn’t argue doesn’t do anything except stand there waiting waiting waiting for mary to invite her inside for her to say something that makes this feel less stupid less reckless less like she’s walking into a fire she’s already burned in before

mary tilts her head exhales slow and deliberate and says you look good and pandora’s stomach twists and she wants to be mean wants to be cruel wants to say something cutting but all that comes out is so do you

fuck

[my brain goes "ah" can't hear my thoughts / like blah-blah-blah / should probably not i should probably probably not i should probably probably not]

they end up in mary’s room like they always do with the window open and the city humming below them and the taste of sweat, marys lipgloss, smoke, and some new lotion shes tried out and pandora’s hands won’t stop shaking and mary won’t stop looking at her like she’s something to be figured out like she’s something she’s already figured out and that’s the worst part isn’t it that mary always knows exactly how to get to her always knows exactly what to say what to do to make pandora forget that this is a bad idea

i missed you mary murmurs and pandora doesn’t say anything just exhales just leans back just watches the way mary flicks ash onto the windowsill like she isn’t ruining something like this isn’t ruining something like they haven’t already ruined this a hundred times over

you’re bad for me pandora says finally and mary grins all teeth all charm all goddamn trouble i know she says and she sounds so fucking pleased with herself that pandora wants to kiss her or slap her or both at the same time

so why are you here mary asks after a beat and pandora opens her mouth closes it exhales through her nose and then shrugs because what’s the point in pretending anymore what’s the point in lying

because i’m worse for myself she admits and mary’s smile softens just a little just enough to make pandora feel like maybe this is okay maybe this isn’t the worst thing she’s ever done maybe maybe maybe

(the softness disappears just as quick as it came, now you see it now you dont)

and then mary reaches for her slow deliberate a challenge a promise a fucking dare and pandora should probably not she should probably probably not but she does she does she does

[ultrone]

I haven't written anything in awhile and I'm busy 😔

but if you wanna write anything about or with these go ahead!! I'd love to read your take! Or whatever you decide to write for it

(YOU ASKED FOR THIS, I cut some of the darker(?) things drugs, drinking etc. But they are teens who we do know go to parties and act dumb 💀 (me fr))

Also she's a bit out of character...

1. * Perv/stalker Lottie who installed (VERY expensive) cameras in your house to watch you sleep, change, or just go about your day, who has a picture/screenshot of one of the recordings as her wallpaper, and listens to you sleep, or when you get yourself off she... follows. Like a dance, just your moans as music... And you don't know you have a partner, but that's fine for now...

(starting off with a bang)

2. * Stalker Lottie who refuses to sleep after a party unless your home and safe. if you come home with anyone, to sleep with or not, she would make that person's life hell, like one of those, "Do you know who my father is?" Kids. But she actually refuses to talk with or about her father. Just that thing rich kids do in the movies (she either follows you home, drives you home, or immediately goes home to watch her camaras)

3. * Stalker Lottie who has photos of you that she keeps with her at all times just to be like "😄Look at my girlfriend!" and if someone corrects her she's like "My girlfriend nonetheless. 😒" basically her exact reaction: 😄 - 😧 - 😐

4. * Stalker Lottie who wears outfits just to get your attention, even if it makes you feel bad checking her out, she will and does do the same to you, she just does NOT feel bad.

(once she actually starts talking with you↓)

5. * Stalker Lottie who will wake up earlier (IF she sleeps, girls an insomniac she sometimes just watches you) just to drive to your house and drive you to school, mostly on days you guys have practice, better excuse, but sometimes she just can't help it like on really cold days, or hot days! or a night after you've drank to much (she told you to drink more, for that exact reason). Honestly she will find any reason to pick you up.

6. • she will cuddle you, at a party, on the bench at practice, movie night with everyone, you cannot get her off of you. it's like a surgically attached teddy bear. Honestly you can't complain she's really warm, and soft, her lotion smells like rich girl Jasmine type stuff with a hint of lavender. Very earthy but also like a dream? Killer hidden by pretty smells and expensive outfits ❤️❤️

7. • if the movie night is ever at your house, your stuff WILL be gone. Sometimes random things other times whole outfits (considering how tall this woman is, it's always baggy stuff.). Which she will wear to school. Even if it's not something you'd be able to visibly see... and if you ever question how she got clothes that looks (is exactly) like what's missing (Even accessories) she just brushes it off saying something about a thrift store(TJ max 💀) and if you drink during the stay she will tell you drunk you gave it to her so you don't ask to many questions.

8. • has all your pictures from social media saved, even your pets, And she will make it her goal to pamper your pets and you. if you want a pet but can't get one she will have it at her house so you want to visit more.

Anyway I have like a lot of these cause I was bored🏃💨

— 🐞

omgggg 🫣 i loved them so much

1. this is so real, she’d put those thousands of dollars to good use 😌 she’d spend hundreds of them into the best surveillance just to look at you for her own amusement. she’d also install life360 on ur phone 😭

2. so true LMFAO if she drives u she’d wait until u’re inside your house and texted her to leave, and if u leave with someone else, she’d triple text you and them until she makes sure u’re home safe (she’d even ask for a selfie if u’re not that wasted 😭). she’d also check life360 and just stare at the little car moving until it gets to your house 😭

3. SHE’D KEEP THEM IN HER WALLET, PURSE, LOCKER, PHONE CASE, EVERYWHERE I JUST KNOW IT

4. she’d buy lots of very short skirts and crop tops just for you to look at her 🫣 she’d even gift you a bunch so she gets to stare at you as well

5. she fr just got her license to drive you cuz i’m 100% sure she has a chauffeur 😭 she wouldn’t even ask she’d just be like “see you at the parking lot.”

6. she’d definitely smell SO good 😭 and she’d have her hands on you at all times, even if it’s just subtly, but there’d always be a part of her body in contact with yours

7. the worst part about it is that u wouldn’t even question it cuz why would a rich girl steal ur stuff? LMFAOO (unless she’s obsessed with u, of course ☠️)

8. she’d be asking questions about your pets and u’d be like “how did you know?” and she’d be like “ohh, you told me about it like a week ago” (she actually found out cuz she stalks your mom’s facebook every other day)